Terabithia

2010-06-21T19:14:00.000-07:00

So, this could possibly be the first week day of the last week I will not be a "Mommy". It was an 'odd' sort of day, actually. I was awake when Luc got up for work, at around 6:15 am, and didn't go back to sleep. I lay there with this feeling of anticipation and finally decided to get up and have breakfast with Luc before he left for work. Once he was gone, I sat there, yawning, and decided to organize my to-do list for the day, figuring that'd inspire me to get a jumpstart on showering, cleaning out the fridge, then grocery shopping.
However, I managed the list and then found myself 'flagging', so I sat at the table for a bit, then finally made an executive decision to force myself back to bed, as this non-moving, robotic me was not going to get anything done anyway. I woke up at 9:30 from a deep sleep to the sound of the phone ringing. It took me ages to drag myself out of bed, and after I'd returned the call (to Luc), I sat in my rocking chair and dozed off again. I started to wonder if this was the exhaustion before 'the storm' of labour hits. However, it was not. I found a second wind, but obviously was still moving slowly as I barely managed to fit my 'tasks' into the day before Luc was home. Infact, I didn't get a chance to call a new friend with whom I've been hoping to get together with before the baby arrives.

I was fully expecting to have a boring wait before our little one came, but I find that every day is packed with shopping, cleaning, laundry, organizing, phone calls to various different companies for various different reasons, cooking, etc... It's crazy. It's making me start to think that adding a baby to the mix might be more than I can handle with my current work load, hence why every woman I know has warned me to drop the idea that I can 'do it all' - apparently I'm not the first woman to have gone through this.
It's innocent though really - you go from working 9 - 5 every week day, to suddenly having nothing but time on your hands which finally opens up the possibility to transform your home into the clean, organized, well-run enterprise that it always should have been but never was. The irony is that all your hard work goes out the window the minute the real reason you are home arrives... ;)

Anyway, it's summer solstice, and I didn't really formally get to recognize it, however I did manage to plant a bunch of flowers in pots, which are now hanging from trees, or tucked along the stairs of the deck, or clustered among the potted leafy plants I already had. I lucked in and paid $1 for each flat of 8 plants, so for $6 I came home with a good number of begonias, impatiens and little purple flowers (can't remember what they're called) - all semi shade tolerant, to make my yard a bit prettier. :)

I'm hoping to get back into my nature-appreciating, seasonal-crafting side of things again this year. I already have my eye on a book:

Enchanted Circles: Flower Garlands, Swags and Wreaths

I'm hoping to build some nice harvest wreaths and real Christmas garlands. I have a looooong list of things I want to get into this year though, and no telling if I'll actually achieve any of it. Just for fun, I'm thinking of:

- projects around the house (floors, the kitchen, furniture for the living room, repainting upstairs);
- seasonal crafts;
- walking with other Moms (strollercise groups);
- yoga;
- cooking and baking;
- taking courses in running my own business and/or business analysis and project management;
- taking another course in French;
- everything BABY!! ;) (swimming lessons, cardio classes, play groups with him/her)

All that and I still have to find time for laundry, groceries and cleaning the house, ha ha.
Okay, so probably only two things off that list will come true, but we'll see how it goes!

Here's to new beginnings and long, lazy summer days ahead!

xoxo

2010-06-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been over a year since I felt the need to 'blast' my thoughts into cyberspace, but I figured since I'm now entering what promises to be a VERY interesting year, I thought I'd resurrect the practice, at least for the time being. (We'll see how long it lasts once I'm changing diapers and feeding my little 'buddy' all day and night).

Last Friday, June 11, I essentially 'abandoned' the 9-5 world (quite literally, I had to leave before my test scripts could finish running so I essentially left loose ends which I'm sure will haunt me forever, as I skipped out the door and onto my next 'phase' in life). I'll admit I'm faking the whole "stay at home mom" (SAHM) idea because we all know I'll be back at work in a year. However, I think so far I'm off to a fairly good start with this new 'job' of mine. Though that may have to do with the fact my new 'boss' hasn't yet arrived on the scene.

For the last two days, I've managed to be awake before 8:00 (yesterday I started at 7:30 am), and faced the day with the intent to "get things done". I've been able to tackle things I haven't had time to do in ages - mountains of paperwork, bills to be paid, trips to the bank, grocery shopping (properly), house cleaning that wasn't getting done, and of course the prep-work that goes along with expecting a baby to suddenly appear in one's house. I saw a lactation consultant today, and after cursing a blue streak trying to re-install the carseat in the Jeep, I also saw a car-seat installation specialist (who thankfully made the process a TON easier once he showed me I was doing it wrong). :) I didn't realize it, but Gatineau has a list of garages with certified car-seat-installer-extraordinaire people who will help you do the installation for FREE. Sweet deal.

Tomorrow I have another lactation "buddy" coming to see me in the morning, (she's a mother of two and a volunteer who will hopefully be my 'life line' when I'm convinced my baby is starving and I just can't go on) and another ultrasound and doctor's appointment in the afternoon. So that'll be another busy day. I find it ironic that I had to dig out my day planner and carefully schedule my week - something I never had to do when working. If every day could be like the last two, I think I might seriously entertain the idea of quitting my job and running 'the household' instead. At least every day is something different and hey, if I need to take a walk because it's sunny out, or a nap because I'm exhausted, I can schedule that in - fabulous!

I'm also hoping to kind of 'reconnect' with life (outside of work) this year. I have met some wonderful ladies already that I know will become a huge source of support to me (and help fend off feelings of isolation), I intend to get to know my town a bit better (started with a great walk along the beach at the marina with a friend on Sunday afternoon, something I NEVER do), and I also am hoping to tap into what's going on in the world, as I really have no clue. It's amazing how you can tunnel-vision your way through life where suddenly the only important elements of your day are: what to wear to work, what to do at work, what to eat for lunch and supper, what to watch on tv at night. Seriously, there's so much more out there!! I think having kids is going to be a wonderful experience that will re-open corners of the world I'd long forgotten, and I'm very excited about that. :)

Anyway, we're still waiting for our 'petite patate' to arrive, and I have a feeling it won't be until next week. In the meantime, I'm enjoying this time while it lasts!

Sweet dreams for now,
S

2009-02-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

Wow, it has been a long time since I've posted on here! Though, for me, that is entirely a good thing. Over the past 8 months or so, life went from mundane and predictable to flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants stressful and is only now starting to calm down. However, looking back, while I used to have more time to write more meaningful posts, I wasn't really "living" - I was writing about living. I feel I had to do a 180 for a while, and get away from the computer, so that I could bring things back into balance.

So I am starting off this year, married (on a beautiful sunny day in October :) ), working on a very interesting, though crazily stressful contract, and looking at my life with a bit of a new perspective. It's time to slow down, strip out some of the stresses, and learn to enjoy things again! My next book (on order) is "In Praise of Slow" - and I can't wait to finally read it.

One of my new years resolutions was to invest in my health this year. So I booked an appointment with a Naturopathic doctor. She is wonderful - taking the time to investigate everything about my health and lifestyle. She quickly pinpointed why I feel so overstressed all the time and has recommended a new diet chalk full of nutrient packing grains, flax, fruits, vegetables, fish, and a wee bit less red meat. She also took me off sugar. Turns out, despite not actually eating what I consider to be 'junk food', I was still managing to consume more than four times the daily recommended amount of sugar, and not much else. This of course contributed to my rollercoaster ride of fatigue, restless energy (at the wrong times) and irritability.

I also signed up for the yoga class in Aylmer that I'd been looking at last year. It's wonderful - I really love it. I've taken yoga before, but maybe it's a combination of me being finally ready, and the teacher being so knowledgeable and passionate about what he does, that has made me love it so much this time. And in the summer, instead of regular classes, he does yoga on the beach at the marina at least once a week, at sunset. I can't wait!

I've also decided (though it's with a bit of a heavy heart, I have to admit), to not continue with my gardening group in Ottawa this summer. Last summer I found that, because it was always on a Sunday morning, I was often tired and didn't spend much time there anyway when I did go. It also meant that I would lose half a day, covered in mud, and could never do things like go to the gardening shows I wanted to, or to the farmer's market, or even to the UU church (I'm curious). It also prevented us from actually leaving the city to go relax at the cottage or spend time with our families. So this year, I'm going to bring the focus back to my own home.

One thing I've been learning over these past few months of craziness is that I tend to try to pack WAY too much into my life, because I always feel like I don't do anything worthwhile. However, I realize now that by packing more and more in there, I was barely able to accomplish anything, and when I did manage to work on something, I was already thinking of the next thing I had to do, so I never got to really enjoy the moment. So, I'm back to the basics, and hopefully this year I'll be able to get some of the things done around the house that we need to.

Anyway, Imbolc passed and the groundhog saw his shadow. Looks like Winter is not leaving us just yet, so I have more time to dream up things to do in the yard and gardens this year. I will also probably get back into posting a bit more from time to time. I have lots to chat about!

xo

2008-06-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

Litha (Summer Solstice): '...summer solstice, or midsummer, is a time to spread warmth and enjoy the sun's energy. The sun is at its highest point in the sky. Everywhere you look nature shows her bounty; praise
the opulence and abundance available to you for the asking. This is a day to celebrate your gifts of healing, whether they are intuitive or use plants. Make peace with the impermanence of life and changing
relationships, knowing that you are always guided and watched over. Bloom where you are planted. Respect male energy, honor your light, hug yourself. You are one with the infinite sun...
Looking around my garden yesterday, I could see that things were definitely starting to grow, but whether it's because of the cooler temperatures lately, or the fact it has rained almost every single day for the past
month or so, I did notice that my baby plants (especially the annuals) are all struggling to survive. I planted a veggie garden with neat rows of little peppers, pumpkins, cucumbers, tomatoes, chives, various herbs,
etc. and thanks to the hail and the rain, and the lack of sunlight, the plants seemed to almost shrink, some even disappeared, and weeds are starting to take their place. Hmmm. I'm thinking I'll have to turn that
corner into a nice shaded bed next year as it doesn't seem to be a good place to grow sun-loving plants (my elm tree hangs over it which is a problem).
At least I did have enough sense to keep three tomato plants and a large planter full of herbs up on my deck where they have received more sunlight and are starting to grow quite nicely now. I just finished a
book called 'The Birth House' by Ami MacKay (here's her website: www.thebirthhouse.com. Throughout the book, various herbal remedies (centered around childbirth of course) were mentioned, and in the back,
just for fun, they included what was in her 'willow book' - a list of various herbs, remedies, and 'spells' that midwives would use. It was a neat book, not quite as indepth as I thought it would be, but still a nice
read... Anyway, it got me thinking that I still would like to continue my study of herbs and their uses. There is a book that I'd love to have, called: The Herbal History of Plants by John Gerard - originally published
in 1597 and then revised in 1633, it's full of original herbal remedies, medieval folk-lore, and interesting facts about hundreds upon hundreds of plants. It's on my wishlist, but it's $100 so I'll have to save my
pennies. ;)
Anyhow, on to other things - last night, I took what was probably my final walk through my grandparents' house. They bought the farmland back in the early 70's (I believe) and built their house there. Throughout
my life, as my sister pointed out, that was one of few constant places that we always came back to. It's sad to think that the one home that we hadn't yet lost is now going to be owned by someone else, and
they've already applied to sever the area around the house from the rest of the farmland below, and then to divide the 'cow field' and the orchard, where two more homes might be built. I have to admit, I regret being so quick to say 'no thanks' to my aunt when she asked if we were interested in the farm. Of course, the reason why I said no still makes sense - it sold for over $500,000. There is no
way (especially since we already own two properties) that we were ever going to afford that!! But walking through the house yesterday, with its old (but perfect) wall-paper, original curtains, gigantic brick fireplace,
and that old familiar smell that was always 'the farm' (somewhere between a cool, damp basement and clean fresh powder). I was fine until I walked into what was once my mother's bedroom, and then became
the room that I often slept in when we visited. There was the same heavy orange curtains (circa 1960-something). I gently pulled one back from the window that used to scare me, and I felt a sense of cool
sadness come over me. I always swore that room was haunted (and later in life learned that my great grandmother had passed away there). Call me wacky but every time I walked into that room, the same sense
of sadness was hanging in the air. At the risk of sounding kooky, it felt as though she was there.
What probably hurt the most though, was looking at the fields and trees and barns that we loved so much. Each was 'so old' to us, filled with 'treasures'. We'd build forts out of the wood in the woodshed, tease
the chickens in the chicken coup, play for hours in the old horse stalls (that still had hay and straw from when Mom was a teenager), and creep through the barn, to the back where grandpa had built his airplane.
Looking at those buildings, I got a supreme sense of sadness, and while part of me wished I could take one last walk through, another part of me was thankful that the car was moving and we were moving on.
I would have loved to own that house, to fix it up, but carefully preserve some sense of my grandparents within it. I had a thought that, perhaps once the lots were sold, if that house ever went up for sale, I'd buy
it, but then I wonder if the new owners would have gutted it, removing every last shred of what was once sacred to my family.
Sigh...
Anyway, my mother had said to me yesterday that I should see the house empty to 'bring a sense of closure'. At the time, I told her I'd actually prefer that I remembered it full, and that still rings true. So I will try to
forget leaving it, empty and sad, and try to remember all the times we left it, with grandma and grandpa standing on the front steps, waving, dogs barking, cousins running around. Much better. :)

2008-06-17T06:19:00.001-07:00

Woohoo! So life is going pretty well for me right now. :) I've been keeping to my goal of trying to incorporate more artsy, girly activities in my life (to counter-balance the boring tech job that I'm so fortunate to have - money talks!)... So I've been helping to make lanterns for the lumiere festival, and so far it's been going very well. I've been building symbols to represent quintessence (the fifth element) as this year's theme is the elements (Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Quintessence). The fifth element represents (in the eyes of the Lumiere Festival creators) the 'magic' that holds everything together, drawing people in and making the event a wonderful success. :)The lanterns themselves are made out of bamboo (taken from dissected bamboo blinds) and tissue paper, with a mixture of water and glue which serves to tighten the paper so it's smooth, while making it flame retardant. The girl who runs it is hoping to have 2000 lanterns done in time for the festival, and so far we have about 500. I'm actually quite curious to see how we'll do this considering the fact only about 7 or 8 volunteers showed up last time, and the first day, I was the only one besides the two organizers who showed.
I guess we meet throughout July as well, and we also will have the public come in to make jar lanterns with the kids and paper lanterns themselves, but I believe they take those lanterns home and bring them back to carry through the festival.
Anyway, so that's an exciting event that I'm really looking forward to this year. In addition to the lanter part of it, people also dress up. Jenelle, if you read this, you'll know that it's one of my favorite guilty pleasures, ha ha. :) Any excuse to get into some wacky costume is welcomed in my life... :)
The other thing I've been helping with is the Maple Lawn Gardens. Basically, it's two or three hours on sunny Sunday mornings, spent surrounded by plants, flowers, and people who love plants and flowers, which I think is wonderful. It's so nice to hear people talking about the garden with so much knowledge and passion. :) Finally people who understand me! Ha ha! :)
There are other things I was hoping to 'inject' into my monthly routine, but it's been a bit of a challenge to squeeze them in. One thing was shopping for all our food at the farmer's market in Ottawa. I had hoped to start a spin-off blog with recipes and traditions for preparing our locally available food. I still might do that one of these days, but I find right now, by the time I manage to leave the garden at noon on Sundays, I'm covered in dirt and mud and am looking forward to lunch, so the idea of driving downtown to the stadium where the market is kind of goes out the window. I also want to go berry picking sometime soon (before they're all gone!) but I'm not sure when the next available weekend will be for that...
In the mean time, I'm going to try to add one special thing to my routine that has nothing to do with eating (hard to believe but it's true)... I went to see the Sex in the City movie on the weekend, and while I do find that "Kerry" needs to do something with her hair, wanders around with some of the most hideous clothing on, and uses a cell phone that is duct taped together, every so often she (or more-so her friends) had some awesome shoes and accessories and outfits on! That kind of grabbed my lesser-exercised fashion-loving side by the ear and gave it a good shake. So yesterday I headed down to the byward market, where all the trendy boutiques with local (and some more prominent) designer clothing, and found myself in heaven (just like last time I was there at xmas). I found shoes that are incredibly similar to the blue pumps that Kerry apparently spent $525 on in the movie, for $59... :) I found a sweet little grey satin dress with black lace ribbon around the waist for $59, I found an uber trendy white patent purse for - you guessed it - $59!! All this was found in my favorite little boutique 'frou frou' (I hate the name though, makes me think of little old French ladies but anyway). I also found a neat store called Karma, that makes their clothing from recycled rubber and canvas, as well as from natural like bamboo, salvaged wood, etc. There's also a designer knits store somewhere that I haven't managed to find yet, and of course there are many other little boutiques, each with its own treasures for your home, your wardrobe, or just for fun. :) So I'm hoping to start going there, one day a month, grabbing myself a yummy coffee and strolling through to see what deals I can find. SUPER fun. :)
So that's all for now I guess - keeping busy, and happy (finally!)
xoxo

S

(Some Karma clothes!)

2008-05-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, so for some reason, I have been lucky enough to find someone in the world who has a fabulous knack of sending me the right messages at the right time to help pick me up. I have no idea how she does it as the messages obviously aren't for ME (she sends to over 5000 people a month) but it's uncanny how what she writes seems to speak directly about whatever it is that I'm currently stressing over.

Today I tried to write an entry, and later erased it as it had turned into a complete whine/bitch fest (nothing that I would want to read again) about my life. I am not sure what sparked it, but a general sense of boredom with my career, frustration with my lack of organization and time-management skills, and the fact that I got to feast my eyes on some more travel logs from Jenelle and heard that another high school friend was taking some time off from life and moving to London, England, all finally collapsed on my head and I was fairly and completely depressed.

A lot of what I often feel stems from the fact that something is missing from my life (perhaps just a general FOCUS?), and trying to fill it up with volunteer activities, classes, work projects, etc. isn't helping, infact, it's just making me tired and stressed out. I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I am never going to be one of those people who can handle doing 15 different major activities every week, plus juggling friends and work and family and still managing to clean the house and walk the dog. It won't happen, it makes me miserable to try, so I might as well give in and relax a bit. The part I haven't figured out is if I'm supposed to sit in my yard like an old maid forever or if there's some magical "thing" (interest, talent, club, activity, what?) that once I find it, will fit into that hole, and everything will fall into place. I'll be surrounded by a few very close friends who share my interests, I'll have time and energy to devote to my "family life" and relationship, I'll do the laundry and wash the dishes and walk the dog and still have hours to spare..

Anyway, so as I was feeling low, and once again hitting the same brick wall with regard to fixing it (surfing the web on house-swaps to Australia only serves to compound my sense of 'grief' over living in Gatineau suburbia), I got my message... The theme of it was judging for yourself, what is enough in your life. Not as a whole, but really, if you break everything down - do I have enough to wear? Do I have enough to eat? Do I have enough space, a big enough home? What about my view of success? What is enough success? What is enough in my relationships?

When I start to think about it, and she mentions this as well, for many of the 'categories' I go through, it seems that instead of thinking I don't have enough, I reach the opposite conclusion: I have too much. It's quite a profound thing for me to really ask myself if I have "enough" because I often fall prey to the 'grass is always greener' syndrome, especially when it comes to looking at what other people my age have or are doing.

I do have MORE than enough to eat - we throw out and compost almost half of what we buy, I have, for the most part, too much to wear (I know this because there are items in my closet that never get worn at all), I have too much art stuff - I never create anything because there's just too many options and too many unfinished projects sitting around, I have more than enough space in our house (we have one 10x20 room that we have one shelf, one table and the dog bed in - crazy!), and finally, I have too much to worry about right now, so much that I can't focus on any one thing and see it through, or enjoy it.

On the side of not having enough, I think a lot of my 'shortages' are a direct result of the overloads elsewhere. If I had a more lenient schedule, with a relaxed lifestyle, I might have more time and energy for friendships and my relationship. If I threw out the old ugly clothing I no longer wear, I'd have space in my closet to see the things I do own that I forget to wear, and I'd know better what to buy. If I bought less groceries for specific meals, and had the time to make them, I wouldn't have a shortage of good food and money to pay for it.

The other part is success. That one is tough for me. How much is 'enough' when it comes to my success? In friendship? In relationships? In my career? Family life? I don't know... That's where I'll have to do some thinking.

Anyway, the point was that, as I've often ranted, we live in a consumer-based society. Waverly quoted that if we were to go back to what we were consuming 17 years ago, we'd only have to work an average of 5.8 hours a day. If we went back to the 40's it'd be even less. Apparently, we now consume 12 times more than we did in the 20's. Back then, they were just figuring out how to trigger a desire to buy more than what you need. And in perfecting it, they created me, ha... It's up to us to figure out how much is enough and stop when we've reached that. Only then, I think, will we find peace and happiness in our free time. :)

Anyway, thanks again to Waverly, she's an angel in disguise...

S

2008-04-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

So, I am now the proud owner of a genuine trucker's tan. :) We have had a couple of beeeeeautiful weekends, working on the yard, cleaning up the dead leaves, tearing down ugly mismatched plastic lattice and broken bamboo fencing that the previous owners had put up around their horrible raspberry bramble patch, making a compost pile, and pruning the trees. Luc has been feverishly trying to make the lawn grow grass, which seems to be a losing battle at our place - we thought it was patchy last year, now it's downright endangered - so our yard is a maze of flourescent pink tape (a futile attempt to keep Tigger and I off the lawn), and we rejoice when we see the microscopic blades of grass almost nearing 1/2 an inch long... ;) It's fun, we're enjoying the yard so much more this year.
We bought a BBQ too, and a patio set, and I hung my solar lanterns up in the trees above the deck. Speaking of trees, we got a great quote from a local guy who will take down our three ugly juniper/cypress trees that are growing up against the house, and also, they'll be 'felling' the huge pine tree in the front, whose top half broke off in the ice storm. (It's hideous). It's sad to me, as it was once such a big, solid tree, and I'll miss having that blocking us from the street. That said, I do plan to do some research into what kind of tree to plant there in its place. I'd LOVE an oak tree, but they're so huge, I'm not sure it'd be a good idea in our relatively small front yard... Maybe a flowering/fruit tree to feed the birds would be a better option.
Anyway, we decided to focus on the back yard this year, and then we'll work on the front yard next year.

So, I was reading the newspaper on Friday (which I never do), and noticed there is an abundance of doom and gloom stories about food shortages on the rise. So much so that Walmarts in the US have imposed rice rationing, as people have begun hording the available rice, in expectation for the price hikes to come. People in BC have started this as well. I wasn't aware of it before, but it seems that all over the world, countries are suffering from severe food shortages, and Luc was telling me that in Haiti, they've resorted to baking cookies out of clay and eating them, in place of any grains or rice. Sad. :( Here, smaller stores have already begun to see the effects. One store in Ottawa says that over the last few weeks, his bags of rice went from $15 to $30, and another merchant says that where she used to sell her rice for $40 a bag, she now has to buy it for $50, so she's trying to take care of her customers by not making any profit off it, and selling it for pretty much exactly what she paid for it.
Then there were various conflicting articles, one stating that global food shortages are a symptom of rising gas prices, as it's costing farmers a lot to produce grain products, and those farmers who use the grain products to feed livestock have similarly been impacted as they now have to pay more to keep their animals. From this persepctive, bio-diesels or other renewable fuel sources seemed to be a possible answer. However, another article was poo-pooing Ontario's recent decision to invest $600,000 into bio-diesel farming, as it entices farmers to divert land from their agricultural production over to the production of crops for bio-diesel. It seems a vicious cycle as you can't lower prices of crops and solve food shortages if the fuel prices are sky-rocketing, but if you have to sacrifice agricultural production in order to lower the price of fuel, you still won't be able to produce as much food. Hmmmm...
Seems either the media is being typical and blowing EVERYTHING out of proportion (along with companies who are inventing new crisis situations in order to benefit from the fear-based consumerism they spark) or, we're truly facing the 'Age of Scarcity' as the paper put it. Even today, I saw another ad on the internet for Go Blue.org, a group focused on conserving Canada's apparently dwindling fresh water supply. So now, in addition to not consuming excess energy, food, products made in environmentally unfriendly ways or with similarly destructive materials, and conserving gas, we are also being told to cut back on water. According to the site, http://www.goblue.org/en/, our fresh water is in limited supply, as it comes from age-old glaciers that are now melting at a rapid rate. If we don't cut down our consumption now, we will apparently be faced with water shortages, as the fresh water doesn't renew itself. Canada is apparently guilty of major over-consumption of its water supply, compared to countries in Europe. That surprised me as we really don't have a huge population.. Maybe we're just as bad as our Southern neighbours afterall.
Hmmm. I'm confused a bit on this one though because doesn't it rain? I mean, I know we've enjoyed a LOT of fresh water, maybe, because of the glaciers, but I mean, the water doesn't go away when we use it, it continually gets released back into the environment, where it falls back onto the Earth, and if it happens to land on ground that filters it (and doesn't contain salt) voila! You have fresh water. Where I'd see a problem is if we're busy polluting any of the fresh water that does recycle itself back into the Earth (and yes, I imagine we most certainly are poisoning the heck out it).Anyway, just to add another layer to the multi-cyclical growing pile of issues, the site states that things such as nuclear energy (touted in one of the articles I read as a wonderful source of renewable, clean energy and another possible remedy to our fuel issue) comes at a cost as it depletes the fresh water supply.
Can we ever win? Apparently not, if it's true that the population is expected to rise between 40 and 50% over the next 50 years... And they hit that little 'annoyance' spark within me by showing a picture of one of the new suburbs that are all going up at an alarming rate. With cookie-cutter (ugly), cheap-material houses, sandwiched together with their postage stamp lawns and row upon row of dismal, blasé paved, treeless streets. Gaaaaghh!
Yet one more reason why I think I need to go find an island where idiots aren't allowed, and furthermore, where we need to slow down on the reproducing - surprising too since the avg family has like 2 kids (so they only replace themselves)... That's one more excuse for me to become a crazy dog/cat lady instead of a 'soccer mom' anyway... :)
S

2008-04-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

Spring is finally attempting to push its way into our region, however futile the effort.. We still have two feet of snow on the ground, huge snowbanks, and slushy roads, but there are pockets of warm air that carry a faint scent of fresh ground, that every now and again surprise you as you battle your way through the gusts of wind and icy rain. Sounds marvellous doesn't it? I realized just how desperate I was for some sign of an end to this winter when I caught myself getting excited that the air no longer freezes my nose, despite the wind rushing at me with enough force to blow my hair around and flip my umbrella inside out.
Inside, I have started my first wave of seeds (this year, despite not having any dirt for the gardens and still being unsure as to how I'll get dirt since I own a cavalier, not a truck, I've decided to plant seeds for a variety of annuals, perrenials (and grasses too!) and veggies). It's exciting to see the little baby green plants all poking up from beneath the earth in the sunny basement window, but I'm starting to wonder where I'll keep them all as they grow, considering the ground won't be ready for another month and a half. Hmmm... I might have to break down and buy some grow lights for my 'babies' as our house doesn't have a ton of windows that offer strong natural sunlight (note to self: must ensure the next house we buy is not facing NORTH)...

So lately I've found myself drawn more and more into this 'eco' thing going on in the world. I first discovered it, not all that long ago, as something that Earth-friendly Pagan circles and new-age psychologists were constantly talking about on the web and in books - this whole return to a simpler life, consuming only what you need, living 'green', as a means to reconnect with the Earth in both a practical and spiritual sense. For me, it started as a spiritual thing - trying to simplify my lifestyle so I could appreciate more the things I have and free up time for things that matter, like the people in my life. Now everywhere I look I see more and more 'green' furniture (that costs twice the price but hey, it's made with bamboo), organic clothing, eco friendly cars, 'straw bale' houses, organic foods and a major push to properly label and hopefully market local produce. It's confusing - I'm having a hard time differentiating between keeping things simple and environmentally friendly and being lured back into the consumerism game with products that claim they're 'green' but are actually laden with toxins and were actually produced in a smoke-belching factory where a forest once stood.

Then there's the 'serious' side to the issue - where I am seeing numerous books, tv shows, and even college courses, that address the future and the economic and social impacts we're bound to face when we finally do run out of non-renewable energy sources. Someone recently said 'it's the end of the 'Age of Oil'' and it really hit me - you read about that stuff in history books, where one era ends abruptly and out of the ashes comes another, even more revolutionary era that changes the way society as a whole thinks and functions. I'm fascinated to know what's next. Apparently 'renewable energy' and small-scale living is the key to long-term success in the future. Just hearing that kind of freaks me out because so many people out there can't do anything for themselves anymore - they've become so reliant on paying someone to do everything for them, from producing and preparing the food they eat to cleaning their houses to getting them to work, to telling them what choices to make.

Of course with all the 'hype' that has been generating over the environment, people are starting to climb aboard the "treading lightly" movement, and with the people comes the booming commercial industry. The same organizations who tell you that you 'need' to buy their products in order to be 'happy', are now telling you to 'live lighter, buy green' - then putting pretty signs filled with crisp green foliage and bright blue sky around their toxic chemical-laden products and jacking up the price (whether this is to make more money or to drive you to the cheaper non-eco friendly stuff is something that I still haven't figured out). In one jewellery store (Claire's) they had done this with wooden jewellery - setting it up on a big fancy 'fresh' looking display in the middle of the store that had a sign about 'going green'. I'd love to see where exactly that wooden jewellery was produced, and where the wood came from. To me, cutting down a tree so I can put a wooden bangle around my wrist seems counter-intuitive to the whole 'green movement', no? In my opinion, people who are eating this up (and okay, I admit they do a great job of making it look so damn pretty!) are going against the entire idea of living a self-sustainable lifestyle, where you consume only what you need, and make conscious choices around the products that you buy. I am starting to wonder if people are still going to miss the point as they are once again flooded with a barrage of 'eco-friendly' garbage from the oh so savvy commercial world. It might be 'biodegradable' but did a factory mow down trees and belch out polution in order produce this product? Do you even NEED this product?

On a different note, I found this book recently and think it will be a fascinating read (if and when I ever get around to joining the library): Stupid to the Last Drop: How Alberta Is Bringing Environmental Armageddon to Canada (And Doesn't Seem to Care). It's stuff like this that really gets my goat. People are people, and many of them just don't care. It's the rest of us (who aren't raking in the profits) who have to live with the consequences. And yet, while I'm ranting away, I do have to admit that I am being just a wee bit hypocritcal as I too am still a slave to the idea of 'quick and easy' - if it is too much of an effort, I still take the non-eco friendly option.

On a positive note, I can't wait for the Ottawa Farmers Market to open in May - they even have local produce, baking, beef, pork and chicken there, so you really don't need to look outside the region to find what you need. And as for the rest of it, I'm taking small steps - to me, it comes from everyone making those small changes in their daily lifestyle, coupled with a 'paradigm shift' toward local, simplistic living, that matters. This weekend I'm going to try cleaning my mirrors and windows with 1/2 vinegar to 4 cups water and a squeegie. (As opposed to using harsh chemicals) and I'm hoping to replace more of my lightbulbs with energy saving ones.

Ta ta for now.

2008-03-06T06:59:00.000-08:00

Weee! So we just got back last weekend from 8 days in Jamaica. The water was beautiful and warm, the sun was hot, and now my body is sorely disappointed that I've returned to the frozen North to have some 60+ cms (at least that's what they're expecting) of evil white stuff dumped on my head. We are all actually facing the problem of not having anywhere to put the snow. People are complaining that throwing heavy snow/rain/ice mix over their heads onto 5ft high snow banks is now causing them chronic back and shoulder pain, and poor Luc spent FOUR hours out in the driveway yesterday, creating a network of pathways and hills across the front yard, our only space left to pile it.

So, I am ignoring it and waiting patiently for Spring. Talking to my mother the other day about the fact I have very little interaction with other people at ALL in my life anymore made me realize that there is so much out there to do (once the damn snow goes away) and that I have tons of planning to do for my gardens, etc. Suddenly my empty planner filled up with days of cleaning, planting, buying seeds, buying things for the yard, building decks, removing stain and repainting our patios, and working on the kitchen, etc. Added to that, I've decided to volunteer with the Maple Lawn Gardens in Ottawa, one of Canada's last remaining walled gardens from the 1800's, and as well with the Ottawa Lumière Festival, a beautiful event that takes place in August. I went last year and fell in love with the idea of a soft summer's night lit up by hundreds of glittering paper lanterns, little kiddlets running by with fairy wings on, and fire-breathers and freaky people on stilts wandering through the crowds.

So yes, I have lots to look forward to OUTSIDE of work. Now I just have to work on bringing more work-related activities into my daily schedule when I'm stuck here in this grey ugly cubicle. I have to give my Recruiting presentation three more times this month, and it's a true test for me because I really did feel that it was a horrible presentation the first time, and my limited public speaking skills were really really rusty. Here I thought it was over and done with and now I find myself having to give it again, and again, and again. Ick... But that's okay. Someday soon (hopefully) I'll be able to go home and unwind with a drink on our patio, with my doggy (who is still stuck at my Mom and Dad's because of the snowstorms), while Luc BBQ's something yummy on our new grill on the upper deck. Here's to dreaming!! :)
xo

2008-02-14T06:09:00.000-08:00

So we people riding on the left side of the bus today got a nice treat on the ride in.. The trees were absolutely stunning! There was a mix of trees whose trunks and branches were almost black, contrasted with their tops which were frosted in a strikingly beautiful white, even the ever-greens were completely coated with a thick layer of frost, so that they looked like they'd been sprayed with a thick crust of silver sparkles. Then every now and then we'd get a patch of trees that had perhaps been warmed by the sun, just enough that their frosty whiteness had melted into a dark silvery coating that caught the sun and sparkled like jewels as we passed by. I know I'm being totally cheesy about this, but it was really such a nice thing to look at after days and days of cloudy grey skies and mountains of heavy snow everywhere.
And I wasn't the only one enjoying it, I noticed about four or five people ahead of me were all taking in the 'view' as well, and many of them were smiling to themselves. It was nice to see. :)
So, it's Valentines day, and my message from the Universe (www.tut.com) was:

Love where you've been.
Love where you're at.
Love how you think.
Love the power you pack.
Love all that you seek.
Love all that you feel.
Love your rocking emotions
and the thoughts you make real.
But mostly, amazing Shelley, I really, really love you in this very moment.
What?
Loving you from every angle - The Universe

P.S. Far be it from me to tell anyone what to love about themselves, Shelley, I'm too busy loving YOU.
:)
S

2008-02-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday... :)
This day marks the starting day of the first time I'll ever have given something up for Lent. I had heard of doing this before, and remember pitying those friends of mine who were busy turning down things like chocolate and sweets, or giving up TV, for forty days. However, I now realize just how refreshing and enlightening it might be to really challenge myself... I was reading on Lynn Jericho's blog (a beautiful blog - if you ever want to indulge in some thought-provoking spiritual discussions, without the whole fire and brimstone aspect, check it out)...

Anyway, she was explaining her view of Lent. During the 40 days, from Feb 6 to March 22, the point is to try to discover and then weed out the "three temptations" in your life. By doing this, it can serve to show you who YOU truly are, or at least allow a glimpse of yourself that may normally become buried or distorted when bombarded with outside influences. These influences often take the form of one or more of the three temptations:

Prejudice: not necessarily prejudice against others, it could be anywhere in your life where you allow dead thoughts (as she calls them), that come wafting up from the past, to colour your thoughts and responses to things around you NOW. This includes prejudice against yourself, against situations you find yourself in, and/or against others. I know for me, I often find situations where I think 'gee, that would be so much fun if I could do... (insert activity)' but then quickly dismiss the thought as those old ghosts come back to haunt me 'ya, but remember that time when you did something similar, and you were horrible at it'... Or in other cases where I find myself presented with something that, if I were open about it, might be truly surprising and wonderful in life, but I write it off as 'been there, done that', painting over it with my thoughts of another similar time and place, and allowing my original thoughts and emotions to cloud any new ones I might feel. In this way, I miss out. It's about allowing your thoughts to live in the present, to discover something in your day and embrace it with a sense of 'newness', ignoring all past experiences that might ruin your perception of the moment.

Addiction: of course, there are the standard addictions that we all hear about - drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. But you'd be surprised how other behaviors can become addictive too, often because we are doing them in order to hide from something that scares us or makes us uncomfortable. For myself, one big addiction I have is the internet. Some people might think that's a ridiculous statement, because the internet is not a 'bad' thing, I'm learning all the time, I have the world at my fingertips and I can always turn off the machine and walk away... But that's just it, I can't. If I do turn it off, I'm left with a void, a feeling of 'now what?' - and this even happens when I'm at WORK. I am bored, unstimulated, unhappy, and unfulfilled, unless I'm wasting my hours and minutes surfing endless websites about what buffalo eat in June, or where the word 'mango' comes from, etc. What's the real reason I'm surfing? Because I'm bored at work, because I like to know the answer to every question that pops into my head, because I'm afraid to live in the outside world where I might be rejected or disappointed. It's like I'm on an endless quest to be 'filled up' by false, flashy, entertaining websites, instead of taking satisfaction from getting my work done and maybe then enjoying a moment of real, not stolen, 'free time' to myself. Anyway, so addictions can be to anything, often once you remove the addiction, you'll find the thing underneath that you were hiding from, and maybe by facing it, you will find you're finally able to feel peace.

Fantasy: another one of my terrible afflictions... Not 'that' kind of fantasy. I'm talking about daydreaming your life away. Again, this is done, for me, with the Internet. Any minute of the day I can be instantly transported to a small villa in France, browsing pictures of quaint country cottages surrounded by swaying lavendar fields, and in the next moment, I'm checking out aerial views of the Great Pyramids, before studying a site about being a stay at home Mom or volunteering to help animals. The sky is the limit. But in the end, am I travelling anywhere? Am I meeting people? Am I enriching the lives of children or animals around me? Nope. I'm staring, glassy-eyed at a wide LCD screen two feet from my face in my sterile cubicle environment, surrounded by endless stacks of paper waiting to be pushed around. And at the end of the day, when I COULD be doing something exciting, I'm mentally worn out from all my 'exploits' and just want to trudge home to make dinner and mope around the house. For me, by removing the Internet, I would hopefully at first find a void, a void that is waiting to be filled with REAL life. Then bit by bit, perhaps 'real life' will begin to seep in around the edges, and suddenly I might find I'm too busy to bother with the computer. :) Of course, it doesn't have to be the internet either. It can just be thinking too much. Put me on a 40 minute bus-ride home with nothing to read or listen to and I'm suddenly off in a world all my own, sometimes so deeply immersed in it that even when neighbours smile at me, I don't see them (I had one actually clap at me to make sure I was okay, lol). Yet another avoidance technique - our world is full of them, MP3 players, books, computers, blackberries, or just plain old staring into space can fill an otherwise 'boring' space of time. But what if you realized where you were, took a look at the others around you, offered a smile, or your seat to someone who needed it, would you feel better? Probably! I can tell you, letting your imagination run wild is a totally unfulfilling experience because sooner or later the bus stops, you get out, and you're back to reality. A reality that can be rather bleak if you're busy thinking your life away, instead of taking action and doing something.

So, then, to augment all this 'withholding' of *fun* things, I also want to ADD something over Lent. I have made a list of 10 things I would do, if I had all the time in the world, and nothing to stop me (including my own fears). I'm of course not going to do half of them, but I made them small, baby-step sorts of things, and I'm hoping to maybe accomplish one or two of them over the next forty days. We'll see. Once I start to go stir-crazy because I can't touch the keyboard, I might just actually finish something. :)

Anyway, for those of you challenging yourselves, I wish you all the best of luck. :) It might not be easy or fun, or even possible, but hey, it'd be nice to remind ourselves who is boss in this lifetime, and believe me, it's not supposed to be Dell Computers... ;)
xo

2008-02-05T08:16:00.000-08:00

So, at the beginning of January, I posted about a blog I'd found (called 'The Healthy Plate') on yahoo, where every month, the author (Mairlyn Smith) will give you one thing to ADD to your life, in order to achieve a healthier body and mind. Last month, her suggestion was to add one serving of fruits, and one of veggies to your diet each day. I have to say I didn't always succeed in doing so, but I did see an increase in my eating of salads and fruits (got my apple right here for later), and we were throwing out much less rotten produce every week from the fridge. :) Always nice on the wallet too. For February, this month's 'addition' to help you achieve overall better health is... (drumroll please)... 10 minutes of walking per day. If you already exercise, add 10 minutes of walking somewhere else in your day (ex: take the stairs, take a 10 minute walk around the block at lunch, get off the bus a stop or two early and walk the rest of the way, take a 10 minute break in the afternoon for a walk to wake you up). It only has to be 10 minutes (but if you really enjoy adding this in, you could also add two or three 10 minute sessions per day), and make sure it's a good, vigorous walk. None of this sauntering around the block at a snail's pace, dragging your heels. Walk with purpose. :) I'm going to try this out, as I do have slow times in my day, when my mind is fuzzy and no amount of trying can get me to concentrate on working. It's those times that I need to grab my coat and head outside for a 10 minute brisk stroll through the 'neighbourhood' before returning to my desk, hopefully refreshed and ready to work. I'm going to try adding a 10 minute walk in the morning, and one in the afternoon, to help me wake up better. :)
We'll see how long it lasts. ;)

2008-01-31T16:01:00.000-08:00

Imbolc

(Yes, I posted this last year, but it saves me having to go waaaay back to last February)... :)

Celebrated on February 1 or 2, Imbolc or Brigid's Day marks midwinter. Animals begin to come out of hibernation and ewes begin lactating; light is returning. This is a time to acknowledge our individual gifts and feed our talents with supportive action. Imbolc is connected to the powerful new life awakening in the depths of the earth and thus also represents the rebirth and upsurge of personal power. Now we can plant seeds of inspiration, acknoledge the returning light, invoke patience, find virtue in perserverance, and inspire others. Symbols of the holiday are: seeds, wells, and fire.
Herbs and other plants for this sabbat include angelica, basil, bay, cinnamon, frankincense, myrrh, nettle, orris root, rosemary, rowan, and saffron.

If you're open to trying a Wiccan approach to welcoming in the dawning of spring and its warming light (especially welcome in the midst of all these crazy storms we are having), Jamie Wood, who wrote 'The Wiccan Herbal' that I often quote from, also suggests a nice little 'spell' (though it's not really a spell in the traditional sense, keep reading, you'll see!)... You need three things to do this - a yellow candle, a blue candle, and some basil oil, which you can either buy at a specialty shop, or make yourself by sealing fresh basil leaves in olive oil in an air-tight jar for at least 6 weeks before using. :)
As Jamie says, 'this spell is intended to remind you of the peace and importance of relaxation during the dark times, especially if a wicked case of the winter blues hits.'.. Perfect. :)
Now, prepare your candles - carve the word 'light' into the yellow one, and the word 'peace' into the blue one, then anoint them both with the oil. As you light the yellow candle, picture the first rays of sunlight filtering back into your life - imagine how the warm sunshine feels on your skin. Know that the same light already burns inside of you. Now light the blue candle and breathe 'deeply of peace and tranquility'. Say to yourself the word 'Serenity' three times, imagining what peace looks like in your life. Know that the calm of peace resides within you. :) I like this one.

I felt a similar sense of peace (somewhat begrudgingly, but it was there) this morning while standing in the cold at the bus stop. The bus hadn't shown up again (it seems to be rather unreliable at 7:30) and as I shivered and scowled, I caught sight of the trees across the street, ablaze with golden light. As I really looked at them, I could see the sunlight illuminating every branch, every shimmery piece of bark, every pinecone, and I thought 'warmth is coming'... Yay! Bring it on Mother Nature, I'm so ready... ;)

S

2008-01-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

So I was browsing the shelves of a nearby bookstore a few weeks ago (it was too cold to walk around outside) and I happened upon a book that some of you (who know me well) would snicker at for sure - it's called 'The Power of Kindess - The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life'. I will admit that I was partially attracted to it because of the cover, at first, which is a basic white paperback, with a pretty green baby plant sprouting. In January, an image like that can be very inticing indeed. :) However, I also was a bit curious about the subject matter, as I have been known to feel often like I have no time for people, or friendships, or even relationships of any kind, and am often left feeling drained and frustrated when my interactions with others don't go the way I expect them to (which is all the time - people are unpredictable things, afterall)... As a result, I am often totally unfulfilled in life, bored, and perhaps a bit lonely (I do have friends, but they're mostly more like acquaintances and I tend to keep myself very closed off from others, which makes it difficult to form any deep friendships). I also have puzzled over why some people can come off so friendly and open, and instantly attract people to themselves, and EMBRACE that fact, while others (myself included in this category) come off as prickly, pushy, rushed, and basically unreachable; afraid that 'taking on a friendship' will mean having to add phone calls and chasing people around for their time to our already crowded and exhausting schedules. This, despite the fact that we (or I) yearn for more rewarding interactions with people.
So I began to read it. And what a wonderful (but challenging) set of ideas to live by!
So I thought I'd share. Each chapter discusses an element of expressing true kindess, and how that element, coupled with a shift in your life perspective, can open up vast possibilities for you, as well as making you an all-around happier person. Sounds good to me! :) The elements discussed are: Honesty, Warmth, Forgiveness, Contact, Sense of Belonging, Trust, Mindfulness, Empathy, Humility, Patience, Generosity, Respect, Flexibility, Memory, Loyalty, Gratitude, Service and Joy. Each is presented with a very down-to-Earth perspective, enhanced by interesting anecdotes, myths and stories, as told by the author, in a way that you could imagine yourself hearing them spoken by a friend, over a cup of coffee. He presents the ideas, but doesn't force them on you. However, when my mind at first resists some of the behaviours he suggests, he is quick to point out how our very make-up as humans NEEDS this kind of interaction with each other, and without it you become lost, depressed, lonely, unfocussed and ultimately dissatisfied in life, much like I've felt over the last few years..
Anyway, I thought I would maybe share each one (or an idea of it) but I'll throw it into another page (see the Sharing The Power of Kindness link on the right), as I don't want to bore anyone to tears unless they're curious. :)
Other than that, I just checked the forecast for Negril, Jamaica today, and it's a whopping +29!! Sure beats 'flash freezing', freak lightening storms, and high winds, (with rain AND snow) like we're seeing here in Ottawa today. :)
Just a few more weeks to go. :)
S

2008-01-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

On the lighter (or darker??) side of life... :)

Ahaahaaahaahaaa!!!! According to Elle Magazine, this is one of Spring's hottest new looks... Honestly, you can tell fashion is starving if we're now ooohing and aaaaahing over an outfit that can be achieved with a pair of insane granny panties and a role of saran wrap... And one only needs to insert a metal fork into an electrical outlet and don their grandpa's oldest pair of glasses to achieve sheer sex appeal... Apparently... Owww! Smokin'.... ;)

I'd like to run through the aisles of that fashion show and knock a few heads together I think!

2008-01-24T07:46:00.001-08:00

Ah! So I missed blue Monday - which was two days ago, apparently... That was the day that I had promised myself to buy a new plant to light up snow-bound life, and to kick off the start of a new growing season (at least, inside, anyway)... I think I'll have to go buy one today! I did acquire a new plant on Sunday, a pointsettia, but it's still recovering and I'm praying it's going to 'make it'... I had noticed it sitting by itself in the living room at my grandparents' farm. Seeing as they are now residing at their 'apartment' in Kemptville, I figured perhaps it would be a good opportunity to help out the plant, and add some more greenery to my dining room. :) However, silly me, I left it in the car for the afternoon, wrapped in a blanket, while I visited my grandparents. By the time I got home, it was withered and in quite the state of 'shock'... One interesting thing I noticed was that the withered leaves were warm to the touch - so much that it felt like it had a fever! Anyway, it's now hanging from the ceiling, infront of our long window in the dining room, and I'm hoping a little TLC will revive it to its previous 'perky' state.
So the next big day coming up is Imbolc (more on that later of course!), or Groundhog Day. It marks the end of the dark quiet months, and the time when new life begins slowly to stir underground. With the weather the way it has been, I've even heard birds in the morning lately that don't normally sing like that in the winter - makes me wonder if perhaps they've migrated a little earlier this year or something... I can already feel life picking up the pace again, as we head (at lightning speed) into February. I have to get myself organized so I can take things 'in stride' this year, instead of letting it all pile up and then come crashing down on my head in regular intervals like last year. :) Work is picking up, with several potential contracts coming down the pipes for me (in addition to my full-time one here). I'm busy preparing myself to give a presentation to the Director General of the House of Commons on Tuesday afternoon. Should be fun, I'm looking forward to it. It's strange, but I feel quite at home talking about the system, and what it can do for them, but ask me to talk about the weather, or myself, or anything 'theoretical' and I get flustered as hell... Anyway, where some bigger things are looming (our trip to Jamaica, our wedding in September, residing the apartments in the Spring), which all require a great deal of planning and money, incidentally, I'm slowly catching on to the art of not sweating the smaller stuff. I've decided that our own house does NOT need a remodeling makeover, which has alleviated a lot of pressure for me. I can now be content to buy key items for each room to make it 'complete' the way it IS, instead of always fretting about the fact I want to buy an X but can't until we take down this wall, and put up that shelf, and paint it this colour, and rip up the floors, etc. To heck with all that, I say! We're young, there's two of us in a decent sized house, the best thing to do is treat it like we did our apartment, accepting it for what it is now, and making it special in smaller ways. Just deciding that makes me feel so much better. :)
I also tried Waverly's suggestion of dividing up the year into 'themes' so as to know when to focus my energy on different activities, instead of carrying the whole load of ideas in my head, all the time, and then never feeling comfortable to devote time to any one of them for fear of neglecting the next. However, my attempts at dividing the year became difficult when I started trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to do this year. Things soon became cluttered and crowded when I thought of work, social life, exercise, gardening, crafty stuff, the house, the apartments, my relationship, traveling, etc. And the crazy part is, realistically, I won't do half of what I thought up anyway! But I know that I tend to think of March as being the time when I start to come out of my hibernation and start planning for the Spring. :) That's exciting. I'll be in Jamaica for the last 8 days of February, and will come back to the dawning of another year of gardening (slowly this time!) and big projects.
Anyway, happy not-so-blue Monday (even though it's late) - go buy yourself a cute fern for your desk - it'll brighten your day!!! :)
S

2008-01-13T17:06:00.000-08:00

So, it's Sunday evening, and I'm using agonizingly slow internet at my parents' farm - so I've given up any hope of amusing myself by surfing the web and have decided to write something instead (knowing that it will probably take half the night to actually post it).

Anyway, I'd love to be watching tv at the moment but the dogs are all over me if I try to sit on the couch. At least if I sit at the computer, the three of them pile around me on the floor. I'm on the 'GSD' shift at the moment (meaning, the three german shepherds are inside with me for their hour of house-time). Then I have to still do the four crazy Parson Russell Terriers and finally, the old guys can come back in (a golden retriever, a sheltie, and a Parson Russell who isn't old but she's quiet).

So has gone every evening for me for the last four in a row. I arrived here Wednesday with my dog, Tigger, unpacked the van, and started my adventure as a 'farm girl' extraordinaire. Let me tell you, it's exhausting, though I am slightly proud that I have managed to get through it without killing anything.. :)

My day starts at 7:40 am, when the young terrier, who hasn't yet learned the wonders of sleeping in, begins to scream. (For those of you who haven't owned a terrier before, this is akin to what a regular dog would sound like if you ran over its leg with your car, or some other similarily horrible incident... They SCREAM, and I've timed one of them at two high-pitched barks per SECOND, in two-minute intervals while I'm trying to take a much needed nap...)

So I stumble out of bed and throw my boots on to greet the day (yes, on the farm, boots and pj's are incredibly functional and fashionable, don't you know). :) Anyway, so first off, I head out to the 'dog room' where I'm greeted with various ear-splitting screetches and bellows, and I grab the three GSDs and throw them into their run, enduring a literal 'pummeling' of claws and teeth as they excitedly greet me, to open the door to the outside run. That one done, I do it again, twice more, with the various terriers. Then I find somewhere for the old guys to go outside.

I then alternate trying to make coffee, feed myself, feed the cats, and get dressed with feeding the puppies and Tigger and making sure everyone has time to do their business before I close down the runs of the smaller dogs who need to stay warm.
That done, I throw on my horse attire (ie: it's allowed to smell like a stable) and head out to the barn to put the horses out into the fields, muck their stalls, change their water, put new bedding in stalls, put hay out for breakfast, and hay in stalls for night, and sweep the aisles, before changing stallions (one out at a time) and heading in for lunch (yes, it takes about 2.5 to 3 hours to get all that done by myself).

By this time, the dogs all need to go out again, so I do that while feeding myself lunch.

After lunch, I've been taking two of the GSDs for a walk to the back of the farm, and then I spend the better part of my afternoon cleaning up after whoever has decided to poop on the floor or track shavings across the floor (myself included), and rotating them through time in the yard, time in the house, and time in their runs.

I usually just start to settle into something relaxing, like thinking about opening a book, finding some good music to listen to, or whatever, when I realize it's 4:00. That's feeding time at the ranch. :) So I get back into my barn clothes and boots, and stomp out to the barn to bring the horses all back in, give them their grain and fill up their water dishes, and then lock down the barn for the day.

By the time I get back, it's time to feed the dogs. So I get all their dishes ready, then bring each group in and crate them with their supper.

During this brief lapse in animal company (minus the cats who are still following me around and throwing my stuff on the floor, jumping into the dryer when I'm loading it and not paying attention, and sitting on the dining room table), and Tigger, who eats in with me, I decide to try to make dinner. So I make some little thing for myself to eat, and scarf that down before Tigger decides he needs out again (he's having a tough time adjusting to the water so when he needs out, he means it), and so all the dogs need out.

After supper, I lock the runs down in the garage (as in, I close the doors to the outside runs, so it stays warmer in there) and I start the shifts of each group getting an hour inside with me while I attempt to relax. I just threw the GSD's out a few minutes early because they'd finally become quiet, when I heard a funny popping sound coming from the kitchen. They were in the washroom where I'd stowed a garbage bag, and were busy trying to eat a pizza box. Now the terriers are in and I am doing a fairly good job of ignoring their skittering little bodies as they fly all over the house, sniffing and nipping and getting into things... And now one of the old dogs is scratching and whining at the door.

I managed to handle this for five days. I have one more to go. I certainly couldn't do it forever though. I'd go friggin crazy... (Someone just opened a kitchen cupboard door, be right back...) Anyway, my day will end at 10:00 (I can't stay awake much beyond that, because of my helpful canine alarm clock), and will have involved one more shift of dogs coming in, and one more session of them all going out to do their business, before they all are brought in and put to bed with a cookie for being such 'good dogs'... :) I don't know how my parents do this!

Anyway, so yes, tomorrow it's back to Ottawa, back to a job that bores me to tears, and back to my own home, where I can hopefully learn to appreciate how unstressful it is to take care of just ONE dog, instead of 9...

'Night!
S

2008-01-02T06:08:00.000-08:00

So, just in keeping with the second part of my resolution, which was to make healthier eating choices this year and restore my exercise program, here is an excerpt from Marylin Smith's blog 'the Healthy Plate'. I stumbled upon it this morning on yahoo and the refreshing thing about it is it's good old fashioned common sense, doled out in small steps. No miracle cures, or crazy birdseed diets. Her approach is to give you one thing to ADD to your lifestyle each month throughout the year, instead of taking away. So, for the month of January, if you're interested in being nicer to your body this year:

"This month all I want you to do is to add one more serving of fruit and one more serving of vegetables to your diet every day. That's it. That's all you do for the next month.
A serving of fruit is one medium-sized fruit, ½ cup (125 mL) cooked or canned fruit or ¼ cup (60 mL) dried fruit. Notice there is no mention of juice. You're probably drinking way too much juice anyway and I want you to eat the fruit not drink it. You only need ½ cup (125 mL) of juice a day which is a ton less than what most people are drinking. And when I say juice I mean 100 per cent juice. The real thing; not a fruit beverage, not a fruit cocktail, not a fruit drink. So eat more fruit, don't drink more fruit.
A serving of vegetables is ½ cup (125 mL) cooked or raw veggies or 1 cup (250 mL) of salad or leafy greens like spinach. Try to pick really deeply coloured fruits and veggies. Wash them well and eat the peel if possible. Of course that doesn't mean the orange rind, banana peel, onion skin, the list goes on. But apple peel, potato, peel, sweet potato peel, carrot, you get the idea, are all good. "

Yay, I can do this!! :)
S

2008-01-01T17:02:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year and welcome to 2008 :)
Last year, the calendar companion I subscribed to suggested that at the start of the year, we should consider a new intention for the coming year, a quality to bring into your life. My intention for this year would be balance, across all areas of my life - friendship, work, play, thinking and doing, me and others, etc...

For example, where I have reconnected with many past friends on the internet over the past year, in the new year, I'd like to work on renewing and building on tangible friendships that I have here, the ones I've neglected for so long and are now hanging by a thread. Also, with my health - high on stress and low on time (or so I thought since my mind was racing all the time, while I aimlessly puttered around and got nothing done), I tended to opt for easy meals, canned everything, and gave up on my morning situps, my gardening, my evening strolls, etc.
Tonight I cooked a healthy, simple meal of peas, rice and pork chops tonight, and Luc and I both felt instantly better. No cream sauces, no canned veggies, no stovetop stuffing, just healthy basic foods. Also, my Mom and Dad gave me some pots and dirt and indoor gardening tools for Christmas and I spent an evening last week up to my elbows in dirt, plants and pots scattered all over the dog room, and me totally in a state of pure calm and relaxation. The next day I was in the best mood I've been in all year, and managed to share a wonderful evening with my sister, without getting tired or cranky as I normally would have. It was then that I realized I need to start doing physical things again and lay off the 'thinking and planning' that I do constantly. Also with my exercising - Luc bought a small corner tv stand and I set up my tv in the room I had originally planned to be my exercise room. Just need to find some cables for the dvd player and I'll be able to start my pilates again. :) Even simple things like doing the dishes - that used to be 'my time' where I'd turn on some music, fill the sink with nice hot water, and wash and dry the dishes by myself, which helped me unwind. Over the last few days I have returned to doing that, saving the dishwasher for only those days when time won't allow me to wash the dishes, or when we have too many to do. I'm hoping it will not only help me to find 'me time' again, but it will also hopefully help cut down on our insane electricity bill, which came in at $350 for two months - Eeeeek!
Finally, I want to strike a balance between work and non-work life... I am at a point in my career where I've coasted long enough and now have to invest a little time and energy into pushing it the direction I want it to go before it stalls altogether. With that in mind, I have to realize that for 7.5 hours a day, I am wholey 100% dedicated to work-related activities. So that if there's a 'lull' in my day to day work, I fill it with more work, so that I get things done, thus eliminating that ever growing to-do list, and I feel more satisfied with myself, instead of feeling guilty all the time. That would leave my evenings and weekends open for enjoyable things like painting, having coffee with friends, gardening seminars (I signed up for about 20, ha ha), and spending time with Luc. :)
Where does the internet fit in all this? Max 1 hour a day! To me, that actually sounds like a lot still, until I take into account that currently I spend on average 5-6 hours a day on it... :( That's crazy.
Anyway, in keeping with the theme, I have now hit my one hour limit. So I will say good night, and I wish everyone good health, happiness, a little adventure, and most of all a sense of balance in their lives throughout 2008.

Ta ta!
S

2007-12-27T07:45:00.000-08:00

Merry ho-ho - I'm back at work today (Thursday), after a somewhat interesting Noel... Let's just say that, maybe due to a the fact they started the Christmas Season on November 1st this year in stores, most people were in crabby moods, totally tired and stressed, and well, xmas just wasn't the sparkling oasis that every year I wish it would be (and rarely is)...

I returned home with the evil thought in my head that everyone and their dog is totally messed up in life, that we're all just struggling along to survive, and that forcing ourselves to put on this 'happy happy joy joy' chirade while we all rush from here to there, meeting in a whirlwind frenzy of gift unwrapping, gorging ourselves on rich food (which ultimately leads to a nice stomach ache later on), and the endless driving back and forth to visit stressed-out family members just isn't worth the hassle. I came to the conclusion (as I do most years) that I'd much rather visit family on either weekend AROUND xmas, but not ON xmas, as our visits are much more enjoyable when there isn't so much hype surrounding them.

I found myself wishing we had children of our own, and that we could just stay home, where our pretty tree sits in the bay window, neglected, while we are running around the countryside. I really cannot wait for the day when we can wake up Christmas morning to the sound of excited kiddlies pitter-pattering around the tree, half-buried with treasures from 'Santa'.. And to be able to make eggs benedict with pemeal (sp?) bacon for breakfast, like my Mom always did, and opening gifts slowly and thoughtfully, actually taking the time to enjoy what each one contains, and to properly thank the ones giving them to you. Then maybe after brunch (and perhaps relatives could join us for that part if they live nearby) then we might go visiting. Or maybe not. I always loved Christmas day at our family's home. We'd get up really early in the morning and excitedly tiptoe down to the living room (at 2 or 3 in the morning, ha ha) and open our stockings. Then we'd play quietly with the toys and games we'd found in them, with only the light of the tree to go by (which always gave it a sort of magical feel) until our parents got up. Then we would be allowed to open our gifts from Santa only. Leaving the rest of the tree untouched while Mom made breakfast. After breakfast was over, we'd then sit back down infront of the tree and take turns opening our gifts. Then we had the whole day to relax in the living room, playing with new toys, trying on new clothes, watching tv, and all in all, just indulging in pure 100% relaxation time. Meanwhile, the turkey and big xmas dinner would be cooking in the oven, and we'd have a big supper before finally settling down to watch a movie or whatever and finally off to bed, our bellies full and our minds relaxed. THAT is how xmas should be, and will hopefully be again, once we have a family of our own...

There has been some talk in my family of our parents moving closer as well, so hopefully someday that will be a reality (speaking selfishly of course) and then we can also include them in our xmas celebrating, instead of doing this somewhat stressful 'rotation' schedule, where every second xmas we go to Luc's family's homes, instead of seeing my parents, and vice versa, which I think is hard on both of us. It's just kind of sad, as for example, this year, the way people's schedules are working, and with the amount of stress building throughout our family (due to many many factors, all out of our control), we will not be making the trip down to see my parents on New Years. I had been looking forward to it, however, after discussing it with my sister and mother, we have all decided that it's just too much hype and craziness to travel down there when people are working all in between now and New Years. I'm hoping that Becky and I will be able to take some time to go see them once Christmas is done and overwith, and things have settled down a bit with my grandparents. My parents are going on a cruise (bane of my existance at this point) and I'm hoping desperately that they can at least 'get through it' unscathed and will return home a bit more relaxed (doubt it though). My grandparents are also taking a very gigantic (and difficult) step and are moving into a home in a nearby town (about an hour from my place), due to my Grandpa's failing health, and that is weighing heavily on the family, my mother especially. So perhaps later on, maybe in February, I'll go spend some time down with them when there's no expectation, and we can actually appreciate seeing each other.

Ahhhh... So on to lighter things I suppose!! I did get some great gifts from everyone this year, including a coffee maker with a timer (yeh!!), a breadmaker (mmm, made italian bread last night!), a tripod for my camera (so perhaps images will appear in focus finally), fuzzy slippers, pretty jewelery, neat dvds (including BBC's 'Planet Earth' and a Norah Jones live show cd), and many other thoughtful gifts (like the blanket Becky made for me, with images of my family - myself, Luc, and my various pets sewn onto it)... :) I also have a big bag of dirt, and various pots waiting to be filled with pretty plants - and I set up a little indoor gardening area in the dog room with my pretty mini set of indoor gardening tools... :)

The Planet Earth DVD's are wonderful too - it really makes you realize just how awe-inspiring, beautiful, cruel and harsh the world really is, and how oblivious we are to it. The fact that once upon a time we might have been one of those species of 'animals' just fighting for our lives, picked off daily by some hungry predator who, likewise is just trying to keep itself and its young from going hungry. Every day may have been our last, and there would have been no 'moral' wrong in that. Now we take so much for granted, we are virtually indestructable, and life has become this crazy thing that we "hoard" to the point where we won't even let people who WANT to die die, it's just crazy to think of how there is still a brutal fight for survival going on every minute of every day with almost every other living thing on the planet, besides ourselves. The images are amazing too - and I can't get over the crazy tropical bird species that flip themselves into different wacky looking shapes and dance around. So far, that's been my favorite part.. ;)

Here's a picture of the male bird, who has flipped himself into an incrediblely bizzare shape, and is dancing for a rather uninterested female... ;) The narrator says, as the female walks away 'it's disheartening when one's very best is just not good enough...' ;)

Anyway, I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had signed up for a 12 days of Christmas daily message. Of course, being the 'Kerr' that I am, I am always late but in earnest ;) but late is better than never. So far, I've only had a brief chance to skim the first message before I was called away from the computer. Sooo, I'll post the link here, for anyone who might have some quiet time to themselves, and who might want to take a moment to 'reflect' on their lives. I'll post the next soon.. :) http://www.innerchristmas.com/071.html
Wishing you all a peaceful rest of your holiday...
:) S

2007-12-21T06:49:00.000-08:00

Craziness abounds in my life.. Well, not exactly, but there's a big 'shift' going on right now, and as Luc and I were saying last night, everything is up in the air right now, opportunities are piling up around us, and we really need to give things time to settle before we figure out what our next move in life is...

I spoke with our mortgage broker yesterday, and while our current lender won't work a deal with us to extend the term and/or remortgage the property to release some more moolah for upgrades, there's potentially another lender that is willing to do all that, and sooner, so I have him looking into that for us. The idea would be to try to get some money out of the house now, so we could put Luc on the course he wants to take, as well as pay off some of our debts. However, no sooner did I get off the phone with the mortgage broker, then the real estate agent called. Apparently we have a potentially very interested buyer on our hands. Hmmm.. He's going to see it in early January, and if he likes it, will put in an offer right then and there.
So it begs yet another question - what do we want to do? Keep the house, invest our money (and that of our tenants of course) into making it better, and sell it when we'll make a profit? Or cut our losses now and walk away, at least eliminating any stress that comes along with trying to find tenants and do repairs/maintain the property? Hmmm...
Difficult really to say what will be best... I guess I am going to take the usual Shelley approach and just 'wait and see what happens', knowing that either way, we gain something (either independence and lack of stress, or money)... One thing I DO know, is that the next house we buy should be newer, because while I think 'hey, if we got rid of the apartments, we could put in a new kitchen and refinish the floors in our house (+ another list of things a mile long)' I realize that to me, that is a MAJOR inconvenience, and I believe Luc shares that view as well... So we'll both stall on it until we lose the opportunity to do anything about it.. Hm...

Secondly, my job has taken on much the same feeling as our apartments - it's like I've reached a fork in the road here too, and various possibilities have been presented to me, none with any guarantees, however, and so for now, I wait to see what happens, but either way it will eventually come down to a few key questions that all wittle away to 'money, or peace of mind?' because, I find, despite what the big corporations will tell you (that money buys happiness), money does NOT buy peace of mind, in a lot of ways. Yes, it ensures you no longer have to worry about 'survival' things, but you DO have to worry about a lot of petty, seemingly important, but ultimately draining things in life once you're playing with moolah... At any given time, any one of us could find big dollars, if we're willing to take risks for it - ex: I could become a sub contractor, give up any sense of security in my job, have to take on the marketing for myself, months off would be spent at home, unpaid (and stressing), but I'd make twice what I make now... Conversely, I could go find myself a cushy job in the gov't, doing a job that potentially does have a fairly low 'ceiling' on it (read: the salary stops quite short of where it'd be if I was NOT working for the gov't), with the risk of extreme boredom, but hey, I'd be secure and know that I would always have a job to go to... So that's what I'm weighing now too. Not subcontracting, that's not for me, but either consulting through my agency (which I love, but where I will have to invest a lot of time and hard work to really get anywhere), or taking a step down and finding a gov't job, refocusing myself on other aspects of ma vie... Hmmm... So I wait... :)

Lots of musing about boring things I guess.. Sorry!

2007-12-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, here's a silly dissertation on something that bothers me (I'm giving into my retarded, petty side). I was thinking today that I'd like to go see the Golden Compass (and not just because Daniel Craig is in it!! He really only appeals when he's a pouty, devilish, weapon weilding Bond with gigantic muscles - day to day Daniel just isn't worth talking about... ;) ) But something I noticed today, is why I don't think Nicole Kidman is pretty. You hear it all the time, how she's gorgeous, but I find often when I see her in movies, or just pictures of her, there's something WRONG... I know what it is - I have CRACKED the Not-Pretty-Nicole mystery! It's her HAIR!! (Okay, and her choice of dress colours)...
I noticed that, at the premiere for the Golden Compass, she was there with her hair pulled off her forehead, wearing a cream-coloured gown. She looked, for all intensive purposes, like she was dead, and washing herself out with pale colours (that only serve to accentuate her ivory white skin), further accentuates the fact that her eyebrows are RED, while her hair is platinum. Furthermore, the fact that she tends to have her hair pulled back in a severe pony tail, or swept backwards off her face totally accentuates her rather wide forehead. I don't know why it bugs me, but it does. Don't get me wrong, I'm no beauty (which is why I don't get to stroll down red carpets in x-thousand dollar gowns, but I AM bored, so here, I grabbed some pictures to prove it (because I'm totally wasting time at the moment)..
Image 1: Nicole with yet another pale dress, pale hair, and looking totally washed out...

Image 2: Nicole with red hair - what a difference! Eureka! She looks VIBRANT!

Image 3: Nicole with her bangs pulled severely off her forehead...

Image 4: Ahhh, sweet, feminine bangs, totally softens her sharp features...

Okay, I'm done!! ;) But if I were her, I'd get ahold of my stylist and, well, fire them. ;)

2007-12-18T13:13:00.000-08:00

So, the last week of Advent, and I must admit that I didn't do much at all to formally recognize it. However, for anyone who might be, the focus of the last Sunday of Advent is on the joy you feel at the end of the period of waiting (and the beginning of a couple weeks of celebrating, visiting with family, and eating waaaay too much).
I have decided, because I love Wavery Fitzgerald's writings so much, that I would re-read through each of her weekly thoughts that I used to subscribe to (I saved almost all of them). For this week, her focus was, naturally, on acknowledging the moments of joy in your life. And if you were having a difficult time feeling any 'joy' amid all the crazy preparations for the Christmas holiday, she had suggested that you ask yourself where you find joy in the holidays, and focus on those times. For me, I'd have to say my moments of 'joy' during the holidays are times when I'm with my family (eating!, ha ha), and especially during those quiet moments, like on Christmas Eve, relaxing by the tree with a baileys in one hand, the fire crackling beside you. Of course opening Christmas stockings are always very fun too (reminder to moi: must go get some stocking stuffers!), and getting together with friends on Christmas night (as well as brunch that day with family) are all highlights of my xmas holiday. Typical, I guess, most involve food or drink of some kind. I also love those days at work, when the festive spirit encourages people to stand around, talking, laughing, and sharing (and in our case, usually drinking some forbidden beverage safely hidden inside cans of coke)... And the days when you go in to work, and no one else is there, so you can listen to some music, or enjoy the silence, and just get things done.. :)
Yes, I do love this season, but for some reason this year, I still can't manage to feel Christmassy!! I look around and barely see any xmas lights up (that's my neighbourhood for you - I'm sure Hull is ablaze with gawdy colour again this year - it was always fantastic for that), and my shopping is pretty well done, the last few things just nagging 'I have to pick something up to add to that present!' types of things...
No, I think for me, the joy of this holiday will be the down time, where I can just sit and do absolutely nothing. :) I'm really tired this week!
Anyway, looking ahead to 2008, I'm happy to see that they're predicting a rise in housing prices - by 3.5%! That's good news for Luc and I, who have our house on the market. It also inspired me to contact my mortgage broker, to see about getting our mortgages straightened out. I'm hoping the interest rates will drop, due the the price increase in the housing market, and then I can perhaps switch our personal mortgage to 25 years, and see about switching our apartment's mortgage to 40 years, over the next few months. This, ideally, would free up some $$ monthly to go toward paying for siding and windows (increasing the value again), and we can then write off the interest charges that will be horrendously high on the apartment's mortgage. I'm starting to feel slightly like I'd like to hold onto the apartments still, as in a way, as long as we can have the tenants paying for the big stuff, we can handle the small stuff as we need to... Dunno, it's something to consider. If we kept them for five or ten years, we'd be able to sell them when we were ready to buy (or build) a new house...
Food for thought, and definitely a potential source of 'joy' if we can do this right... :)

2007-12-06T09:44:00.000-08:00

Soooo, it's been almost a month since I've posted on here. There have been various things going on in my life, concerning my career, my family life, and getting ready for Christmas, that I could have written about, however, I had hoped to not make this into a journal, and yet, because of its total lack of purpose, this blog tends to house a lot of personal (and probably boring) thoughts about my life in general. So in an effort to get away from that, I haven't written anything as it would have been me meandering through my days and nights and putting everyone (if anyone reads this) to sleep.. ;)

Anyway, so without further ado, I thought I'd write about Advent. Up until now, I'd been shying away from anything that seemed Christian in origin because of my deep distrust of organized religions, however, I'm finding more and more that there is a lot to be said for learning to appreciate a more structured approach to spirituality and life, without closing the door on nature-based spirituality, and without having to fully embrace the literal 'renditions' of the Bible.. December is such a wonderfully spiritual time of year too, that I want to embrace all parts of it, and not shut anything out. I'm actually going to miss not going to midnight mass this year, as I did last year with my Mom and my sister. We used to do it every year when I was a child, and then my 'departure' from all things 'Churchey' made it so I had about 7 or 8 xmases where we didn't go to an evening mass, but stayed home and gorged ourselves on food and drink... I always missed lighting those tiny white candles and singing Silent Night, followed by the family piling into the car to drive around the town, looking for the house with the most lights on it.. :)

So this year, though I'm starting late, I hope to acknowledge what is left of both the Pagan and Christian Advent calendar... To summarize what Waverly Fitzgerald explains on her school of the seasons site, Pagan Advent begins four Sundays before Winter Solstice, and is a period of waiting for the 'birth of the sun'. Christian Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas and is a similar period of waiting, for the birth of the 'Son'...

From her site:
The period of Advent, which means “to come,” is the period of waiting for the birth of Christ at Christmas, or for the birth of the sun at Winter Solstice. It is a period of anticipation, of looking forward.The main quality of Advent is waiting. If it were a tarot card, it would be the Seven of Pentacles. At this time we are unable to do anything but wait through the growing darkness until we can celebrate the return of the Light. Most Advent customs have to do with marking time: lighting one candle on the Advent wreath each week, opening another door on the Advent calendar. These markers show us in a concrete way how much time has passed and how much time is left before the event we so joyously anticipate.

According to her, one way to celebrate Advent might entail lighting of candles (for Pagans, on an Advent wreath), to mark each Sunday that passes, followed by a time of story-telling and caroling. Story-telling has been passed down through the ages as a way to pass the time in the dark months, while sharing important lessons and bits of history with those close to you. Obviously, during the days when the sun was the only light you had to go by outside, you would find yourself inside together for longer periods, waiting out the darkness. I think I read somewhere as well that the Celts were not even allowed to tell a story until after sundown, and that it was the elders who told the stories, but I might be dreaming that!
Advent calendars are another popular way to pass the time, and range from the little cardboard ones with tiny little chocolates in them that we buy at the dollar store ;) , to more elaborate home-made ones (created by people who are either uber organizers or have WAY too much time on their hands!) that open to reveal inspiring pictures, or ornaments to put on the tree (I liked that idea)... The nativity scene is also used by some people to mark the time, each figurine added around the stable marking another passing day until the Christ child is added to the manger on the 25th. As she says, if you don't find 'Christ' fits with your spirituality, creating any sort of calendar or 'shrine' to the sun would work, even creating 13 ornaments representing the birth of the sun (spirals, mirrors, etc) to hang on your tree.

To make an advent wreath: http://www.schooloftheseasons.com/wreathmaking.html

Another sort of neat thing she suggested was this site: http://www.lynnjericho.com/newsletter1107.html that will send you a special thought to reflect upon over the 12 days of 'Inner Christmas'. The strange thing is it starts December 25 and goes until January 6th. Interestingly enough, the Armenian Apostolic Church, which is one of the most ancient Christian communities, celebrates Christmas on January 6th. You can enter your email address and you'll receive a thought or question each day during that time, for you to meditate on, in order to inspire a sense of 'deep joy' and sense of purpose in the coming year. Why not, right? ;) I want to work on my meditation skills anyway, as it is rumoured to be a miracle healer for stress, worry, doubt, and general mind-clutter that we all suffer from.

I'm still not sure what I will do this year to mark the days of Advent, as I'm feeling slightly scatterbrained and find it difficult to focus on one particular thing long enough to get anything out of it... One neat site I found, which is entirely Christian based, gives you a daily thought, prayer and passage to reflect on each day throughout Advent. http://www.followingthestar.org/

Here's another that explains some of the traditions in different cultures: http://heaintthroughwithmeyet.wordpress.com/2007/12/02/the-advent-wreath-and-why-i-have-one/

No matter which way you choose to celebrate Advent, I wish you all a very happy holiday season - and I hope you find some time to enjoy the peaceful indulgence of waiting! :)

S

2007-11-14T06:57:00.000-08:00

Simpify, simplify, simplify...So, this week so far has been an interesting rollercoaster of a time, and I feel slightly disoriented and not fully 'in control' of really much in my life at the moment. That, coupled with a lack of motivation to do anything work-related, has contributed to me getting absolutely nothing done, and life zipping by at an even faster rate than usual (and that means, FAST)..
I took Monday off, with plans to clean the house, do some baking, cook some food for my dog (called 'Satin Balls', they're a blend of raw hamburger, various grains, molasses, eggs, you name it, designed to make him FAT and his coat glossy... :) ), and then I'd planned to venture into Ottawa to do some xmas shopping, as my limited attempts to do some thus far have resulted in me becoming totally overwhelmed (the crowds are INSANE this year!) and practically running out of the store, with nothing to show for my efforts.
However, at 3:30 pm I was still in my pj's, sitting in a dimly lit room in my basement, with my dog beside me, doing research online for my parents cruise. Yes, I said it, CRUISE!! Woohoo! I am very happy for them, as they will be embarking on a little adventure in early January (which is the cause of much stress at the moment, but I'm sure will be more than worth it in the end). It's called the 'Simpleman Cruise'. They will be sailing out of Miami, FL on a luxury cruise liner (The Imagination) headed for Key West and then to the Calica port in Mexico, before spending a final "Rock Day At Sea". The cruise is put on by Lynyrd Skynyrd, who will be on board to perform two concerts and generally hang out with the crazy fans. 11 other bands will be joining them, including the Georgia Satellites (which is the band that led me to discover this cruise). I have been looking at different itinerary options for each of their stops, and it seems that they will be enjoying gourmet food (all inclusive), concerts and parties at the different stages and bars throughout the ship, relaxing by the pool, touring Key West, and spending a day enjoying the Xcaret Eco Park in Mexico, where they can swim with dolphins, glide down an underground river through caves, and lounge on the white-sand beaches overlooking the crystal blue ocean. Yup, I wish I was going, but I am so much happier that THEY are going - what an opportunity! And every passenger on the ship is cut from the same cloth - no stodgy rich snobs on this ship, it's all beards, bandanas and black t-shirts - my father will blend well.. :) For an idea check this out - look for the 'shark man' as I call him - could be my Dad's best friend... ;-)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN-23DZq_fU
Anyway, so back to my simplifying life, (which seems impossible for me)... After watching my parents' reaction go from super excited to suddenly stressed to the max, I realized that we all tend to pile on so much 'not fun' crap in our lives, that when anything good comes along, we have to stretch ourselves to the point of breaking in an attempt to accomdate the 'joyful' thing because we're so loaded down with the crap. Luc pointed something out to me that kind of made me wonder if perhaps part of the reason why I never feel in control of my life is that there are too many underlying complexities that don't need to be there. When I think back to the Spring, when I finally felt 'together', I remember we lived in a tiny apartment (which we owned), and really did seem to live a lot more 'simply'. I could afford anything I needed, I spent my time cooking and crafting and having friends over to share good food and drinks, and generally was enjoying life. However, then we added complexities to our lives and things have been out of balance ever since.
Recently, we sold the second car, Luc got a job in the city where I also work, and we've listed the apartments for sale. All good things for scaling back the craziness in our lives. But there are little things that are still out of control - which is what Luc brought to light when he asked me 'why do you have so many email addresses - why do you have to make everything so complicated?!' and it's true. I have five email addresses that I use regularly, and two more that aren't used as often but still do exist. I have four bank accounts, three RRSP accounts, a line of credit, credit card and bank loan to manage, along with debts that are in Luc's name that I can't seem to keep track of (and thus have been late paying for), I have fifty thousand little 'projects' buried in boxes in the office, I have half-read books all over the house... I think its all due in part to my lack of organizational skills (hence the need to keep separate bank accounts and email addresses to avoid mixing things together and having to keep closer track of what I'm doing) and as well, my incessant need to always be looking beyond what I have now (hence starting a million new ideas and never finishing them). I was reading an article in a magazine recently, that said you should take each project you have, ask yourself if you would get enjoyment out of completing it, and if it's important to you, and if you can say yes to both those things, set a timeframe to get it done in. If you can't commit to the timeline, donate the project to someone who will or throw it out. Eeek... That would mean a lot of things get thrown out or I'd actually have to start sticking to a schedule. But maybe that's the key. I find I flounder around, wasting time, and when I finally get time to do something, I'm so stressed and exhausted by worrying about everything that I just crash and waste MORE time... A vicious cycle.So I'm starting a new 'thing'. January is my 'start nothing new', dark month.. December will be my celebratory month (of course), and November will be my purge month. That way, I can spend November purging, December living it up because I have a lighter load to carry and tons of fun activities to occupy my time, and January I'll have my calm, quiet month where I decide what new things I want to start taking on again in Feb... Wish me luck!! :)
S

2007-11-01T12:03:00.000-07:00

Ooooh, this picture is essentially a 'snapshot' of what is sitting in a pretty green shopping bag next to my chair right now. :) I went to a store, hidden in an old brick house in the Glebe today (called knit-knackers for anyone who cares), and bought my first real 'skein' of wool... (Up to this point, I've been making scarves for myself using mostly acryllic wool from Walmart, he he). I'm planning to make a good friend of mine a really pretty, really soft scarf, but we'll see how it goes, I'm a little nervous that I won't make it look the way I want it to (I'm a beginner, after all!)... I've been taking it out and holding it every now and then because I'm neurotic and I like the way it feels so soft and squishy. It's "Kettle Dyed Pure Merino Wool" from Uruguay... Fun! :)

2007-10-31T17:37:00.000-07:00

Samhain... :)

Celebrated on October 31, Halloween (also known as Samhain), is the Witches' New Year's Eve [this is taken from a Wiccan book - it's also the Celtic New Year!] and third harvest. It is a time to play with our shadow selves and sit in the woods between the worlds of light and darkness, knowing all things are possible. Nature is recessing into the quiet barrenness of winter. It is a season to acknowledge that both light and darkness are necessary to our growth. Remember departed loved ones and their gifts, harvest strength, trust the mirror reflecting your light, salute health, believe in enchantment, and tell stories as the veil between the mundane and magickal worlds is at its thinnest. Symbols of the holiday are pumpkins, skeletons, marigolds, fall leaves, pomegranates, and witch hats. Herbs and other plants associated with this sabbat include apple, broom, milk thistle, mint, mullein, nutmeg, oak, sage and wormwood.

Well, I have to say, for our Samhain, it wasn't the kind of day that really got me thinking all sorts of eerie, spooky thoughts. It was a bright, sunshiny day, plus 16, and beautiful outside. I ended up missing the bus home and didn't get home until after 6:00, but it wasn't too late to hand out a few treats to the 20 or so kids we got. I just closed the lights and hid the pumpkins as the older crowds are now coming to the door, and the last ones were eyeing our 'masterpieces'... Come to think of it, I didn't even take pictures of our pumpkins this year! Luc made a great one, sewing the eyes and mouth with gardening twine, to look like a kind of Texas Chainsaw Massacre doll head.. Pretty freaky.

We had a good Halloween gathering on the weekend though, just a small group of us got together, but we all got dressed up and had a little too much fun with the camera.. ;0) The picture above is of our Halloween feast, complete with a "brain" (shrimp), spiders, worms in dirt (candy worms in oreo cookie crumbs), and roasted pumpkin seeds. We served our guests a nice desert of cat poop to finish it off... :)

Even 'Jiggs' got in on the fun. :)

Anyway, tonight I wish I could have a bit of time to 'ring in' the "mini new year". However, I'm stalling because I have to get through a horrendous pile of work first. Ick.

While I do still celebrate the New Year on January first as my main 'starting over point' (as we basically celebrate the end of the year with xmas and New Years parties, going out with a 'bang' and then starts my 'quiet month' where I'm not allowed to start anything new), I do still like to acknowledge the 'change' I feel at Halloween. Last night, Tigger and I were walking through the neighbourhood, and it was like my whole 'being' just took a great big siiiiigh.. The air was still, the trees were dark and still, everything had a slightly surreal peacefulness hanging over it, that seemed to just slow down whatever crazy ticking time-keeper is always driving me mad inside. It was really nice and I thought to myself 'thank goodness we're finally in a resting period'. Not that we actually are, but there's something in the stillness that I find so calming.

Our lives are anything but calm at the moment, but it's a good busy, not a stressful busy. Luc just accepted a new job in Ottawa, which he's busy studying for, so that marks a rather large change in our lives. He's going from the job he got out of college, in the tiny town of Shawville, to a job in a mid-sized, faster-paced international company based in the city. It will hopefully offer him rewarding challenges, better benefits, and he'll be closer to home (though with the traffic, the commuting time doesn't actually lessen very much!). So we're pretty excited about that, though I know he'll be sad to leave where he works now, and they'll miss him a lot.

We also sold the car, last Thursday, which happened in the blink of an eye (after about 8 months of waiting). So far, it hasn't had a negative impact on us having one car again, so hopefully we'll be able to make it through to next Spring and get some of our debts paid off. My poor cavalier can't keep being treated like an suv for much longer - she hauled two bales of straw home on Monday night, which was quite the 'endeavour' (for the car, and for ME!)

I'm already turning my attention to the xmas 'season'.. Sick eh? ;) I bought a present for my sister the other day. I can't wait to dress up the house for it. We have a million other things we have to do first, but it's fun to think of where I'll put the tree. :)

Anyway, guess I better go get this work done, so I still have a job!

Happy Halloween everyone - enjoy your evenings, be safe, and remember to take some time out to reflect on your year, what you 'harvested' and revel in the glory of having a quiet moment to take it all in before the craziness starts again. :)

S

2007-10-22T09:28:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I've posted, as there hasn't been much to say, really. I've been playing 'catch-up' with life, and am still picking up loose ends, but at least it's a bit more calm now...

I have found, of late, that I've stumbled across some fascinating blogs that are really, truly worth a look (when you're not supposed to be working - they're addictive!)... One is Pruned - http://pruned.blogspot.com/ (which is where this picture was borrowed from)... For someone like moi, who is not very good with geography, geology, or understanding anything that is going on around the world (I chalk it up to selfish oblivion :) ), this blog is packed with interesting tidbits of the weird, awe-inspiring, or thought-provoking things going on around the planet(s) (they have a story on Mars with photos as well). The author seems to have more than enough knowledge to make insightful commentary on just about anything going on, from the 'uncovering' of Greenland (thanks to Global Warming) and its economical possibilities, to the most stunning architectural endeavours recently created by humans, working WITH nature, that will either leave you breathless, or dead, to idiots who dump red paint in ancient fountains to protest miniscule issues surrounding the film festival. Actually, I found this site originally because I'd done a google image search on Hong Kong's 'The Arch' development, where an apartment just sold for a whopping $14 million (over that actually). I ended up clicking on an image called 'the Escalators of Hong Kong' or something like that (I get distracted easily) and was taken into an unrelated story in this blog, where it was reviewing a book that was written on a major hurricane in 1900, after which, the surviving population built a wall and raised all their buildings up on stilts by HAND to protect against another one. That led me to looking through the articles posted, and honestly you can waste quite a bit of time reading it. :)
Anyway, so there's my pitch for someone's blog that is actually interesting... ;) I wish I could write something like what this person has, however it would take WAY too much time and I'd actually have to find a topic worth writing about that I actually KNOW something about. So instead, I stick to my ramblings about my life, sorry guys.. ;)

2007-10-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm... I really don't have any purpose for blogging at the moment. I am just really fidgety. I have work to do, which I've been picking away at, but it is very very hard to stay focused on it (it's very very boring work)...

Sigh...

I find myself making lists again. Lists of jobs I want but never will get, projects to do (both fun and not) that I never seem to have time or energy for, and things I want but can't afford - xmas gifts for people, bales of straw for Tigger, wool to make scarves, mitts, maybe some cuter projects like bags and things, a holly tree because I promised myself I'd get one for our yard, curtains and/or blinds for the living room windows because we currently are living in a fishbowl, cute rainboots, a new, longer Fall jacket, stockings and socks to wear in my dressier shoes because bare feet are too cold, new glasses because I wouldn't mind having a pair to give my eyes a break from the constant half-blindness of contacts.. No shopping for me!! Nope, our budget is stretched tightly over the small mountain of debt we have.

Oh well... I find the worst thing is that, where I was finally starting to feel like I knew who I was months and months ago, for some reason, something huge shifted and I find myself staring at a girl I don't even know. And the more I realize who I am, for some reason, the more depressed I become...

Blah...

Whining...

Enough...

S

2007-10-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well, back at work (and not working - so I'll try to keep this short and sweet) after a long weekend (was it really a long one?? Didn't feel like it!!)
:) We had serious reason to celebrate, however... After a final four or five hour stint at the apartment on Friday evening, followed by a clean-up on Saturday morning, we happily handed over the keys to the new tenants, who oooh'd and aaaah'd (okay maybe not quite, but they were impressed) at how it looked. That joyous moment marked the start of a new freedom for us and we are both SO HAPPY that it's over. :) I then went and picked up Pru, my sister's GSD, to babysit her until Monday, which was fun, as she and Tigger kept each other amused all weekend. :)
Sunday was spent with me running errands (five stores later, I decided to call it quits and go home, only to get a phone call half-way home from my frantic mother who had just added two more guests to our thanksgiving dinner invitees)... So I unloaded the car (which involved plunking various grocery bags infront of the door and ringing the doorbell repeatedly, to summon Luc who was trying to sleep, while holding the cell phone glued to my ear while my Mom yacked and my neighbour mowed his lawn right next to me, while dodging the turkey that escaped its bag and was rolling down the driveway and onto his grass)....
By now, Luc was finally up (he was napping) and went outside to clean up the yard, which I later ruined because I removed two small trees that had been bothering me, but wasn't strong enough to pull up the stumps, so now there are leaves, small branches, and holes in the lawn that he'd cleaned up... ;) Finally, I settled in to do my baking - two pumpkin pies, two apple crumb pies, and a pumpkin cheesecake loaf (which was a HIT at dinner)... I finally made it to bed at 11:00 pm and was up again at 8:30 to put turkey #1 into the over (we cooked two).
Anyway, all in all, we had a very nice visit with various relatives, and everyone left well-fed and showering the cook with praise (yay! I didn't burn anything!!). We won't mention the squash that wasn't ready and didn't get eaten or the brussel sprouts that are still in the freezer.. ;)

Anyway, I do love Thanksgiving and this time we had a lot to be thankful for (mostly to do with the apartment)... ;) That being said, I'm a little glad that it's over as it marked the end of an insane six (or more) months for us. Yes, we still have things to do at the apartments, and our own house has been sadly neglected, but that's all things we can chip away at slowly.

Now I can start looking forward to Halloween and Christmas... Yes, Christmas. We did the family gift draw and now I can start focussing on what I want to buy for everyone (because of necessary budget 'constraints' I want to get it done EARLY this year)... I'm also starting to get the hang of this knitting business (wore one of my scarves to work today) and discovered that I have the wrong wool for what I want to make. So hopefully I'll be able to hunt down some nicer stuff over the next little while and start making some neat gifts for people.. (Maybe). ;)

Well, gotta get back to work. If you're bored and broke, here's a blog I enjoy reading - stumbled upon it the other day. It's great common-sense and she's got a writing style that makes her posts very enjoyable to read: http://budgetingbabe.blogspot.com/

xo

2007-09-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this blog is going to turn into to '101 great ways to get fat' but anyway.... This is a picture of the pumpkin loaf I made this evening. Mmmm...

Layered Pumpkin Loaf

Ingredients:

1 cup canned pumpkin

1 cup plus 2 tbsp granulated sugar

1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar

4 egg whites, divided

1/2 cup skim milk

1/4 cup canola oil

2 cups flour

2 1/2 tsp magic baking powder

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice*

1/4 tsp salt

1 pkg cream cheese, softened

* 1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp ginger

1/4 tsp cloves

Preheat oven to 350 degrees farenheit. Grease a non-stick 9x5 inch loaf pan; set aside. Mix pumpkin, 1 cup granulated sugar, the brown sugar, 3 of the eggs whites, milk and oil in a large bowl. Add flour, baking powder, pie spice and salt; stir just until moistened. Set aside. Beat cream cheese spread, remaining 2 tbsp granulated sugar and the remaining egg white with wire whisk until well blended.

Spoon half of the pumpkin batter into prepared pan; spoon cream cheese mixture evenly over the batter. Cover with remaining pumpkin batter.

Bake 1 hour to 1 hour 5 minutes or until wooden toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Run knife around edges to loosen. Cool in pan wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove break from pan to cool completely.

To store: Wrap cooled bread in foil or plastic wrap. Store in fridge for up to 4 days.

2007-09-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my favorite time of year!!!

Mabon:

"Celebrated between September 20 and 22, Mabon or autumn equinox is the second day when daylight and darkness are equal, creating a mirror for you to look into as you seek balance and acceptance, weighing the bounty of your personal harvest gained through life's experience. It is a time to honor and separate your truth from your physical experience. This acknowledgement sanctifies the people, events and experiences impacting your being and your journey, without getting caught up in how life should look. It is a time once again to balance the light and the dark. Mabon is the second harvest of the year and [a day] of giving thanks. Simplify your life and rid yourself of unnecessary activity and clutter, in preparation for the silence of the darker months. Donate what you don't need. Clear the disorder of your mind and learn to sit with the quiet of the soul. Without rushing around, you will need to make peace with your shadow, which will help you release a bit more of the mask you show to the outer world and [lessen your] reliance on appearances. Give thanks and harvest what is helpful."

Whew, so that was a longer one (to type anyway!) but such a great one. I got up this morning, hit snooze a few times, and finally hit the road at about 9:00 am, to go spend the day painting at the apartment. It was a beautiful drive, which put me in a nice, calm mood. It's amazing how the reds are coming out this year - everything from firey orange, to scarlet reds, to deep purples are appearing on the tips of the leaves. This Fall is going to be a great one, unlike last year's where the trees turned yellow and the leaves fell off almost immediately. And they're turning quickly now. When I emerged from the apartment, at about 5:00 pm, and drove home, I noticed the striking difference between the morning (where there were patches of red here and there amid the green leaves (with the exception of one gorgeous display of sumaks along the highway that were completely blazing orange and red)) and the evening where now, interspersed between the red was a deep golden colour. Even tonight, as we were walking through the park in the dark, the moon was out, and Luc said 'strange, the moon is overhead, yet the sun is still shining on the tops of those trees' - it totally LOOKED like the setting sun was reflecting on the tree tops, but it was actually the orange leaves - very cool! I'll have to try to get a picture of it tomorrow. I'm also hoping to maybe get a burning bush for the yard eventually, as I saw the neighbours have one and it's beeeautiful right now... :)

Anyway, so my first day of Fall was spent mostly holed up in our apartment, painting away, and also performing the semi-painful task of meeting with the real estate agent to get it listed on the market. :( I promised the house and myself (yes I'm crazy) that I wouldn't sell it, and here I am, doing just that... But when I got home, I noticed the bathroom here is starting to look 'saggy', moldy and neglected, the kitchen is filthy and begging to be redone, and well, there are many things here that need to be done, and we never have the time, energy or money because we're constantly worrying about that other house. So hopefully cutting back this gigantic piece of 'clutter' from my life will help to realign us with what we want in life and we'll be able to enjoy ourselves just a little bit more!! :)

Anyway, I'm going to go eat some apple pie and vanilla icecream (excuse: the apple is a symbol of autumn equinox... ;) ) Hope if anyone is reading this, that they take the opportunity to embrace this time of year and go pick some apples (make a pie!), design an autumn wreath, take pics of the trees, or just take a walk outside in the crisp air and ENJOY the first days of Fall!!!

2007-09-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

So I attended my first-ever book launch last night for a book of poetry titled 'Two Hemispheres' by Nadine McInnis. In it, she features 10 photographs taken in the 1850's at a prominent asylum in England. The portraits have no names, no history, no diagnosis, just the images, and through the course of a year, she studied each one and thoughtfully devised a story for each, which she captures in a poem.

I was struck by one of her poems last night, ( at least in the way I interpreted it) that seemed to suggest that 'insanity' or mental instability as we know it, is thought of as the brain not being able to keep up to society's fast-paced demands, and thus it is a defective brain - but, in actual fact, the brain itself, an organ that 'exploded', evolving in a tremendously short period of time from a flight or fight response system to a complex logical processor capable of handling all the abstract challenges of today's world, sometimes becomes frustrated, as the flight or fight instincts have not disappeared, and are now firing at random as we drone on in an unstimulating world of 'bus walls' and computer screens.
It hit me that perhaps, the problem truly isn't that people need therapy, drugs, holistic approaches, support groups, etc to cope with this life, but instead, further reinforced the idea that our brains just cannot deal with all the meaningless, insignificant crap that surrounds us. It made me remember a book (which for the record, at the time, I didn't like, but suddenly have gained an appreciation for - the subject anyway). Farenheit 451 - by Ray Bradbury, written back in the fifties, when radio was threatening to diminish the joy of learning and thinking for oneself and television was on the horizon to destroy it. It's interesting that, in high school, we were taught that the premise of the book really was to bring to light how governments use extreme censorship and 'brainwashing' of society as a whole, to keep people docile and maleable. In reality, as I see it now, his book was a fortelling of the future, like none other I've seen, and it's scary... He was interviewed by the LA Times (http://www.laweekly.com/news/news/ray-bradbury-fahrenheit-451-misinterpreted/16524/) and explained that he's often angered when people try to tell him that his book was about government manipulation and censorship. Instead, he explains it was about, 'how television destroys interest in reading literature...' His fear, at the time, was that radio's constant barrage of information, noise and distraction was making it difficult for anyone to sit down and truly focus on a book, delving deeply into a subject. That, to me, is exactly why I have encountered whole books dedicated to 'Scanners' (people who cannot specialize in any one thing and instead learn to thrive on jumping from one thing to the next in life), as the age of the 'specialist' is dead and gone, which you can see evidence of in art, science, careers and even family life.
Anyway, to get back to my point, I was thinking of the people close to me (and though never formally 'treated', I'd include myself in this group), who have had to deal with some sort of mental/emotional issues that have resulted in their not having the ability to cope with today's world. These people (and they really are the majority in society now) rely on expensive therapy sessions, cocktails of pills, fad diets, and shows like Dr. Phil, to attempt to twist their exhausted minds to fit with the rest of our crazy, apathetic, zoned out society. That's when it hit me that we really are like the people in Farenheit 451. It's to the point now where you might feel 'stressed' and the first piece of advice you'll get is to run to the doctor to pop the latest pill... Kind of reminds me of the way they used to throw harmless people, who perhaps had hormonal imbalances, or who were suffering from depression into mental institutions where they only served to go mad as a result of being surrounded by people who were constantly telling them 'you're crazy'... Anyway, in the book, which takes place in a futuristic America, people are taught that books are bad, and firemen exist solely to locate books and burn them. The interesting parallel though, comes with how people live. They are taught that reading, thinking, appreciating nature and each other, is of little to no importance, and actually should be avoided. To do this, they pop pills to numb their minds, stare at wall-sized televisions all day, prefering their shows over the company of their friends and family, speak apathetically and superficially about an impending war, as though it was just something on TV, and not people's lives at stake - the TV basically becomes their lives, and the people on it their families and they stay 'plugged in' to the network of useless information and distracting 'factoids' via tiny 'sea shell ear buds' all day so as to keep their doped up state of false happiness going at all times. Now, if that doesn't sound like us, I don't know what does! Just in my own home, Luc and I own multiple mp3 players, radios, televisions (including a 50" flat screen), XBoxes and internet access from anywhere in the house (via laptop or our PC), and we're probably considered one of the lesser set-up families! The scary part is that I have found in the past few years, I've felt more comfortable and safe spending my evenings watching television or surfing the web, and will almost always choose to send an e-mail or post a message to facebook to avoid having to actually talk to anyone on the phone (let alone face to face!). Friends let me down, people hurt my feelings, and in my 21st century self-indulgent way, I draw further into myself, pop my earphones in so I don't have to make small talk at the bus shelter, avoid going out when I can just stay home and watch a movie, all the while it is a rare occurence where I might actually pick up one of 25 paint brushes that I own, and attempt to put something onto a canvas, though I've been catering to that side more and more lately.
Anyway, I'm sure that nowadays, people are recognizing more and more that his book really does draw some significant parallels to what our society has become. So the question is, do we stand up for ourselves and try to loosen the grip that the 'evil machine' has on us, or do we pop another pill and go catch an episode of 'Big Brother' and forget all about it? Makes me wonder, it really does. I'm not a 'tree hugging hippy', nor am I a die-hard green-peace environmentalist, and I too get caught up in the belief that those people are just attention hogging, mindless extremist hypocrites who really need to 'relax', but it does give me a sense of hope that perhaps we are in the midst of a slow 180, with all the increased interest in initiatives to 'slow time', 'recapture a love of nature', 'living simply', 'putting family first', finding religions that align more closely to an enhanced awareness of the Earth we live on and the complex relationships between everything one and everything on this planet... Maybe... I know one thing, I had a goal at one time to read one book a month. Not just fiction, but anything - if something captures my interest, I'd read it. I think I need to set a new goal for myself - I must go get a library card!! (But first, I have to find the library!).
Anyway, food for thought... I just think it's neat to see how we still do have those surprising and unlikely 'prophets' (and not in a religious sense) among us, it just takes us too long to realize it!
S

2007-09-20T06:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on here in a long time, and for good reason - I've been swamped with 'things to worry about' and 'things to do', which seems to be the norm in my new life as a suburbanite with two apartments and a 'budding career'...

That being said, at least the Fall has finally started to decend upon us and I find that every day I'm faced with something beautiful that helps me to appreciate the 'bigger things' in life (beyond all the little things that stress me out). The leaves on the trees have started to turn, so every now and then, in the midst of all the green, you see a brilliant scarlet and gold tree that, to me, is truly heart-warming. I adore the Fall colours. :) Last weekend, I was taken by a 'fit of inspiration' and despite the fact I was battling a horrible cold, I managed to take what was left of the apples and make two pies, once which I fed to the boys and the other I froze. It is a recipe my Mom has made often for us, combining the best of both the apple crisp and apple pie worlds (it's a pie with a crumb top). I was happy to see they both turned out well (if anyone ever sees how I roll out dough, that'll be the end of my pie-making days, let's just say it usually involves lots of wax paper, a rolling pin, way too much flour, various heavy objects in the kitchen, and a few curse words).
Anyway, I plan to bake a pumpkin/cheese cake loaf this weekend to celebrate the first day of Fall, and I'm hoping to get out to the local farmer's market for the FIRST TIME this year, to buy some seasonal produce that I can use to make another batch of cabbage soup (mmmm so good). I am sad that I haven't been able to go to my parents' farm, where they have a litter of 6 week old puppies to play with, however it's been a really tough few months and we're still ploughing through the tough stuff to hopefully get to a place where we can relax and actually have SPARE TIME in which to ask ourselves 'gee, what do we feel like doing?' instead of running in eight different directions to get things done. I have to paint the apartment, starting this weekend, which will be a project that spans over the next two weeks (primer has to dry, coats of paint have to dry, not to mention the taping that has to go on first, which is my least favorite job).

We finally got the contractor to show up (not a great sign that it took him TWO weeks to actually come in and give us an estimate, and due to a poor communication between him and my significant other, I was stuck there yesterday morning, waiting for two and a half hours, and he never showed up). I do have some false sense of hope that he might be able to get the work done before our tenants come in, as he did say it would only take three days to fix the drywall, put up tub-surround, put in a new window (with the possibility of making it smaller which would be good) and if there wasn't one in stock, just getting rid of it altogether (I don't mind!), and installing a fan. Then all I have to do is slop some oil-based paint on there and away we go.

We were talking to him about owning a rental unit, and he was telling us that he used to do that but sold them. I hear that from a lot of people. Up until now, we've been fairly blessed that our tenants haven't destroyed the property in any way, or left with 'doors, curtains, lightbulbs and anything else that wasn't nailed down' as the contractor was telling us his tenants frequently did. However, the amount of stress that is coming between Luc and I (me screaming, yelling, planning, setting expectations, managing the money, nagging, and crying and him trying his best to get things done but generally overlooking the little things that ultimately come back to bite us in the ass and then having to deal with my nagging, etc) and I don't think it's worth it anymore. Sure, it's a great investment, however I was thinking yesterday of where I truly want to be, and it's totally not where we are.

I think that if we were to unload the apartments and just concentrate on upgrading our own house (new floors, new front and back doors, some painting and decorating, new kitchen), we could make a decent enough profit on it in five years or so, and then go move south of Ottawa somewhere, in a smaller community, where I might be able to find a charming older home with old barns, a couple acres, and expansive 'pastoral views' to greet me everyday. When I think about places we've lived, like New Lowell and Qu'Appelle - small towns, where 'everyone knows everyone', one thing I miss is the sense of all being in it together. Sure there's the gossip, the neighbourly fights, the 'outsiders syndrome' that I know all too well, but there are also dinner theatres, country fairs, home-town hockey games, community dances and parties, things to bring you together with your neighbours to socialize! And then there's the dream I have of owning a home with something like this:

where I could have a pottery room, painting loft, maybe a few chickens, etc. and really feed my artsy side in a more inspiring setting. :)

Last but not least, I don't like the idea of our children growing up in the city. Kids will be kids and they'll find less than desirable things to do to keep themselves entertained, but there's a big difference between rolling hay bales onto people's front yards for a joke and hanging out at the local crack house somewhere in the city.
Anyway, back to reality here... So tonight I'm 'treating' myself with a trip to the Nicholas Hoare Books bookstore, with my brother (who invited me), to attend a 'book launch' by one of his professors. I was very honoured that he thought to invite me as he figured I'd be interested in checking out what exactly a book launch is like, as both he and I have never been to one. So that'll be fun! I was sad to hear that Diana Gabaldon was in Ottawa last night, and one of Luc's coworkers had an extra ticket, but it was mentioned at dinner, half-way through an argument of sorts and I didn't pursue it. Oh well, I do love her books but I had no idea what she was there to speak about. Will have to google it later!
Anyway, better get to work now... S

2007-09-10T08:49:00.001-07:00

Well, I must say, I do feel very relaxed and happy today (which is rare and even more surprising than usual as it's MONDAY). I think it's due in large part to the fact I had a wonderful weekend, which, though we did have some errand-running to do, largely consisted of watching movies (including an old favorite: My Best Friend's Wedding), starting (and restarting for a total of five times) to knit a scarf for the fall, walks around the neighbourhood with my poochie, and spending a few long, glorious hours in the backyard with him in the sunshine, while I cleaned out my garden area (bundling sticks and bagging weeds). I even managed to paint his doghouse (a nice shade of blue) which I'm hoping to finish off with a white trim, and made a sign (picture to follow) for the door of his run, which I decorated with gawdy plastic fall flowers courtesy of the Dollar Store. (He loves it, I'm sure.. ;) )

Anyway, for the most part, things were great, that is until I was chatting casually on the phone to my Dad, who was recounting moments of his youth (which consisted mainly of whipping various types of berries at his siblings :) ). This led to me eating a berry off my tree (which at the time I still didn't know the species of). Then a continued conversation with my mother, where we discussed the 'wild grapes' growing along the fence, where I again 'tasted' a berry, before deciding that 'these grapes must be the wine type because they taste horrible'... Yes, horrible indeed. It would appear that I ingested poisonous Elderberry (which is only edible if cooked), and even more poisonous Virginia Creeper berry (which is so stupid as I KNOW what virginia creeper looks like, it's just the first time I've seen it grow such nice plump blue berries like that!)Shortly after tasting the VC berry, my tongue and lips began to sting, at first just mildly, like I had perhaps eaten a thistle (or like if you get the fuzz from a kiwi in your mouth). It progressed quickly into more of a burning sensation, like hot sauce, but without the taste to it. Gradually, a headache started, which, after I had gone to sleep, developed into a WICKED, head-pounding, face/neck/jaw pain type of headache, like none I've ever had before (I had to replace my normal pillow which is 'firm' with a really fluffy one because my head was so sore), and then finally tapering off with a milder headache and some light nausea (didn't throw up though) at around 5:00 am. Sooo, without further ado, if you're ever so inclined to eat the weeds in your backyard, think again. I had always known that many plants we have in our house and yard are poisonous, but after researching it, I realized that MOST plants we have around are poisonous (though some can become edible once cooked), and it doesn't take much more than tasting the juice from a berry to bring on a very uncomfortable evening. Had I eaten a handful, I'd be in the ER right now as VC berries in particular can cause death. Even things like rhubarb leaves (deadly), and potato flowers/berries (didn't know they produced berries but apparently they do), can cause death... If you're curious about what's in your yard, google 'poisonous plants and berries' and check out the many sites available. It's good to know (especially if you have kids!) as some don't even have symptoms and will quite suddenly lead to death (freaky).
In my yard: (And this is by far not all of them):

1. The vine on the fence is Virginia Creeper (which I knew but disregarded at the time) - the leaves are thin, jagged edged leaves (in groups of five) that are turn red in the Fall). The berries (which resemble small clusters of dark blue grapes) have been known to cause death, if eaten in mass quantities, and can irritate (cause vomiting, and/or irritated bowel, rashes and skin irritation (which I think was the stinging on my lips and tongue) and a variety of other symptoms, including headache, which I suffered from). Luckily, I didn’t eat the berries, I just split one open and licked the syrup stuff coming out of it… THAT was enough to make my mouth sting for about an hour and give me a partly sleepless night…

2. The vines that grow purple flowers with red berries that I transplanted from our apartment (and that grow all over Aylmer, including all along the fence in the backyard) may actually be the plant ‘Deadly Nightshade’, whose berries are EXTREMELY poisonous (especially when they're still green)… I’ll have to check to see if the berries on mine are turning black or not, as DN's berries go from green to red to black – it may not be the same thing – but I’ve photographed it numerous times in the woods – now at least I know what it is!.

3. The tree by the deck, which again has serrated edged leaves, and grows white flowers all throughout the spring and into summer, that are replaced by purply-red (appetizing looking) berries is an Elderberry. I took one berry, chewed it, then spit it out. Again, all parts of the tree, including the berries are poisonous, causing nausea and digestive upset. However, if you cook the berries, they’re apparently very popular for medicinal purposes, and make a good jam, pie and/or wine.

Yeh me… ;)
While I'm on the topic of poisoning oneself, another thing to mention is the recent discovery that both grapes and raisins are highly toxic to your canine friends... (Which is scary considering how many times I shared a grape or two (or three or four) with Shadow...) Apparently, up until recently, people used raisins as rewards in training, if you're one of them, give that habit up immediately!!!

2007-08-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

On my bus route, there is a 'grand' old house with a large yard that is for sale. I was curious and looked it up online - it's going for $300,000. Gotta love Gatineau - in Ottawa it'd be at LEAST $600,000...
Anyway, on my way through the hundreds of listings to find this house, I saw many very nice houses - and started to feel depressed. ;) That's why I don't 'window shop' for anything. If I can't have it, I get sad. Anyway, I started to think of things that I liked about those houses, and wondered if there were ways that I could achieve the same feel in our own home. I came up with a surprising list of things we can do to really make it look snazzy. Each room needs some small thing, such as: Downstairs:- Dog room: needs a railing (right now the stairs into it from the basement are 'open';- Rec Room: needs shelving, a coffee table, a proper tv stand and perhaps cream coloured tightly woven carpet, along with a fresh coat of 'cream' and a dark navy/green colour on the walls, plus a new light (the one we have is horrible - it's MADE to look filthy);- Bathroom: Well, it needs a new tub, but we're not getting into that, so a nice new shower head, light fixture and maybe have the shelving put up on the wall (instead of resting on the back of the toilet);- Office: Paint the walls the deep tan and burgundy we picked out and hang the burgundy shelving we have for our books - new blinds would be nice too;- Spare bedroom: Add a futon, put the smaller tv stand in the corner with the tv and dvd player, put weights, yoga stuff and exercise videos in there with some pretty plants and voila!;
Upstairs:- Front entryway: tile the floor, remove carpet from stairs and refinish the wood, new solid wood front door (wide one) with french type windows;- Living room: hang up pictures that are currently leaning on the wall and perhaps paint a cool picture to go above the couch on the long wall. Buy some wooden venetians for the bay window (for the winter time especially!);- Dining Room/Kitchen: Ceramic tile on the floor, new counter tops, knock out wall between dining/kitchen and replace with an island, recessed pot lights over the sink (new faucet), those cute lights on the long stems over the island, cupboards with glass fronts on upper cabinets, French-style 'terrace' door leading onto deck;- Bedroom: (simple!) Shutter style closet doors (white);- Floor throughout: refinish the hardwood a medium warm tone;
Not all of it is expensive, you can find a lot on usedottawa and kijiji nowadays (I've already contacted a few people who are selling odds and ends after renos). So we'll see. I know it'll be a long process (I'm thinking hopefully over the next five years we'll tackle most of it), but I'm hoping that with time, patience, and a little imagination we can create a charming, inviting space to live and entertain in. :)

2007-08-13T11:11:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was an interesting one, and in many ways, restful (which I needed). Physically, I was constantly working on one thing or another, but mentally, I clocked out and and just enjoyed my days and nights. I spent Saturday afternoon in the backyard with Tigger, cleaning out and organizing the shed (Luc surprised us part-way through with icecream cones which was very sweet as it was EXTREMELY hot out!!) Then Saturday evening, we went on a date, which we haven't done in a looong time. We drove down by the marina in Aylmer and decided to try out a little bistro with a patio (though we ended up sitting inside as it was too full). The atmosphere was very calm and 'artsy', the music was good, and the service, for the most part was good. I had the grilled tuna steak with dill sauce (not as good as when Luc makes it, I have to say), and Luc had a big steak topped with risotto cheese (which is very 'aromatic' - to say the least). ;) Anyway, after we finished up there, we headed into the New Edinburg neighbourhood in Ottawa, to attend the Lumiere Festival. It was very cool. Here are some pictures:

It was just as I imagined it to be, pathways lit with glowing paper lanterns, paper maché sculptures, and crowded with people of every age. There were musicians, dancers, fire show people, people on stilts (they scare me), and women dressed as fairies who would flit around through the bushes, with candles in their hands, stopping every so often to do some sort of choreographed 'candle-dance' which was interesting (I have to admit, I wanted to be one - they were so beautiful in their white gowns and big white fluttery wings!! Totally engaged my 'dressup' side! :) )
Anyway, once we'd done the rounds, we met up with some friends for a drink at a pub in the market area, and then headed home. Sunday was more of the same - I ran errands, cleaned up the office (it's starting to look like a very spacious, inviting office and painting room). :) We still need to take down the baby wall-border and paint it, but for now it looks a million times better just having had the boxes unpacked or stored in the closet, and a tropical tree added (sale at Zellers, woohoo!).
I got Waverly's latest newsletter today (School of the Seasons) and, as always, enjoyed reading it immensely. Everything she talks about always has an odd way of coinciding with something going on in my life. Even simple things like, a few weeks back, I was sitting waiting for the bus, when a huge (the biggest I've ever seen) black crow swooped down and stood beside me. He was absolutely beautiful (and thankfully didn't 'squawk' at me). Watching him, I realized how interesting those birds are, and I did a little research on them the next day. They're highly intellegent birds, and they have some 'endearing' qualities too like their love for shiny objects (I can understand totally, ha ha). Anyway, so last night I was walking along the side of the soccer field near my place with Tigger, and a big black crow was picking cheese off a McDonalds wrapper on the ground. I expected him to fly away (Tigger has a fascination with birds and I'm always afraid he'll catch one in his mouth like my Dad's dog used to do). Anyway, he didn't fly away until he'd neatly torn the corner of paper off that contained the cheese he wanted, and then he picked it up and flew it into the field where he landed and continued to pick at the cheese. Quite remarkable if you think about it. So back to Waverly, she mentioned crows (and her love of them) in her newsletter, and recommended the following book, which she is currently reading: Song of the Crow by Layne Maheu, Unbridled Press 2006
Maybe I'll give it a try when I'm done my Irish ghost stories book. ;)

Another thing she discussed was how the seasons are divided in our calendar and how many people choose to mark the seasons themselves (in order to align them more closely with what is actually happening outside). I find that our seasons in Canada are actually pretty well marked, but I did notice things like, in February, Waverly (who lives in Washingon) was talking about walking through the neighbourhood which was filled with spring flowers and warm spring breezes while I was huddled in my back office with the space heater on, counting the days until the snow would melt, which wasn't for another two months. Anyway, she mentioned in her newsletter, that long ago, they used to say that August 2 (around Lammas) was the first day of Autumn. She divides Autumn into two parts, 'early Autumn' which is August 2 - September 22, and 'late Autumn' which is September 23rd to the end of October. I like that. Last night I had a wonderful sleep, thanks to the cool, crisp late-summer air that was coming in through the windows (a welcome relief from the steam-bath we've been living in the last couple of weeks). And today it's a high of +24, which is beautiful - I feel energized, and look forward to my evening stroll, instead of dreading it (it's not as fun in +35). So I'm going to (quietly) recognize this as early Autumn, the start to the Harvest season, and that makes me happy - sunshiny, golden days are ahead, it's my fave time of year, and I'm so glad it's here!! :)
S

2007-08-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Frost... Snowy sunset, crunch and plumes of steam as our breath hangs on the air. The snow is painted blues, pinks and golds, our shadows scattered and distorted along the tops of drifts, as we push onward against the cold, looking forward to a nice hot cup of tea... That's where I wish I was, in some ways. I love the summer, with its bright, sunshiney days and sprays of flowers along the pretty banks of the river, but I also do look forward to the spice and excitement of Fall, followed by the glorious silence of winter when the world stops racing, time slows down a bit, and those endless job lists that were plaguing us all summer go to sleep... We wake in the dark, work away all day in the warmth of artificial lights, and when we emerge, bundled in soft woolen mitts and scarves, coats meeting the tops of our tall boots, the sun is setting again, and the twinkle and glitter of holiday lights wink their joy down at us from the frozen tree tops. After a hot, comforting supper, it's dark and calm as I wash up the dishes and tidy the kitchen. Then bundling back up in 'long-johns' and heavy boots, Tigger and I will set out into the dark, where snowflakes swirl down around the street lamps and the ice sparkles like crystal, reflecting those heavily adorned lawns with their giant 'bonhommes' and christmas light reindeer. Then I often spend my evenings in candlelight with some good music - Norah Jones, Hayley Sales (this year), Annie Lennox or KT Tunstall... There, in my softly lit living room, I while away the hours quietly working on small projects I had no time for in the summer when the demands of inside and out were constantly tugging at me from every direction... Sounds darn good huh? I won't mention the biting cold that whips through your clothing and sinks into your bones, or the fact that sunlight becomes a scarce resource that most of us who are stuck inside rarely get a chance to feel on our skin... Or that winter and this darkness lasts about 6 months of the year, those months that seem to drag on forever. But right about now, it's looking VERY enticing. :)

Can you tell I'm tired?

2007-07-31T08:09:00.000-07:00

Well, due to the fact I forgot my herbal at home, and I don't have access to the Internet, I had to post my Lammas info from another source (School of the Seasons). I've taken a selection from what Waverly suggests this holiday is about:
"Honoring the Grain God or Goddess Bake a loaf of bread on Lammas. If you've never made bread before, this is a good time to start. Honor the source of the flour as you work with it: remember it was once a plant growing on the mother Earth. If you have a garden, add something you've harvested--herbs or onion or corn--to your bread. If you don't feel up to making wheat bread, make corn bread. Or gingerbread people. Or popcorn. What's most important is intention. All that is necessary to enter sacred time is an awareness of the meaning of your actions. "
"Corn Dolly Another way to honor the Grain Goddess is to make a corn doll. This is a fun project to do with kids. Take dried-out corn husks and tie them together in the shape of a woman. She's your visual representation of the harvest. As you work on her, think about what you harvested this year. Give your corn dolly a name, perhaps one of the names of the Grain Goddess or one that symbolizes your personal harvest. Dress her in a skirt, apron and bonnet and give her a special place in your house. She is all yours till the spring when you will plant her with the new corn, returning to the Earth that which She has given to you."
"Food for Thought Lammas is a festival of regrets and farewells, of harvest and preserves. Reflect on these topics alone in the privacy of your journal or share them with others around a fire. Lughnasad is one of the great Celtic fire-festivals, so if at all possible, have your feast around a bonfire. While you're sitting around the fire, you might want to tell stories. Look up the myths of any of the grain Gods and Goddesses mentioned above and try re-telling them in your own words.
Regrets: Think of the things you meant to do this summer or this year that are not coming to fruition. You can project your regrets onto natural objects like pine cones and throw them into the fire, releasing them. Or you can write them on dried corn husks (as suggested by Nancy Brady Cunningham in Feeding the Spirit) or on a piece of paper and burn them.
Farewells: What is passing from your life? What is over? Say good-bye to it. As with regrets, you can find visual symbols and throw them into the fire, the lake or the ocean. You can also bury them in the ground, perhaps in the form of bulbs which will manifest in a new form in spring.
Harvest: What have you harvested this year? What seeds have your planted that are sprouting? Find a visual way to represent these, perhaps creating a decoration in your house or altar which represents the harvest to you. Or you could make a corn dolly or learn to weave wheat. Look for classes in your area which can teach you how to weave wheat into wall pieces, which were made by early grain farmers as a resting place for the harvest spirits.
Preserves: This is also a good time for making preserves, either literally or symbolically. As you turn the summer's fruit into jams, jellies and chutneys for winter, think about the fruits that you have gathered this year and how you can hold onto them. How can you keep them sweet in the store of your memory? "

I think I might try to at least bake some bread, as I remember I had wanted to do last year (but as usual, was too busy with something-or-other to do it). The only problem this year is that our stove doesn't quite fit comfortably between the wall and the counter in our kitchen, so I'm afraid that it may be too snug to be safely baking things in it (there's like maybe a few mm between each side and the walls). I do like the idea of really reflecting on our accomplishments so far - as we are celebrating an end to all the madness (working 8 hour days, then racing over to the apartment to work on it for four or five hours at a time). Our tenants picked up their keys yesterday and are moving in today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it all goes smoothly and we'll be able to finally turn our attentions toward our own house and its myriad of things that need to be done. Anyway, I can certainly be thankful that we stuck with it and got through the crazy month of July (we knew it would be difficult but it seriously tested all our strength, both inner and outer). Now I am looking forward to working on my gardens, cooking real food again, enjoying leisurely walks with Luc and Tigger in the evenings, and actually being able to keep the place clean and tidy as there will be fewer mad dashes out the door (hopefully) in the evenings. :)
Yesterday, it occurred to me that I really am proud of us, as I stood, power drill in hand, looking around at the cozy, clean apartment we were about to offer to our tenants. I never in a million years would have seen us renting apartments out and there is a small sense of pride and accomplishment when you can turn over the keys to a place you love, with the knowledge that the people moving in will surely love it too (maybe not as much as we did, but they'll make it their own and in time will come to love things about it too, I'm sure). For a moment, a week or so ago, I had thought we should sell it. But yesterday I realized that we had put way too much blood, sweat and tears into it to just let it go for nothing. So hopefully we'll hold onto it until we're ready to move again, then sell both places, collect a bit of money for a downpayment on a new place, and then finally settle in somewhere permanent (or at least longer term). :)
Anyway, so here's to a summer of hard work and learning experiences - now we get to sit back and enjoy a bit of the 'harvest' which is enjoying our new life in beautiful Aylmer. :)
S

2007-07-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

So here's a fun thing, I was looking at (and Luc made the mistake of replanting the seed yesterday when he brought up moving to New Zealand for a year or two) this site: http://www.homeexchange.com/view_listings.php a while back. It has listings of people from all over the world who are looking for people to exchange homes with. Some are simply offering their cottages out for a long weekend (in exchange for your home in the city), others are looking for a few weeks, or in some cases even a year, in another country. :) I think that would be so cool, and it would be a great opportunity for us to see a bit of the world before life catches up with us any more. I won't get myself too excited about it yet, but hey, we're young, neither one of us has 'THE JOB' yet, we have no kids, we are not afraid to rent our properties out, so really all that is left is to find somewhere that we could both get a job for a year (someplace warm and beautiful), grab some airplane tickets for us, our two cats and our doggie, and away we would go! It would be so awesome!

I'm neurotic, I bring it all on myself, but it's still fun to dream.. :)

2007-07-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

Hack Day...
I just read an article on a new concept that high-tech employers are using to help motivate their employees. It's called 'Hack Day' - a day where employees are encouraged to come to work in casual clothing, fed snacks and soft-drinks and are encouraged to 'create' with reckless abandon. The creating doesn't even have to necessarily have anything to do with their business, it's a chance to get your brain working, maybe get a little imagination and enthusiasm going, and generally encourage people to sharpen their skills in programming (or whatever strengths they have). I would LOVE such a day - there are countless programs I've been wanting to write for our office, like a defect tracking system, where our bugs and fixes could be logged and tracked in a database and reported on. It would replace our existing tool that has a lot of limits that make our jobs just that much more tedious to do. Problem is, I don't have time to work on it and even if I wanted to work on it between tasks, I get so wrapped up in these things when I start them, that everything else would become a frustrating deviation from the interesting work I'm trying to do. My boss probably wouldn't love that... ;)

The article mentioned examples like building an application that would notify you every time new music was available for download to your iPod, or building a time forecasting system to predict and track how long it takes your company to complete a task. These things may never actually be used for business-purposes, or maybe they would be, but all in all, it would allow people to take the time to expand an idea and really run with it, while learning new valuable programming skills at the same time.
Of course, here at the gov't, it's a very different environment, I'd go as far as to say it's not a highly motivational environment compared to private industry where your productivity DIRECTLY impacts your bottom line. Here, there are too many layers of bureaucracy and red tape to allow you to do anything like a 'hack day' and honestly, people probably don't care as much because the person managing the budget is more than likely not the person who is doling out the work (hence the reason why a lot of work is forgotten about). Anyway, I thought it was a neat concept. I think my dream job would be one where I could bring my pet to work (to keep him in a 'doggie daycare' style facility as some companies are now doing), and where every Monday could be a hack day. ;) Then I'd be a happy girl.

2007-07-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

Woohoo - Lowell Greene watch out! I've started a new career/hobby in publishing 'bitch-fests' - check out Saturday's Ottawa Citizen.. ;)

Put a leash on Bowser to protect neighbours
The Ottawa CitizenPublished: Saturday, July 21, 2007
Having recently moved to the suburbs, I've discovered a safety issue when walking the streets of my Aylmer-sector neighbourhood: loose dogs.
In the past week, I have been surprised to see many dogs roaming around, and twice have been confronted by hostile, large breed dogs (a Doberman and a Rottweiler), which tried to attack my puppy while the owners were either inside the house or were not watching their dogs. Why aren't people tying up or restraining their dogs on their property? Not only is there a risk to passersby, but to the dogs themselves.
I urge anyone who owns a dog to enrol it in at least a basic obedience class, and regardless of age, breed or temperment to keep it in a well-fenced yard, tied, or on leash at all times. My dog is treated this way to keep him safe and to prevent any unnecessary accidents.

I resent not feeling safe in my neighbourhood. It is the responsibility of any dog owner to ensure the safety of their animal, and anyone who might come in contact with it. If you can't handle this responsibility, don't own a dog!
Unfortunately, I am seriously considering carrying pepper spray to ward off potential attacks by large dogs. This is unfair to the dog, of course, as it is only acting on instinct to protect its property. But if the owners feel that the risk of vehicular accidents, dog bites, lawsuits, vet bills and even death are worth allowing Bowser to roam the yard, then I see no other option.
Shelley Kerr, Gatineau
© The Ottawa Citizen 2007

2007-07-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally got the fridge delivered this morning. They scratched it on the way out of the truck, and they forgot to give us the screws for the doors, plus, the door doesn't seal properly, so it's going back. Unfortunately, in my excitement, I forgot that fact and loaded it up with all our food that had been crammed into the little old fridge out in the 'dog room' (made dinner prep kind of annoying - especially on your fifth trip to the basement to get whatever it was you forgot).

Anyway, then I got a letter in the mail from the f***ing gov't - claiming that I didn't pay my taxes for 2006. But I did. And I have proof that I did. So that's another phone call I have to make on my first day back at work tomorrow.

I have to say I'm utterly exhausted - we all are, even Tigger doesn't know what to do with himself - he half-plays but he's not really into it, he wanders in circles stressing and panting and then finally lies down with a big huff and a puff, only to drag himself back up again if one of us leaves the room. I think it's been a looooong week and, especially after yesterday, we're all in need of some serious sleep (and a vacation!). Pretty sad to say when I'm going back to work again tomorrow and won't have a day of vacation left until November 1. The good thing is that my boss is gone for five weeks, so while I have tons to work on, it'll be quiet and stress-free and I can finally get myself organized again. :)

Anyhow, I'm in serious need of a nap - Tigger is stretched out at my feet and it looks SO comfy. I'm going to join him.

Zzzzz...

2007-07-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

Well, the second-last day of my official 'holidays' is upon us, and it still doesn't feel any different than a Sunday. I think there is something to taking two full weeks off and getting out of town for at least part of that, then you're not surrounded with 'things I should be doing instead of sitting here on my butt'. Anyway, Tigger and I went 'exploring' last night and actually ended up down at the marina in Aylmer. I have to say, I've fallen in love with this city already. It's not actually like a 'city' - it's more like a big town, full of big old houses, a pretty marina with sail boats gliding by in the sunset, and a rocky beach where I can take my dog (and once he wasn't afraid of the waves, he happily trotted around in the water, and watched the ducks swim by). I was recovering on a rock from a death-defying moment involving a ginormous Doberman Pinscher (male) who came running up behind me, barking its fool head off and trying to attack my Tigger. (Tigger was barking and skittering backward, thank God he didn't think he could 'take' this dog). Meanwhile, I'm yelling 'NO!! NO!! NO!!' at the Dobe who almost stood as tall as me... The owners finally did come OUT of their house and called him off and I told them to get a leash on their damn dog. Grrrr... It's people like that who totally ruin it for the rest of the world who love dobes and GSDs and pitbulls, etc.
Anyway, so back to Aylmer, it's beautiful - reminds me a lot of PEI actually. And where I was afraid there'd be no 'social' scene, there is MORE - but civilized in a way. I saw one 'night club' but there were also quite a few cute looking pubs and restaurants along the main street, all made from old brick houses. Very pretty indeed, and a big step up from the 'Kiwi Bar' (the shady joint near our old place that I think became a transvestite biker place or something. ;) Anyhow, it took us about an hour longer than it should have to get home because I got lost and we ended up walking home on the highway, but we managed to amuse ourselves with Tim Hortons cups along the way (Tigger has a 'thing' for them apparently). It was good to get out and spend time with him, he makes me laugh.
Though this morning's 'game' wasn't as fun. ;) Luc tried again (unsuccessfully) to put him in his run, so I had to 'demonstrate' how to get him in there, which involved picking his front up and dragging him into it again (once we've done this once or twice, he leaps into the run after that, but we start over every day...) Anyway, I wanted to have a half-hour nap because it was still early and I was feeling tired, but I decided it'd be nice to give him the full back yard where he could lay on the deck in the sun and chew his bone. I gave him some water and food and went back to sleep. Well I didn't get much sleep because he threw his food dish again (he's still not eating), then I heard some 'funny' noises. I finally got up to see what he was up to, thinking he was perhaps trying to flip his water dish or maybe had run out of water. Nope, he had the hose (which we had talked about yesterday - how it was such a nice expensive, good quality hose with a loooong reach and we were so glad the last owner in our old house had left it for us), and he was shaking it in his jaws like a snake. I freaked and came flying down the stairs, yelled 'NO!' and, terrified, hooked it up and turned on the water. Thank GAWD, he didn't puncture it. So he's back in his run with some toys until I can be out there to supervise him. Friggin pest sometimes - at least he's not 'quite' a child but just about as bad!
My friend and I were talking yesterday about how, unlike with a cat, whom you can ignore most of the day, a dog requires constant monitoring. If they're making a weird noise, they're probably doing something they shouldn't be. If they're being too quiet, they're still probably doing something they shouldn't be. And they get BORED and have to invent new ways to get attention (which so far has involved chewing things we shouldn't, pounding on the back door, and barking and whining) where a cat would just go to sleep. Anyway, at least I haven't panicked totally yet - I'm still eating! ;)

Well, gotta run - I want to paint the kitchen to get ready for our new appliances - fun!
xo

2007-07-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, well, we're mostly all moved in minus the new fridge, stove, 50 inch plasma (eek!), and the shed and crawlspace full of junk (aka 'treasures') that I've collected over the years.. ;)
After a week and a half of full-time prepping, priming and painting, our living room looks great, the bedroom is nearly there, the ensuite is calm and inviting, just need to finish the trim on the dining room and do a second coat on the walls in the kitchen (plus paint all the cabinetry and trim, and replace the flooring - ugh, a job we're not quite ready to tackle).

Anyway, Tigger came to join us again yesterday, and except for the odd moment of extreme anxiety (I really do have a problem), it's been great. We played in the yard this morning, then watched movies together while it peed down rain in the afternoon, and then even squeezed in a trip to Petsmart, where he was assaulted by noise and flashy things and people and big blue (scary) carts. He was awesome throughout it all. :) The biggest challenge I have to deal with, is that a dog is a lot more like a child than cats are. They can be left alone, but I always wonder what's he's up to when he's being 'quiet'. So far, nothing really. I just have to learn to stop worrying. I'm doing fairly well though, and the yard is a big saving grace - it's big and secure, so he has room to hang out there. The dog room is working well too - he's still a bit afraid of the stairs, but that keeps him nicely contained in the upper room where he can look down at us and keep an 'eye on us' while we're watching a movie. And his couple of attempts to join me upstairs resulted in a lot of panicked chasing, cats hissing, Luc cursing, so I don't think he'll be in a rush to come up here again (hopefully!).

Anyway, I'm on holidays right now, but it doesn't actually feel like it. We've been working ourselves silly the past few days and now we just kind of 'veg'. I think I might go do some work in the gardens or something to at least get my butt off the couch. Maybe tomorrow we can go for a hike in the Gatineau hills.

Well, boring post I know, but I might have pics and stuff later.

S

2007-06-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I decided to take the day off. In retrospect, it was a day wasted in a way, but I felt at the time that I needed some quiet time a moi même. Time to just quietly take it all in, with no worrying, no excitement, just acceptance that this is our new home. However, it didn't quite go that way for me, I found that the combination of the boring beige walls, the worn out floors, the dog hairs and stinky dirty carpets, (not to mention the totally ugly and grease-coated kitchen) were all glaring reminders that this was not 'our house'. (Even though, legally it is of course)... I don't mean to speak unkindly about it either, because the previous owners had done a pretty good job of cleaning the place, so I didn't really even have much of a purpose once I got there. I cleaned a few door frames, and the stairs, and a closet; I hung up some winter coats in the storage area under the stairs, and took pictures of the inside (www.ginlor.com/house.html). I wandered around the yard for a few minutes but the heat kept me mostly hiding inside where it was cool (thank gawd for basements!). The trees and bushes grow sporadically all around the yard, their ungroomed branches snag your clothes and hair and you can see by the worn trails on the ground that the previous owners were fine with weaving between the trees to access the various areas of the yard (which is huge). Anyway, it wasn't until last night, when Luc suggested we sit down together and write down some plans for what we wanted to do inside, that I got excited. Now I feel prepared to go back in there, armed with paint and new stylish door knobs, and of course, hedge trimmers!

The yard will be a work in progress and will probably take a few years before we have it where I want it to be. I'd like to one day put interlocking brick down in the front, reside the house, build gardens (even a small veggie/herb patch), pressure wash and stain the decks and put up some stained lattice alongside Tigger's run for my morning glories and moon flowers to climb, it'll be loverly eventually. :) The shed is another amazing thing - it's huge! We're not sure what we'll use it for yet, but Luc will have a kick-ass workshop for sure. :)

Anyway, we chose some beautiful colours for the walls inside that I think will really transform it to the way we want it. For our bedroom, we chose an ocean-inspired barely-there blue, which will go nicely with our cream coloured curtains and dark wood bed.
Then we chose a warm mellow yellow for the kitchen, with the plan to freshen it up by painting the cabinets a cream colour and adding mouldings as a temporary way to make it look a bit more classy. We got new handles as well and a new appliance set will snazz it up nicely. The lino is worn, curling and stained, so we will hopefully be putting down vinyl (it's a small area so I don't expect it to be overly expensive to do). Something like the kitchen pictured here:

In the living room, we chose an earthy green, as a nice contrasting backdrop to the beige couches we have. I'm contemplating renting a sander and attempting to fix the floors in there ourselves (at least as much as we can do for now). A light sand and a few coats of varnish would at least make them look nice and shiny again.

We didn't choose all our paint colours for the basement yet, but Luc did pick up a deep wine coloured paint, paired with a rich tan colour for the office downstairs and he's thinking a deeper blue for the rec room.

People had cautioned me to wait until we'd lived in the house before painting, but we just can't do it! I need to make it feel like home - it would be hard to go from our vibrant, comfortable, warm apartment with its bold reds and yellows and navy and terracotta, etc to an all beige house that screams 'someone else owned me!'.. I'm possessive, what can I say?

Anyway, I'm going to start trying to keep track of the decorating ideas we have - right now the kitchen is small and is separate from the dining room. I'm hoping we can knock the dividing wall down, put in an island, and eventually lay ceramic tile and new hardwood down. I'm planning to hold onto this house for a while so it's fun to dream big!!

Anyway, time for a meeting - back to the world of work.

xo

2007-06-19T17:19:00.000-07:00

In some ways, I do wish that it summer solstice didn't have to mark the point at which the days begin to get shorter again. Unlike in Saskatchewan, where the sun sets at 10:00 and rises again sometime before 5:00 (though the first streaks of colour appeared in the sky at 2:30 or so on the night we graduated high school...), here in Quebec/Ontario, it sets at about 9:30 and, because of all the trees and hills and buildings, it really hits twilight at about 8:30. So it doesn't take long to wind back down to our 5:00 darkness like in the winter. I'm sure I won't mind it when we actually get to Fall (because it's such a beautiful season, I can forgive it), but right now I'm not ready to think about winter coming back, not when we just got rid of it!

One thing that I did embrace today, by chance, was the idea of us moving. Up until now it has been something that rapidly went from daring (if not a little terrifying) to a tabu subject that I almost felt bad to speak about, incase I should accidentally say something negative that would burst the fragile bubble that was surrounding us. I have since chatted with a few good friends, who are doing similarly daring moves, for different reasons, and with different risks, (and in some cases, quite a different distance), but it seems to me that we've embarked on a potentially rewarding journey. Like the excerpt above says, you have to embrace the impermanence of life - to quote Jewel 'everything is temporary, if you give it enough time' and that is so true (especially in my life). So while I am still falling in love my current home (I adore my back yard), there are other reasons why moving on to a new place and making it special is a good, healthy thing for us to do. At the same time, (and along those same lines), where it suggests us to bloom where we are planted, this is another lesson that is difficult for me to take sometimes - I have always looked beyond where I'm standing, eager to see what waits around the corner, dreaming of the future instead of living in the present. Because of that (and possibly due to my up-bringing as an ever-moving army brat), I have found it very difficult to really say who I am at any one time, and feel happy in any one situation. I always feel like I'm 'posing' as someone else, in some made-up life that I've designed for myself. I need to work on blooming where I've planted myself, relaxing a bit and enjoying life as it comes... It must be rewarding, or it wouldn't be so damn hard to do. :)

On an unrelated note, another thing that Luc and I have decided to seriously try is to eat more fresh, chemical free foods. There is a farmer's market every weekend at the marina in Aylmer, where we'll be living. It's sort of an underground arrangement, where you meet the farmers there and they bring their harvests and, for, I believe $25/week, they supply you with a TONNE of fresh veggies, grown right here around us - no pesticides or crazy x-continent trips (like all our tasteless fruits and veggies at the store right now). We want to make chutneys and stews and chillis and jams, etc. I don't think we'll have time for that this summer, but you never know, and we will have a new deep freezer hopefully as well, to store it all in. I guess my family should be forewarned that this probably means they'll be getting a cute little package of preserves for xmas this year... ;) (Don't worry, I'm not that organized, you're all safe for now)...

2007-06-13T10:54:00.000-07:00

Something interesting to write about... Why not...?
So, I have been beating myself up a little bit lately because I have been operating on a bit of a crazy, fast-paced agenda, where acquiring a home (and in our case, two apartments), the dog, the picket fence (oh yeah, but mine's gonna be black), and the stable, loving partner, a couple of kids, as well as trying to build a career and dreaming about fitting some travel in there all take priority on some high level in my life. I started to wonder if I was rushing things, while I look around me at women my age (though honestly I don't know many my exact age, but a range from low 20's up to early 30's) and I realize that most of them have been taking a very different approach to their lives than I have... I have friends who have forgone the career/home/partner/family route altogether for a while, and have been focussing on seeing a bit of the world, whether that be overseas somewhere, or even just taking a job that requires lots of traveling around. I have friends who have invested time and money into extensive educations (and even now are returning to add on to their degrees), these friends who are content with living in a one-bedroom apartment, partying at bars on the weekend, and seemingly, their greatest worry is what they'll wear out on Saturday evening. They seem (but maybe I'm just not as observant as I think), to not really have any worries about children in the near future, and figure once they meet 'the man', everything will fall into place (and maybe it will). I also have friends who have opted for the family route, earlier than later, in order to enjoy having children while they're young enough to play along with them. These women have opted for a smaller, simpler life perhaps, but they make ends meet, and a few I know are married and living happily with their spouses (and adding on children), and a few are living the single-mom life and seem quite successful at it (though I'm sure it's not easy at all).
So where the hell do I fit in? Why can't I make up my mind on what I want? I have no idea. I always wanted to get married. And, in some small way, I always wanted children. By age 18, when I went off to University, it started to eat away at me that all I wanted in the whole wide world was a baby. I know now that I really was looking for a 'companion' in life, and since have (thankfully) adopted two cats, a turtle (who didn't remain with me) and a dog (that I'm freaking about), who provide me with more than enough ways to exercise my 'mothering' instincts. Over the next 7 years, I have gone to college, opting for the quicker, more direct route to a job, over the more expensive and less goal-oriented (for me) option of University. I don't have any regrets that I dropped out when I did, but now I sometimes wonder if perhaps I have potential to be or do more and am limiting myself by not having that piece of $50,000 paper that says 'she's a smart cookie' from the University of Ottawa or wherever. Then I started on a career path, that proved to be a bit more difficult (trying to get into the gov't) and ultimately landed me in a consulting role, where I've been working to defy the hugely stacked odds against me (I'm young, inexperienced, female, and without a degree - some view that as a pretty bad list of things to be up against). Within that career, I've struggled with trying to find out what I really, truly, would be happy doing. I find I'm bored now in what I'm currently working on, and I do need a change, but I'm unsure about the direction I should go in. I have found I don't have a lot of patience for working with other people, I like to get things done efficiently and effectively, and don't handle a lot of wishy-washy social crap in between (in other words I've found I really don't enjoy working with most women...) I've entertained ideas of writing, but don't think I'd do the whole news and gossip thing well, and where I used to think I'd enjoy social sciences or psychology, I've since found that they don't cater to my results-driven side that I find the computer science field really feeds.
Then, I've always had this nagging feeling that I've wanted to travel, though interestingly enough, when we took a trip down South one year, after about four days, I was ready to go home. And I struggle with trying to figure out if life in the city, with its cappuccinos, flashy lights, nice houses and 'things to do' is better suited to my tastes than the allure of a quiet, simpler life in the country, with a sprawling old house with a big veranda overlooking beautiful gardens and rolling hills. And where, in all that, do I fit the kids? Do I even want kids? Yes, sometimes I think 'oh, wouldn't that be cute to dress the baby up and take him/her to the zoo'. Then I see some poor, distant mother, dragging her screaming kid(s) through the store or on the bus, while people (myself included) shoot dagger stares at her and wish she'd do something to make the kid be quiet. Even the financial aspect of raising a child scares me. To give up my career (and in the computer world, as a woman, if you have kids, you better be employed by the government, or bye bye career) and stay home with the kids would probably drive me insane. I don't really like children (especially once they get older and spoiled), I need time to myself, I am not a good house-keeper... There is the option that hubby could stay home, which might make more sense financially, but I'm not sure that this idea is based in reality for the majority of us out there.
Anyway, all this to say, it was just a thought I was mulling over on my walk at lunch. Then I came back and found this article http://www.srmjournal.org/article/PIIS1546250104000052/fulltext that talks about how most of the women you see at the top of the corporate ladder (including my boss) don't have children, as it is extremely difficult for women to battle the demands of getting an education, landing in debt, finding a career, finding a husband, having a baby, taking time off work, regaining the career, and raising children while climbing the corporate ladder (and traveling the world? :) ) all at the same time. It has an interesting checklist at the bottom that, to me, is worth keeping as one of those things you look back on in 50 years and giggle about how ludacrous it seems (reminds me of those Suzie Homemaker articles from the 40's in terms of how it provides such a definite 'checklist' of things you MUST do in order to be happy). So I don't know if I'm on the right track or not, or even which track I'm on, but at least I know I'm not alone in trying to get everything sorted out early so I can have my family (if family is what I'm destined to have), or my 'winter home' in some tropical place, or whatever. ;)
In the mean time I'm attempting to NOT step on my other-half's toes, while attempting to figure out what is best for both of us, and this is a difficult thing when so many aspects are up in the air.. Food for thought anyway...

2007-06-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

Sigh.. I've written and re-written various posts in previous days, but due to the overwhelming amount of pessimistic (and defeatist) attitudes surrounding me currently, I keep falling into the trap of making this into a diary entry, when I promised myself I would not do that. To focus on a couple positive things, I am happy to say that summer has finally arrived - with temperatures hanging around 28 degrees (give or take a few), and lots of sunshine and I have the trucker's tan to prove it... (For those not in the 'know', that's when one shoulder is blazing red (actually my whole arm) and one is still snow white - very sexy, kind of a yin and yang sorta thing goin on there... ;) Anyway, in order to distract myself from all the stress of details and having to run in fifty directions all at once, while at the same time jumping up and down waving pom poms and shouting 'Isn't this FABULOUS!?!' at the top of my lungs all the time (yes I'm being figurative here), there are still a few things I can smile about in life. One being myself and my frequent 'adornment' of various kinds of foods and sauces that I seem to be intent on wearing. I figure if you can't laugh at yourself, you're in trouble... So last night, it was ketchup and mustard, smeared up my forearm, while I was meeting a coworker and her husband to check out a washer/dryer set that we may purchase for our tenants (for an ouchy $600, but I digress)... Today it was peanut butter, pasted neatly all over my face, while I chatted with a techie guy about my broken computer (since fixed at least) and with my boss about this and that. Gotta love that you never discover these things until about five minutes after they've left the room, and I have to wonder how they all hold a straight face while they talk to me, but anyway.
That reminds me of another sweet moment I had on the weekend. My sister and I brought our dogs to a little town outside of Ottawa called 'Almonte'.

It's pretty, with big old houses (with their own style that has been dubbed the 'Almonte style' by architects), and various old mills resting on the banks of the river that runs through the center of the town. Anyway, we decided to go 'all out' and ordered ourselves some poutine, which was a challenge to eat when one arm was 'tied' to a gigantic puppy, but we managed. Then we went for a walk down the main street, and finally found an icecream place that served soft cones from outside (through a window). So I ordered a cone for my sis, one for me, and of course, one for the dogs to share. :) It was absolutely the cutest thing, and a moment that really reminded me why I got my doggie friend in the first place. He'd never had ice cream before, so he licked at it, 'gingerly', with his ears all screwed on sideways, and his eyes squinted against the cold. Then my sister's dog got a turn. She's a tiny little German Shepherd, but her huge personality makes up for it. She reminds most people of a 'Raptor'. Anyway, she did a typical 'dyno-bite' and bit half the ice cream off in one go, which of course made her panic, chewing faster and faster to get it down as it was ice cold. Anyway, this went on until the whole cone had been eaten, and ended with her having ice cream on the tips of her ears, and my dog with it streaked across his cheeks. It was a nice to have a genuine giggle over something for once, and really made me appreciate what an adorable pair of animals we have. :)
We move into the house in the next few weeks - actually we get possession of it in less than two weeks. I'm feeing apathetic, as it's the safest emotion to have at the moment, especially when everything rides on the ability of everyone involved to muster up some courage and soldier on with a little enthusiasm, which is currently lacking on all fronts.
Anyway, I will blindly charge forward, as there is no going back, and I know my money is being invested wisely, and I have made one promise to myself which is to take me and a like-minded female friend (or group of) and go relax for a week in Southern France, perhaps next year or the following one - definitely before I'm 30. With all the other things we've accomplished so far, it'd be a crime not to get a few 'dreams' out of the way before life really does bog us down. I'm hoping my other half can do the same for himself too one of these days.
Well, it's lunch time. Gonna go get some rays (with sunscreen on this time).
xo

2007-05-30T12:11:00.001-07:00

Hmmm, there's something about a cloudy but warm day that always gets me into a 'dreamy' mood. So, I decided to take a walk at lunch and ended up at Chapters (dreamy moods always = books for me). Unfortunately, I spent another $50 (which makes me feel guilty) but I picked up two books that I absolutely NEEDED. One being a step-by-step guide for home repair, complete with shopping list, how long it takes to complete the 'project' and best of all, it's written by a woman. I don't mean to be one of those sissy girls who pretends she can't understand things in the 'man's view of the world' but, I have learned that my attention span is short, big tools scare me, and big manuals like the Black and Decker guide to home repair is just a waste of paper and ink in my case (because I honestly can't read it). The book I got doesn't cover a ton of things, but I'm just happy that I can at least go ahead with some of the fix-its on my list that involve things like repairing the siding on our house, (instead of putting a board over it and planting ferns infront of it, which was my first fix), changing the door knobs, and redoing the caulking around windows and in the bathrooms... :)

The other book I got was one recommended to me by my mother, and the reviews led me to realize that it's going to be my new bible once Tigger comes home. It's called 'How to be Your Dog's Best Friend', written by a bunch of monks (oddly enough), who raise German Shepherds (perfect). It doesn't bother with all that fluppy-wuppy BS where everything you want your dog to do is accompanied by a lot of grovelling and treat-stuffing, and everything bad he does is handled with a simple 'look the other way' approach. I can't have my dog going ape-wild in our new place, and he's too damn smart to assume he'll continue to repeat the same behavior flawlessly every time, cookie or no cookie. In my short time with him, I quickly learned that he will have a command nailed in about 5 minutes, after that, he's going to try to outsmart you, and if that fails, he'll bite you or jump on you. This book has more of the 'old way' approach, where a dog is treated as a 'pack member' (no I'm not about to start calling myself mother Wolf or anything so stop snickering). Anyway, so in understanding how he responds to situations naturally, you can get your messages across to him clearly and quickly by mimicking what a pack leader would do, more or less. (So yes, discipline is taught thoroughly so as not to be done improperly). So two good book purchases, if I do say so myself! Now the only thing is I actually have to read them. ;)
Anyway, I'm looking forward to a quiet night tonight. Luc will be in Montreal on a business trip, so I'm planning to do a bit of tidying up before heading out to Winners to (finally) spend my gift certificate that I got on my b-day. I need to find something to wear for the wedding that is coming up this weekend, but I have no clue what (it can't cost very much, that's for sure!)
Well, guess I better get back to work.
xo

2007-05-27T17:40:00.000-07:00

Sigh... Well, I'm through with playing 'enthusiastic landlord extraordinaire', or rather, I was as of about 10:30 this morning, moments before our first 'potential tenants' of the day showed up. I can honestly tell you that owning apartments and renting them out is a fantastic investment, but it's a huge one, not only of money (which we are currently very short on!), but of time, of emotion, of risk.. We had several people through last week (I believe we showed it about 6 times over the week, with four of the showings occurring in one evening). All went well, but for the most part, it was young couples who either weren't comfortable with the price or were not really into some aspect of the neighbourhood or house. Luckily, we do have a beautiful little apartment, and we received tons of compliments on our decorating (yeh!), but that doesn't necessarily mean that people will rent (and sometimes, that's a good thing). We held our breath a few times, like when the 30-something divorcee who went through the house with a fine-toothed comb, and started commenting on things like 'hmmmm, I don't like open concept too much' and 'I think I could fit my daughter's bed in here with my queen sized bed' and 'so I would be able to store all my excess things in the crawl space until I find a house?' (read: I am moving out as soon as I can find something bigger)... Then there were a few others who were either incredibly finicky and nit-picky, or had a dog 'but he's such a good dog', or were 18 years old, etc... After four more showings today, we managed to finally luck in with a couple who have one baby, and who are extremely nice. Though I was put in the awkward position after talking to them on Friday evening (to schedule an appointment for this morning - dumb after a bachelorette/bachelor party evening last night), and right after I hung up the phone, got another call from a sweetheart of a girl (single mom to an 18 month old baby boy) who poured her life story out to me and had me chatting with her like we were old friends for HALF an HOUR. She told me she desperately wanted this apartment, she had fallen in love with the pictures, the idea sounded perfect, and she has to be out of her current apartment by July 1. She had me promising to store her stuff while she lived at her relatives while we fixed up the place, and pointing out day cares and things for her kid. We even discussed whether her duvet would match the paint in the bedroom (and it would, lol). She was so excited, she drove around the neighbourhood on Saturday (but looked at the wrong house), and then called Luc to tell him all about it while he was trying to bar-b-que (three sheets to the wind as well). She even told me this morning that she had found a garage sale on our street and she and her friend had bought all the guys' paintings, yadda yadda. Anyway, so naturally, she had wanted to see the apartment before I showed it to the nice couple, however I didn't want to do anything 'sneaky' incase it turned out we didn't want her to rent or something. So she showed up today and was severely disappointed when she learned that she probably didn't have the apartment as they had sat down right then and there and signed the reference forms. We were then stuck with the awkward and stressful task of trying to figure out which one to choose - her or the couple. We finally decided to do the 'right thing' and take the couple first, as they were really first in line. It did involve me having a semi-counselling session with my will-be 29 year old tenant (the husband) about exactly what apartment living is going to mean for them, and were they fully understanding that it will be a BIG transition from a huge house in the country to a small apartment in the city where they will definitely need to learn how to live with other people they don't know in the same house... Anyway, he assures me it's all fine. I'm now exhausted and am taking his word for it, and so we hopefully sign a lease tomorrow (woohoo!).

That means I can move on to stressing about everything else in our life - like where we're getting the money for the house, planning (and hopefully doing) all the repairs on this place, settling into our new place (and cleaning and painting and fence building), finding appliances and furniture both for here (to replace the washer/dryer that we're taking with us) and for there (new fridge and stove and furniture for the entire finished basement), plus bringing the dog back into our busy lives and dealing with his 'transition period' where he'll invariably piss on the floor infront of Luc who will have a heart-attack and probably try to kill him (with the help of our psycho cat who has to actually be drugged with anti-depressant 'stoner' meds to make him not jump on the dog's back and sink his teeth in as far as they will go), all the while I'll be upstairs crying on the phone to my mom and having a nervous breakdown... Sounds like fun eh? Welcome to the life of 'the smart thing to do' where all you have to do is be in a constant state of stress and someday, they assure you, it will ALL PAY OFF BABY!!! ;)

No seriously, I am doing alright with managing the stress, mostly because it still seems kind of like a 'dream' and not like we're actually moving. I was looking at our place this morning, thinking to myself how much I'm going to miss it. And I really will. When we bought it, I made a promise to myself not to get too attached as it WAS an investment property.. and I know that one day our new house will have the same feel for me, but right now, this is HOME. I love the paint colours, the neighbourhood, all the quirks of the house, our tenants, the location, everything. I'm going to miss it! But you have to make sacrifices in life to get where you want to go, so while I am finding it all a little scary right now, it will eventually all work out and we'll be smiling on our brand-new two-tiered deck overlooking the gardens and pool, while my well-trained dog lies at my feet and MAYBE two little kiddlets are playing in the yard... In like 15 years, lol... ;) (see how good I've become at the self-pep-talks? Makes you want to vomit, doesn't it?)

Anyway, I need sleep. I'm going to have to go cut the power wires leading into the trashy next door neighbours' house though because they have AWFUL music pumping out of their basement that is practically vibrating the walls (did I say I was going to miss this??) .... ;o)

xoxo

2007-05-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, better late than never!

Beeeautiful Beltane: (excerpt from my Herbal) Celebrated April 20 and May 1, Beltane (or May Eve and May Day) is a time to revel in life's absurdities and have fun. The sun is gaining strength and thought to hold the characteristics of youth - playful and mischievous. Flowers abound, waiting for you to enjoy the beauty of life's physical pleasures. Smell the flowers or dance in a secluded part of overgrown wilderness, as you relish the light and laughter of faeries and children. Traditionally, the holiday represents the marriage of the divine masculine and divine feminine, as seen in the maypole dance. Weave together the magick of the male and female aspects of yourself. Honor the collaboration and patchwork that is you. Respect the soul's journey, and always remember to take teh ride of life lightly - it is only a dream, after all.
(Strawberries are a symbol of Beltane).
I found a neat site - (check out the pics) - the Beltane Fire Society (http://www.beltane.org/) puts on a festival every year at Beltane (of course) where they have a theatrical performance involving a lot of costumed people and dancing and fires - looks really cool - someday if I ever get to Scotland, you can bet I wanna see it! :)

So in keeping with the spirit of 'reveling in absurdities', we did just buy a new house and that was just brought on because I bought a dog that didn't fit in our apartment. Well, no there are many other more important reasons why we did, but it is crazy and exciting (and a little scary) all at the same time. The biggest thing I have to realize is that we will own it for a long time, so projects can be worked on slowly, and with thought, instead of being slapped together at a moment's notice (and thousands of dollars later having us realize we should have invested more thought and planning into it).

I definitely will have enough to keep me busy over the next few years though, between outdoor summer projects like gardens, patios, fencing and dog houses, plus the essentials like roofing, siding, and general maintenance, to inside projects like new flooring, painting, new furniture, refinishing our dining room table, and completely renovating the kitchen (including knocking out a wall), I'm sure we'll never run out of things to do (and sink our money into).

We were walking around the neighbourhood where we live now and I"m happy that we do still own a house here, because, honestly, there is something to be said for our quiet, small, older neighbourhood right smack in the middle of the city (though our neighbourhood in Aylmer is beautiful too). I will miss walking around our home and looking out over the river at Ottawa with all its buildings shining in the setting sunlight. I love looking at the city, with all its trees - it seems like there are no houses down there, but I know under the trees there are streets filled with people and garbage and houses and buildings and cars, but you can't see any of that from where I look at the top of the hill near our apartment, so it's really pretty. Always reminds me of when I first came to Ottawa after high school, how beautiful it was and how excited I felt, not knowing what was 'under all the trees' nor really caring anyway, just filled with joy and hope.. :)

Where we're moving is very pretty - we're kind of close to the river, (can't see it but it's a 15 minute walk to get there) surrounded by parkland, golf courses, and older 'Victorian' style neighbourhoods complete with a marina (looks like PEI!) and quaint shops. Our neighbourhood is more 1960's and 1970's houses, but the trees area all big and mature and there are parks everywhere, so it's also very pretty. I took a stroll down our street the other night when I bused from work, and everyone keeps their yards immaculately cleaned and manicured (ours is currently not, and I'm not typically known for my 'attention to detail and order'). Interesting side-note actually, the couple who live there right now are Pagan (from what they were wearing in their wedding photos - not that I looked ;) ), and they seemed to have planted a whole bunch of different things around the yard. So it'll be fun to see what all she has - I'm hoping maybe some herbs (though I'm hoping to move mine with me anyway). Not that being Pagan means you grow herbs, but hey, you never know... ;)

Anyway, lots to think about. It's getting harder and harder these days not to lose myself in a daydream, but soon enough we'll be in full work-mode, should be interesting to say the least.

Well off to do the dishes!

2007-04-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

So I was reading a borrowed copy of Harrowsmith Country magazine, and they have a whole section featuring long-forgotten and, in some cases, completely disappeared, heirloom seeds. Made me want to start up an apple orchard or something. One thing is for sure, garden-grown produce tastes WAY better that grocery store stuff (because grocery store veggies and fruits barely have a taste at all). I also read, interestingly enough, that the animals on farms, that a hundred years ago had been bred to withstand harsh seasons, drought, disease and could basically exist on their own with little to no human intervention, have all but disappeared as well. Replaced by cows that produce more milk (but are so inbred that 90% of Canada's herd of dairy cows were produced using 11 bulls, one of which has a severe defect which will no doubt affect all the rest of the offspring), and turkeys that carry so much breast meat that they suffer from heart-attacks if not slaughtered soon enough, and chickens that have no mother instincts left, and have to be inoculated constantly as their immune system is so weak. It's sad to see that we all depend so much on technology and modern medicine, etc., that even our ANIMALS now can't live without it. Apparently there's a movement to revive, or at least preserve, the bloodlines of those 'hardier' animals from yester-year, but big-time farmers won't give them a second thought. So I came off the the bus this morning wanting to buy some 'heirloom' laying hens for our new backyard (provided we get it), however I think the neighbours might have a problem seeing as we're buying in a suburb. :)

Maybe I can buy a few to keep at my Mom's or something. :)
While I'm on the whole 'rural' kick, there's another thing I'm interested to try. Apparently there is a movement to try to eat locally produced foods, as a way to support your local farmers, and as well, to try to slow life down a bit. I guess when you think of all the millions of imported foods available to us each day, we often don't really stop to think about what we're eating. I wonder (and it's been suggested that perhaps this is so), if we were to eat a diet of produce that could be grown locally, would we not be better off in terms of receiving the right nutrients for the right times of year? I know that in winter, I crave stews, chilis, cabbage, the 'winter' type foods that aren't available or desirable throughout the summer. Conversely, in the summer, the thought of stuffing myself with fresh baked bread, cheese and chili is enough to make me gag. Anyway, while I'm not ready to give up the foods I eat now, I was thinking maybe we could start trying to buy our summer veggies and fruits from roadside stands and/or the market, instead of the store. And if I get my wish and we have a new house this summer, I hope to plant a small garden (it'll be late in the season by the time I start) so maybe we can grow some yummy veggies ourselves.
Anyway, we're slowly slogging through another hectic, high stress, low money season. Last Spring was like this too. We haven't heard back from the accountant yet on the taxes we're going to owe (and I'd rather not know yet), we put in an offer on the house and are now trying to scrounge up enough money for the closing costs, down-payment, mortgages on both houses (for at least one month), and any repairs/decorating that needs to be done at both places. Gonna be a high-credit, high-interest, no spending cash kinda year I think! The good side is, once we get tenants in both apartments, that house will pay for itself, and we can focus on our new house, complete with two cats and our doggit. :) The other nice thing is we would be moving to Aylmer, which is 40% English speaking, filled with green space, along the waterfront, and full of quaint little shops and older houses. Very pretty area to live in. :)
So, as usual, I'm of course, finding it hard to concentrate on the tedious tasks at work, however, if I want to make this work for us, I guess I better get my head out of the clouds and do something semi-productive today. Keep your fingers crossed for us!!
xo

2007-04-04T06:39:00.000-07:00

Introducing the long-awaited newest member of our family (drum-roll please) my new DOG!!!!! :) After a few years of dropped hints and continual scouring of humane society websites (so I could bombard poor Luc with pictures of cute doggies in the pound), I have finally lucked in, not only in that I got a dog, but I got a FABULOUS dog. He's an 11-month old purebred male German Shepherd, originally destined for the conformation show ring, and since (lucky for me!) headed for a pet home, from a well-respected breeder with an amazing line of dogs. I had the good fortune of a chance meeting with him two weeks ago when I was down visiting my parents, and he pretty much sealed the deal with me when he ran right up to me, gave me kisses and let me take him for a walk on his leash with no trouble at all. (In the past I have a bad history of German Shepherds taking one look at me and making a b-line in the opposite direction, so this was a promising start). :) He's not a huge dog, which is great, and he's gorgeous - with a plush coat and dark features (can you tell I'm in wuv with him already?).
Anyway, Luc has been kind enough to relent to my endless bugging, begging and pleading and has agreed to welcome him into our family. :) I can't wait to start obedience training him (in May) and now I have a companion to keep all the bad people away.
So continues my week of planning, e-mailing, shopping, arranging, half-angry trips to the store to lug oversized 100lb boxes of fencing home in my Cavalier, cancellations of many 'engagements' with friends (sorry guys!!) and general disarray which has caused me to be excited one minute and burst into tears the next. One thing I know for sure is that anything that takes this much work to prepare must definitely be worth something in the end, I'd almost feel 'weird' if it was as easy as 'order dog - dog comes home', however it has had its challenges over the last few days that have definitely tested my will to make this work. (And so far, I believe I'm doing alright - despite those people who have offered their two-cents worth of crappy unwarranted comments and negativity that have only served to reinforce the idea that people suck and dogs are wonderful). So starts my journey toward becoming a hermit dog-lady. :)

2007-03-19T16:35:00.000-07:00

Here's an excerpt on Ostara (one of my new favorite holidays because it signifies a beginning to the end of all this snow!!!)

"Ostara: Celebrated between March 20 and 22, Ostara (or spring equinox) is one of the two times of the year when night and day are of equal duration; it is a holiday of balance. Ostara is a time to rebirth our new selves, clear away the clutter in our minds, and wipe the slate clean in our lives. See life in nonextreme terms - neither too terrible nor too fantastic. In nature, flowers are blooming and the world is abuzz with new life. Ostara rejoices in the beauty of our unique selves and in playing with impish delight. Find balance, plant individual expression, believe in abundance and fertility, face fears, cry and allow for all emotions. This sabat represents dawn on the Wheel of the Year..."

I'm very excited that Spring is on its way, but I'm also trying not to get TOO excited because winter is still pelting us with snow and icy winds. I took a walk this evening, and it was pleasant enough, being that it was 0 degrees outside, but with the wind it was a lot colder, and as I was walking along looking at people's trees and gardens, etc all covered in snow, and the warm glow of the lights in their houses shining out into the cold blue night-time air, it seemed a whole lot more like we were about to hit December. (Shiver). I'm so ready for Spring.

I can feel that I am getting restless too - I spend countless hours a day doing mind-numbing tasks at work, and between times am sneaking to read gardening articles, look at lawn care stuff, dream up projects for decorating our rooms inside, drooling at the new spring and summer fashions, and today spent quite a bit of time looking at the activities this rollerblading club in Ottawa offers (I signed up - can't wait!)

So I am trying to remind myself that winter's not done yet, and I'm forcing myself to try to relax and enjoy the cozy down-time we have right now because it won't be long before we're working on a million things at once around here. I have big plans to redo a couple rooms that have been bothering me in the house, and Luc and I both want to tackle the lawns and stain the deck and fences (not to mention adding a section of fence, you know, just incase I ever get a DOG).

We definitely have our work cut out for us, but I'm soooo looking forward to it. The downside is that I have been hearing that we're in for an abnormally cool spring and summer. I hate cold summers. We had one three summers ago, I remember, there were few days that I could take a walk at lunch and not have to bring a jacket because the wind was so cold, and out on the river we couldn't swim it was so cold.

So here's hoping it's warmer than they say... (Fingers crossed).

Anyway, until it's warm outside, I have a ton of stuff to get through inside - like Mom's site (yes, I still plan to redo it!!), some sewing projects if I ever get off my arse and into a fabric store, and lots of cleaning because every closet and drawer in this house is jam-packed with junk. For the first time ever I feel like I need to 'purge' the house of unnecessary things. This is not at all common for me, I normally hoard things like there's no tomorrow (Luc can attest to that), but for some reason, I can feel the junk behind those cupboard doors (I"m going crazy, yes) and it bothers me, so I have to clean it out!

Anyway, my spirits are slowly lifting because, as my excerpt eludes to, I see this as a new beginning in the year, where things start fresh and life kind of picks up. There's a lot to look forward to - from a painting course I found that takes place at different outdoor locations around Ottawa, to our yard projects, to rollerblading and BBQing on our back deck with our (hopefully) new BBQ. :) I think this is going to be a fun summer, regardless of the temperature as we had another couple of friends just move into an apartment near our neighbourhood, so summer dinner parties on the deck, here we come! :)

2007-03-10T13:46:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty stressed out lately. I need a good vacation or at least a little break from work I think! One nice thing though, is that on weekends, I get to relax and do whatever I want, which includes standing on a kitchen chair with Zappa climbing up the back of my jeans with his damn claws(!!) and taking pictures of my cozy home that I love so much. :) It's nice to remember there are corners of the world that are all your own, where work stops at the door and sanity returns (or, like me, you can run around in circles, displaying your INSANITY and not have to worry about it). :)
Zappa cuddling with his budddies, and Cricket hanging out in the living room, listening to some Norah Jones. :)

Going to see '300' tonight. Should be an interesting movie - it was filmed near Montreal, with no scenery whatsoever, all green-screen. Well, gotta go cook some steak and taters!! :)

2007-03-03T20:08:00.000-08:00

So another b-day has come and gone and I am finally 1/4 of a century old - 'over the hill' as Jessica Simpson would say. ;)

Yesterday was a nice day in a way because I was tired, (as usual!) and it decided to dump a crap-load of snow on us, so there was literally NO ONE at work, so I could afford to relax a wee bit.

Luc had a basket of flowers delivered to my office (sweet boy that he is) - it has mini hostas, african violets, ferns, those cute pink winter flowers that I can NEVER remember the name of, etc. in it. So I moved 'Octavius' the testing worm into his new gigantic home (the plants are growing in soil, not cut, so it will hopefully last a nice long time!). Very nice to add some greenery to my office anyway. :)

So at 2:00 my boss said 'well I am going to go bike shopping' so I said 'well, I'm going home' and that I did - to take a glorious nap (naps are always glorious on a week-day afternoon). Then we went out for dinner with friends. Myranda made a 'luscious' chocolate cake (that girl has the magic touch in the kitchen, I swear), and the restaurant gave me a $25 gift certificate, which was a lot nicer than a bunch of waiters banging on pots and pans and singing at the top of their lungs or whatever. The place we went to, George's, was really nice too - very 'posh' - it's new. I wouldn't have chosen the name 'George' as it doesn't represent 'posh' or up-beat, or modern to me, but oh well.

Anyway, I guess that's it (I just finished entering plant-related ramblings on my garden blog so I'm feeling all blogged out).

One last thing before I go - I decided to wash up this old 'Crown' fruit jar that I'd found in the shed. It has the original glass top with a really old rubber seal and the big metal screw-on top. When I got it clean, I realized it's really nice, and probably an antique. I wish I could figure out how old it is - the bottom says: 1932 with a D inside a diamond (I did learn that E inside a diamond represented Eatons, so this must have been sold in a store that started with a D maybe?) and the # 13. I read too that jars with #13 on them are supposed to be rare because superstitious people apparently would smash them or throw them out. The numbers can represent anything from the machine number, to the number of jars the particular worker made that day, etc. No site I've found has explained how to figure out the year, but 1932 would be wicked cool. ;) Anyway, so it's now my seed-packet holder. :)

Sorry for the rather 'lame' post, but I need some zzzz's.

2007-02-28T17:16:00.000-08:00

I made blueberry muffins the other day. Have to say they turned out alright, definitely 'old fashioned' in a way (ie: heavy) but I prefer my blueberry pancakes I think - will post the recipe next time!!

So I have tons to write about but my eyes have all but dried up into my head from staring at a computer screen all day and all night. So I think I'll save my 'woes' about turning 25 for another day. :) (You're all spared for now!)

We took a nice long walk tonight with Myranda and Pogo, which was a co-incidental thing that was nice. We were all set to go take the movies back to Blockbuster on foot (about a 15-20 minute walk to get there I guess) and Myranda came in the front door and asked for the movies. Turned out they were going for a walk too, so we all went together.

One sad thing, they discussed how they're going to look at a house on Saturday. It's a rent-to-own offer (which makes me suspicious - note to self, pull a Ginny-Chonga and investigate thoroughly)... ;) I told them they're not allowed to go too far, because I'd miss them, and I would. For some silly reason, as I hit 25, and I look back on my short life filled with good and bad memories and a pile of 'don't do that again' lessons, I have a strong urge to gather all my friends and family closer. I don't know why, but it seems like I'm crossing the 'threshold' into my late 20's with some regrets about losing touch with various people along the way, or maybe not apologizing for things when I should have, and I don't want to continue the trend.

I guess I have facebook.com to blame for it mostly, as I was happy in my own little universe until I realized how many people are out there, who I have shared some piece of history with, that I still consider a friend and who I never talk to. It's funny to think that one day they might not be there, and where will that leave me? I think strong bonds with friends and family are the 'riches' of life - you can't get better than a good conversation over five cups of coffee and two giant pieces of chocolate cake with a girlfriend, or feel as comfortable and relaxed as you are when you're making dinner with your Mom. I just think we sometimes need to stop and appreciate that we have people in our lives that, no matter what their 'role' is, good or bad, make it colourful and interesting, and I for one tend to neglect it out of shyness, laziness and lack of confidence in myself. People are also wonderfully complicated and often-times disappointing, but it's one of those can't live with em, can't live without em kinds of things I think. I think it's time I try to make a bigger effort, so people watch out, you're about to be hounded! (Or not?)

Speaking of hounded, a weird thing today, someone from a company I've never heard of e-mailed me personally and asked if I was still interested in a Quality Engineer opportunity. I had no clue who they were and really don't remember ever sending something to them, so I wrote them back and asked them for more info, not bothering to mention that I have no clue who they are. Nice to have people do the leg-work for you though I guess! Though I looked at their site and it's like a family-run consulting business or something: http://marlerassociates.com/ Not too sure about that one, and I'm happy where I am. I wonder if they're trying to 'poach' resources from other firms? Gutsy... Wonder how much they pay... ;)

Well, I think I need to get some early shut-eye.. Apparently there's a huge winter storm watch in effect for tomorrow (I have mixed feelings - I love a good storm any time of year, but I'm kind of on this "SPRING" kick now.. ;) ) Anyway, I should take the day off, but there's a guy coming in to look at how we do our jobs and make 'suggestions', wouldn't want mine to be 'should show up for work'... ;)

2007-02-25T12:39:00.000-08:00

Well, I feel like I probably should have a lot to say, considering I haven't been on in a few days. But I'm so tired today, it's almost too much effort to try to string coherent thoughts together.

So here are two pictures that I finally was able to take (our camera's batteries are shot, and last only for about 5 minutes, and of course are rarely charged, so picture taking opportunities are few and far between these days). Here is my finished painting of my girl.

And here is my beeeautiful (soon to be properly restored) sterling silver bracelet. :)

Anyway, we had a nice evening last night - the guys had their "guys' night out" at the White Cowbell concert, and we gracious girls drove them into Ottawa and dropped them off, then went back and picked their sorry arses up (even though they were SUPPOSED to have taken a cab).

We rented chick flicks and ate grapes and brie and crackers and strawberries and cookies and popcorn and pretty much anything else we could think of (oh yeah there was french bread and paté)... And all that that was after we ordered pizza. ;) Anyway, astonishingly (and we eventually figured out you have to decide when to make it stop) the one who ate the most food was the 1 1/2 year old little girl that my friend Myranda was looking after. It was actually a bit surprising that, after the first few awkward minutes, I got over my 'fear' of her, and actually had an enjoyable evening playing with her. For once I got to speak French to someone who a) can't speak back so she HAD to listen to me, and b) was pretty much on par with my own vocabulary level. ;)

It was funny too, at one point, not too long after she'd gotten here, Luc came out of his room, looked around the living room and said 'wow, that's a LOT of mess for such a little thing!' - she'd found every cat toy, every stuffed animal, every blanket and pillow, and, along with her own toys and blankets, had tossed them all over the room - it looked like a small tornado had gone through there. ;) Anyway, she was cute, and kept us busy throughout the evening. She was very good with my cats, which impressed me a lot (thanks to Myranda's 'parenting' - her real mother is a 21-year old party-girl that dumps the poor kid off on anyone she can find pretty much, so Myranda tries to look after her as much as she can).

I thought I'd make my own contribution to her young life, so I taught her how to brew a pot of coffee (a useful skill if I may say so myself), ;) but brewing coffee with a 20lb giggling baby on one arm makes the task a bit more difficult. It was funny - I smelled the open can of Tim Hortons coffee, (mmmmm :) ) and she smelled it and wrinkled her nose - so Becky taught her her first English word, which was 'yuck'.

All in all, a fun evening. I certainly don't want kids at the moment, but renting other people's would be a fun idea now and then. ;)

Well, off to take a nap now, I'm exhausted...!

2007-02-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I am in a very good mood today. I just got back from Zellers (see my garden blog to hear all about the neat stuff they have for the garden!). I am getting sooo excited for winter to be over! Becky and I discussed our plans to go rollerblading three times a week along the canal this time. At least now that I have a car, I can make sure we do it, because my only argument against it last year was that I had to take the bus with my rollerblades there and back, which added over an hour of travelling time to my already short evenings.

I also went online and found a TON of things to do on weekends in the summer, from giant community garage sales, to gardening shows, to Tulip Festival and the Festival of Lights. Plus, we're planning to do a lot of short trips this year. We'll be going to Toronto to the zoo in May (baby animals!), possibly to the Rocky Horror Picture Show in Toronto (who doesn't love parading around the streets in lingerie? - Note to self, better get off your ass and start exercising or you'll be the only 'Janet' in 'fat pants'), and hopefully to the East Coast in the summer for a week. :)

So speaking of 'fat pants', today is 'Fat Tuesday' or 'Mardi Gras'. It's the day of 'gluttony' and reckless abandon, where people get to over-indulge in all their sinful-icious behaviours before abstaining from them totally during Lent. I am neither Catholic nor Christian, however I am going to give this Lent thing a try, but I've put in some 'clauses' to ensure I am not going to kill myself here. ;) First, I am going to give up swearing (or at least cut back), and I'm going to give up eating junk food during the week (with the hope that once I've weaned myself off it during the week, I won't crave it on the weekends). I've also started my walks again in the evening, which I love (went by Benjamen Moore's again tonight to drool over the wall-coverings :) ).

So hurry up Spring, I'm done with hibernating!

Oh, I almost forgot, I received the nicest gift I've ever been given for my birthday on the weekend from my Mom and Dad. It's a beautiful silver bracelet (engraved with flowers) that is over 120 years old!! It was given to my great Grandma for her 21st birthday back in 1885. I almost cried when I unwrapped it! My camera's not working right now but once I get it all polished up, I'll put a pic up to show it off. :) Thanks Mom!!

2007-02-16T06:25:00.001-08:00

TGIF! So, once again, I'm all dressed up on a Friday where everyone else is in jeans. I have another interview this afternoon with one of our clients. I guess the one okay thing about a Friday afternoon meeting is that people are generally a bit more relaxed because they know the weekend starts pretty much as soon as we leave the boardroom. Anyway, I would have prefered to wear jeans, but what can you do... Actually, I really need to, yet again, update my wardrobe. This is a never-ending cycle for me which I thoroughly resent. I may have mentioned it before, but when I was in PEI, things were so SIMPLE - there was no pressure to wear the latest designer anything, everyone was very casual, very friendly, very laid-back. None of this constant evaluating what I'm wearing that day, how my makeup looks that day, how tall/short I am, whether my footwear truly does match my shirt colour, etc that I put up with on a daily basis here in downtown Ottawa (which, laughably, is known for it's total LACK of 'chick style' that Montreal seems to flaunt effortlessly). Anyway, I hate trying to find the balance between office-preppy (suits, dress pants and frumpy blousses), modern fashion diva (you should see all the nice jeans, cute boots, fabulous woolen coats with pretty designs and cashmere scarves all these girlies are wearing - I keep telling myself they're the ones who make $60,000/year and still live at home with Mom - and I do know a few like that), and then there's my natural 'bum' side where I love to curl up in a pair of faded jeans, a few layered t-shirts and a comfy sweater with a pony-tail. Unfortunately, unless you make $150,000/year I am not sure how you're expected to afford all that. Not to mention we have a closet that is half the size of a normal closet and which is shared by both of us. We also don't own a dresser of any kind so EVERYTHING is piled in the closet. I buy new clothes and the closet 'eats' them - they get swallowed up in the never-ending mess that is my wardrobe. It's frustrating too, that no matter how much I buy, I never have things that 'go' together and it's impossible to see what you own.

~Sigh~... So once again I'm making mental notes about the 'essentials' that I need. Unfortunately, there are about 3 new 'essentials' I come up with each day. My sister says I'm just in a 'I want' phase, and shouldn't buy anything until I snap out of it. Maybe so - last night we went shopping for a b-day present for my Dad. Every store was filled with things that called to me from the shelves - pretty blue dishes (I've been wanting some), all the new gardening stuff and seed-starting kits, paper pots you can plant directly into the ground, flower pots in every different colour (I caved and bought three on sale for $1 each), etc. etc. Then there's the fabric stores, the Home Sense store, Benjamen Moore (I took a walk in -25 the other night just so I could go stare in their window and dream of redecorating our terrible bedroom), and so much more... I can't help it! I think I have held off buying things for too long and now I want/need EVERYTHING!

Anyway, so this weekend I'm staying out of the stores. Good thing for me, I'm going to Napanee, (though my shop-aholic mother is there) to celebrate my Dad's b-day and visit with the family. Should be fun, we haven't had Steve and Luc and the family together for over a year. We're going to yuk yuks too, which is fun. :) Anyway, it's good timing, I think I could use a little fresh country air and 'simple' living for a couple of days. Horsies, here we come! (It is especially welcoming after listening to my boss pitch to yet another person his idea of outsourcing my f***ing job to INDIA. I'm going to buy a potato farm, in PEI, where no one can find me (hard to hide there maybe but who cares) and then at least I won't have to deal with idiots anymore).

:)

2007-02-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

Hm, seems that they've released a movie 'Bridge to Terabithia', based upon the novel by Katherine Paterson which was what my site-title was based upon. Here I figured I was being original (I read the book way back in grade 6 and actually remembered it which is unusual), and when I tried various combinations of words with 'Terabithia', all the blog urls were taken already! Well, I tried... :)

2007-02-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, sweet February 14th... Just oozing 'wuv' and 'CONSUMERISM'... ;) Luc and I have decided that we are not going to fall prey to the whole Valentines Day brainwashing that the media and retail stores inflict upon us all every year. If you think about it, who have you heard say anything about Valentines Day recently? Bet you saw it in a shop window, in an ad on TV, or maybe the morning news had a segment on 'better not forget to buy those roses' like mine did this morning. I bet you didn't hear coworkers, friends and family going around excitedly whispering their plans to surprise their loved one(s) with some expensive 'sweet nothings'. Why? Because, as I see it, no one really looks forward to Valentines Day. At least not for the sake of the day itself. Sure, people look forward to the gifts that guilt-stricken, peer-pressured partners buy for them, but only because the media works it up to be 'if you receive gifts, and thus are in a relationship, you are a member of some 'elite' group of people' which is of course total BS. As far as I'm concerned, it's not any more special than any other day. Infact, those days where you spontaneously do something nice for someone rank far higher on the scale of importance than all those Feb. 14ths where you went running into the nearest Laura Secord at lunch time to join the mile-long line-up of people who are all scrambling to get something, anything to avoid the 'You forgot! You must not care about me!' episode... I figure that doing anything on V-Day because you 'have to', really undoes any meaning behind the gesture(s).
That's not to say that showing your loved one that you care for them on any given day (including V-Day) is a bad thing. Infact, I did buy some home-made chocolates for us to share, but the proceeds help the Alzheimer's society. We will probably make dinner together too (but we do that often), and maybe watch a movie. I think that, handled properly, V-Day can serve as a special day where you take time out of your busy schedules to celebrate and acknowledge all the special people in your life. With that in mind, making a meal together, listening to a favorite cd together, maybe taking a walk or going to a movie together, in a sense, giving the gift of TIME (which is the most precious of our resources) over some tacky diamond-'whatever' is the best way to both really get something out of the day. If you want to give something tangeable, do the dishes and let your loved one curl up on the couch for an hour, or make them a card (don't let Hallmark do the talking for you). Either way, I'm glad that Luc and I share the same viewpoint about this day. No stress here! ;)

2007-02-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

When I listen to Norah Jones, I think green fields, bumble bees, white cotton sun-dress, old weathered back porch, blues music and iced tea. So now I'm sooo excited because she's coming to Montreal in May!! I have her newest CD and it's just as great as all the ones before it (actually I find each one she puts out is a little better than the last). Honestly, I love all different kinds of music, and many different artists, but Norah is my favorite for relaxing in the evening (I'm sure my neighbours wish it wasn't because I usually feel the need to add a howl or two of my own to her songs). Listening to her takes me out of the city and plops me smack in the middle of the deep south (not that I have a clue what the deep south really is like, but it has to be sweet, slow, romantic country compared to busy concrete boring that is the city). Actually, PEI captured a lot of that feeling too. And Saskatchewan. There's just something so beautiful about those places. Like the grass is greener (isn't it always?), the sky is bigger and bluer (and not obstructed), you can actually SEE the stars at night, and when you sit and daydream on a sunny afternoon, time seems like it stops for a moment. I don't find that here. Maybe it's just because I own an house now and there's always something to do, so sitting and doing nothing is usually rudely interrupted with thoughts of 'oh, crap I have to do that, and that, and I forgot about that...' and within minutes I'm running for a day-planner or a scrap of paper to jot down yet another job list... But also there's usually something around - neighbours, kids, dogs, cars, whatever, that break that 'moment'. I need a country home someday!
Anyway, so yet another thing to look forward to in May. Along with that of course is SPRING!! I noticed yesterday, and today, that you can see it in the sunshine. It's shining a little warmer than before maybe, I don't know, but when I look at it, instead of that pale winter sun that makes me want to hibernate, it's a warm yellow sun that whispers 'go buy a pretty skirt for spring'... and maybe some matching shoes... ;)
I can't wait until we can go home and open the doors and windows and let fresh air flow through the house, and eat out on the back deck, and dig around in the garden in the evenings, and take long walks after dinner with the sun still UP... I'm just making myself full of hope and we have two more months to go before it's really any warmer, but I checked the Farmer's Almanac yesterday and they say that it's supposed to be unseasonably hot and dry this spring with a cooler and dry summer. Sounds good to me! We were discussing too that we may be doing a road-trip with our friends to the East Coast again this summer. I hope so!
Anyway, until then, it's back to the daily grind, and hurrying from one building, through the freezing cold, and into the next. But the green is coming, it's definitely in the sun... :)

2007-02-05T16:05:00.000-08:00

So Groundhog Day, (or Imbolc for those that care), has come and gone, and passed quite nicely with lots of clouds and snow. This supposedly should mark the end of our Winter and the dawning of a new Spring... Naturally, because we live in the freezing North, winter is only just getting started, and today is proof, after a weekend of a comfortable -6 to -13, we're now sitting somewhere in the -20's with windchill warnings of up to -40.

Anyway, so after my 'down-time month' (January), I tried to get a list together of things I hope to accomplish in the coming year. It's already two pages long and growing all the time. Half of it I probably won't even get to, but at least I've written it somewhere to acknowledge it I guess. :)

This is the 'holiday' where you are supposed to think of a way to introduce something new into your life (because two feet under the snow, supposedly somewhere, there is new life beginning). However, I haven't been able to choose just one thing that I want to introduce into my life really. I figure I have time though, since our spring doesn't really start until April. ;) Yes I'm cheating already. I think I'd like to get back into doing yoga. The studio I used to go to also has classes that teach you how to meditate, which would be neat. Apparently (according to one of those scientific mags that Luc always reads), it actually helps develop parts of your brain that otherwise would never get used when you meditate. I like the 'zoning out' factor. Heavenly.... ;)

Well, back to hibernating for now- maybe I'll go finish massacring my new pants for work.. (ie: attempt to hem them).

xx

2007-01-31T08:12:00.000-08:00

Dog Rant

So, my biggest 'want' in life at the moment is a dog. Well I've always wanted a dog, but now that I've been thinking more about it, I think we really could make living with a dog WORK and it would be great for me! I could finally take walks outside in the evenings without being afraid, I could go to dog classes, and meet people, and have a devoted companion to keep me company!

So I went online and started looking for used dog runs, etc. and stumbled across the SADDEST bunch of ads I've seen in a long time.
Pictures of people holding their puppies (who are for sale) up by the front legs, just dangling them in the air, people getting rid of their 10 or 11 year old, sweet-eyed golden lab because they had a baby (and the pic there broke my heart too - it has a b-day hat and some hawaaian lays on, you can tell it was once a truly LOVED dog), people giving away their kid's best friend (the dog who sleeps in Johnny's bed each night) because hubby is too lazy to take allergy medications to stop his sneezing, posts by ignorant jerks who say things like 'we bought a puppy from a mill the other day - it was so sad, the dogs were all in very bad shape. We noticed the one the guy showed us had a gash on its leg, and when we asked about it, he put it back and grabbed another one. We took the one with the gash because we felt sorry for it'... Why the HELL are you buying from a MILL!!!???
For all of you ignorant people out there, please please please educate yourselves: http://www.nopuppymillscanada.ca/home_page_2.htm
And if you are looking to buy a dog, do not buy from a back-yard breeder - those people posting in the free-ads papers (and online) who claim they have 'champion bloodlines' and 'CKC registered' dogs, may have that, but that doesn't mean they're a reputable breeder. It means they found out their dogs decend from some noteable bloodline somewhere (and many do), and decided to pay the $50 fee to register themselves as a kennel. I know, I did it for my sheltie puppy's former home, so I could show him. The people knew NOTHING about the breed but that they were both shelties.And finally, before you go to the petstore and drop upwards of $1000 on a dog, who probably came from a back-yard breeder and is an epilepsy patient (etc) waiting to happen, go to your local shelter and check out the sweet adult dogs who probably started out the same way, as a cute puppy in a petstore window, loved and then abandoned, or never loved at all. Look into their eyes and make sure you mean it when you promise to keep them forever, or go home and get yourself a video game or some other form of expensive amusement, as this is surely all you're looking for in a pet. At least when you throw THAT into the corner, it won't care.
Okay, I'm done. :)

2007-01-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

Blue Monday

So, apparently it's "Blue Monday" today, according to A-Channel Morning (annoying people but I have a habit of watching it religiously every morning). It's supposed to be the most depressing day, and I can see why it might because it's smack in the middle of the colder season(s), the bills are piled up high after xmas, resolutions are starting to be broken, and tax time is looming... Lucky for us, it was also a nice sunny day, which put me in very good spirits, I don't have a lot of bills really left over, tax time is tax time, I try to pretend it doesn't exist until a week before the deadline, and the days are slowly but surely getting longer, which signifies an end to the cold (though it really hasn't been that cold). SO!! I have decided to start a new tradition for my 'Blue Monday', I'm going to buy myself a nice potted plant for my office on this day every year (if I remember) because I was very nicely rewarded today when I decided to take a trip to the grocery store on my lunch break and discovered the Gardenia. The lady in that section was attempting to unpack all the boxes of plants, and it caught my eye (so GREEN!) so I dove in there and grabbed this pretty little shrub with big white flowers on it. It's now sitting on my shelf over my computer, and every so often I get a whiff of it's beeeautiful perfumey scent and it makes me smile. :)

I also found this site today, which led me to discover the book (named the same) and I'm going to pick it up tonight: www.yougrowgirl.com. I'm starting to try to plan out a garden of shade-loving plants for this year, with some large herb containers on my sunny deck. I can clearly use all the help I can get and this book seems to be exactly what I need... :)

Hopefully tonight I'll also get time to write down a 'guide to not killing my houseplants' as it occurred to me that my plants are all looking sad (or dead altogether) and it's really due to my total negligance ( I don't even know what kinds of plants they all are). That'll go on my fridge and hopefully things will start picking up.

Oh, and an interesting thing I learned this weekend, while we're on the topic of plants, don't put plants in your bedroom! During the day, when there's light, they breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen. Overnight, when it's dark, they do the opposite and breathe out carbon dioxide and IN oxygen! Not only that, but they're hard on anyone with asthma or allergies. I was surprised to learn all that when I've read so many articles in magazines that say 'want to purify your air? Grow plants in your home!'. I never would have guessed that my stocking up on plants, to help clean the air for Luc (who is an allergy AND asthma sufferer), would actually be hurting him.

Well, happy Blue Monday, go get yourself something green!!

2007-01-02T18:05:00.000-08:00

Soap

So I was home alone tonight, and decided to finally try my hand at making soap. So here are a few of the finished product. I am saving my 'special' soap making for the weekend. I'm hoping to use honey, ginger, cloves and oatmeal to make more 'natural' soaps. These ones here were made with special dyes and essential oils. The eucalyptus/mint has mint leaves in it and the chamomile/jasmine has chamomile in it. Fun! :)

2007-01-01T13:01:00.000-08:00

2007

Well, we rang in the new year last night with some 15 or so people in our house. It was a nice gathering, lots of new faces, free-flowing booze and piles of food. The shooter chess game was a definite hit too. :)

So this year is starting off a little 'strange', I guess. I went for a walk today and it was beautiful out, the sun was shining, everything was melting, it felt like a warm spring day, you'd never guess it's Jan. 1. My poor day-lillies are again starting to send up shoots along the foundation of our house. They'll be in for a rude awakening when they realize they have about four more months to be 'frozen' before they should be trying to grow.

I took down our tree today too, which always makes me a little sad. I comprimised by allowing myself some 'winter' decorations like my winter wreath, the lights outside, and a few candles and ornaments here and there on shelves, to stay until the spring time. We had a really nice, quiet, family-oriented Christmas (I even went to church with Mom and Becky which was quite nice), and a good New Year party with new and old friends alike. It was an interesting mix of French and English as well, but at least I got to practice some of my French as there were a couple people here who didn't speak a word of English. Anyway, I'm hoping the nice end to 2006 signifies that 2007 will be a good year.

Well, as it is my intention to NOT make this into a 'journal', I think I'll quit before I launch into some long-winded story about nothing and say 'Happy New Year to all', I hope we all find good fortune and love and friendship in life this year. :)

S

2006-12-26T16:02:00.000-08:00

Montreal

After four years together, and many not-so-subtle hints dropped, Luc finally brought me to see Montreal. It was beautiful, so many old buildings, cobblestone streets, narrow passages, and ornate architecture, offset by the 'haute couture' of Montreal. Very neat. Luc booked us a room in a beautiful hotel, called the 19th Century (or XIXe siècle)

http://www.hotelxixsiecle.com/ .

It was pouring rain when we ventured out for our walk. The benefit of that is that the colours came through so much better on the camera. And after finding a couple of umbrellas in this little shop, we were all set.

A picture of a smoked meat sign for my Mom. She had told me I *must* try real Montreal smoked meat. Unfortunately, due to my untimely bout of killer food-poisoning, I had to live with the picture and hope that next time I can try it!

Restaurant du Vieux Port, which was located, yep, you guessed it, right near the old port, was very nice. We ate dinner there Friday night. I had Santa Fé chicken. I told Luc it was my absolute favorite dish. Now I can't even think about it without gagging. :)

I think this was someone's residence... Lucky.

2006-12-21T06:06:00.000-08:00

Whenever and however you celebrate, may your winter solstice be filled with good cheer, reflection, hope for the rebirth of the light, and peace.

http://www.candlegrove.com/solstice.html#open

2006-12-12T10:20:00.000-08:00

I sometimes remember this poem, which I read in high school. It always struck me as so beautiful. Today a friend sent me a forward with kids playing with baby skunks. So I looked it up.

Excerpt from 'Valentine for Ernest Mann'
Once I knew a man who gave his wife
two skunks for a valentine.
He couldn't understand why she was crying.
"I thought they had such beautiful eyes."
And he was serious.
He was a serious manwho lived in a serious way.
Nothing was ugly
just because the world said so.
He really
liked those skunks.
So, he re-invented themas valentines
and they became beautiful.
At least, to him.
And the poems that had been hiding
in the eyes of skunks for centuries
crawled out and curled up at his feet.

2006-12-11T16:11:00.000-08:00

Well, sadly my painting class has come to an end... Well, technically my last night would have been this week but we're taking the train to Montreal for an xmas dinner party at Luc's work, so that won out.

Here are some of my paintings (please have mercy on me, I'm a beginner!!) The brightly coloured one was my first crack at trying to do something 'abstract'. The girl is still in progress. The lighthouse was from my trip down east. And the black and white one was my bad mood. :)

2006-12-01T07:10:00.000-08:00

It's snowing. I thought I would be a bit more excited than this, however, since I'm locked in the city today, the big white flakes against the concrete buildings just paint everything with a dull shade of grey. Boring.
So I went to my painting class last night in a foul mood. At least I was able to do two 'abstract' paintings with virtually no effort. They're not good, but I did find that it was nice to just let my mind wander, while my brush moved. I wasn't trying to create any particular mood or feeling or image, so I just let my subconscious bicker away with itself, mulling over this and that, and all the while my brush added shades of black and red to my canvass. It was quite a nice experience, but I grew tired very quickly and packed it in early (as did the rest of the class, I don't think the dreary rainy weather was helping much).
I have to sign up for my next class soon. I just received a new bout of inspriration today when I stumbled across an artist from Texas, Cyr McCurry. (http://www.cynmccurry.com/home.html) Her art is absolutely beautiful, and so realistic. I really have found I enjoy capturing 'real' objects on my canvasses, and I do thank my art teacher Agnes for pushing me to use colour when portraying my first person (from a magazine, but you have to start somewhere). It got me over my fear of doing flesh tones. I still have a ways to go with that painting, but I enjoy it immensely. My next class will be doing nudes, should be interesting (read: daunting).