Yesterday was Ash Wednesday... :)
This day marks the starting day of the first time I'll ever have given something up for Lent. I had heard of doing this before, and remember pitying those friends of mine who were busy turning down things like chocolate and sweets, or giving up TV, for forty days. However, I now realize just how refreshing and enlightening it might be to really challenge myself... I was reading on Lynn Jericho's blog (a beautiful blog - if you ever want to indulge in some thought-provoking spiritual discussions, without the whole fire and brimstone aspect, check it out)...

Anyway, she was explaining her view of Lent. During the 40 days, from Feb 6 to March 22, the point is to try to discover and then weed out the "three temptations" in your life. By doing this, it can serve to show you who YOU truly are, or at least allow a glimpse of yourself that may normally become buried or distorted when bombarded with outside influences. These influences often take the form of one or more of the three temptations:

Prejudice: not necessarily prejudice against others, it could be anywhere in your life where you allow dead thoughts (as she calls them), that come wafting up from the past, to colour your thoughts and responses to things around you NOW. This includes prejudice against yourself, against situations you find yourself in, and/or against others. I know for me, I often find situations where I think 'gee, that would be so much fun if I could do... (insert activity)' but then quickly dismiss the thought as those old ghosts come back to haunt me 'ya, but remember that time when you did something similar, and you were horrible at it'... Or in other cases where I find myself presented with something that, if I were open about it, might be truly surprising and wonderful in life, but I write it off as 'been there, done that', painting over it with my thoughts of another similar time and place, and allowing my original thoughts and emotions to cloud any new ones I might feel. In this way, I miss out. It's about allowing your thoughts to live in the present, to discover something in your day and embrace it with a sense of 'newness', ignoring all past experiences that might ruin your perception of the moment.

Addiction: of course, there are the standard addictions that we all hear about - drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. But you'd be surprised how other behaviors can become addictive too, often because we are doing them in order to hide from something that scares us or makes us uncomfortable. For myself, one big addiction I have is the internet. Some people might think that's a ridiculous statement, because the internet is not a 'bad' thing, I'm learning all the time, I have the world at my fingertips and I can always turn off the machine and walk away... But that's just it, I can't. If I do turn it off, I'm left with a void, a feeling of 'now what?' - and this even happens when I'm at WORK. I am bored, unstimulated, unhappy, and unfulfilled, unless I'm wasting my hours and minutes surfing endless websites about what buffalo eat in June, or where the word 'mango' comes from, etc. What's the real reason I'm surfing? Because I'm bored at work, because I like to know the answer to every question that pops into my head, because I'm afraid to live in the outside world where I might be rejected or disappointed. It's like I'm on an endless quest to be 'filled up' by false, flashy, entertaining websites, instead of taking satisfaction from getting my work done and maybe then enjoying a moment of real, not stolen, 'free time' to myself. Anyway, so addictions can be to anything, often once you remove the addiction, you'll find the thing underneath that you were hiding from, and maybe by facing it, you will find you're finally able to feel peace.

Fantasy: another one of my terrible afflictions... Not 'that' kind of fantasy. I'm talking about daydreaming your life away. Again, this is done, for me, with the Internet. Any minute of the day I can be instantly transported to a small villa in France, browsing pictures of quaint country cottages surrounded by swaying lavendar fields, and in the next moment, I'm checking out aerial views of the Great Pyramids, before studying a site about being a stay at home Mom or volunteering to help animals. The sky is the limit. But in the end, am I travelling anywhere? Am I meeting people? Am I enriching the lives of children or animals around me? Nope. I'm staring, glassy-eyed at a wide LCD screen two feet from my face in my sterile cubicle environment, surrounded by endless stacks of paper waiting to be pushed around. And at the end of the day, when I COULD be doing something exciting, I'm mentally worn out from all my 'exploits' and just want to trudge home to make dinner and mope around the house. For me, by removing the Internet, I would hopefully at first find a void, a void that is waiting to be filled with REAL life. Then bit by bit, perhaps 'real life' will begin to seep in around the edges, and suddenly I might find I'm too busy to bother with the computer. :) Of course, it doesn't have to be the internet either. It can just be thinking too much. Put me on a 40 minute bus-ride home with nothing to read or listen to and I'm suddenly off in a world all my own, sometimes so deeply immersed in it that even when neighbours smile at me, I don't see them (I had one actually clap at me to make sure I was okay, lol). Yet another avoidance technique - our world is full of them, MP3 players, books, computers, blackberries, or just plain old staring into space can fill an otherwise 'boring' space of time. But what if you realized where you were, took a look at the others around you, offered a smile, or your seat to someone who needed it, would you feel better? Probably! I can tell you, letting your imagination run wild is a totally unfulfilling experience because sooner or later the bus stops, you get out, and you're back to reality. A reality that can be rather bleak if you're busy thinking your life away, instead of taking action and doing something.

So, then, to augment all this 'withholding' of *fun* things, I also want to ADD something over Lent. I have made a list of 10 things I would do, if I had all the time in the world, and nothing to stop me (including my own fears). I'm of course not going to do half of them, but I made them small, baby-step sorts of things, and I'm hoping to maybe accomplish one or two of them over the next forty days. We'll see. Once I start to go stir-crazy because I can't touch the keyboard, I might just actually finish something. :)

Anyway, for those of you challenging yourselves, I wish you all the best of luck. :) It might not be easy or fun, or even possible, but hey, it'd be nice to remind ourselves who is boss in this lifetime, and believe me, it's not supposed to be Dell Computers... ;)
xo

So, at the beginning of January, I posted about a blog I'd found (called 'The Healthy Plate') on yahoo, where every month, the author (Mairlyn Smith) will give you one thing to ADD to your life, in order to achieve a healthier body and mind. Last month, her suggestion was to add one serving of fruits, and one of veggies to your diet each day. I have to say I didn't always succeed in doing so, but I did see an increase in my eating of salads and fruits (got my apple right here for later), and we were throwing out much less rotten produce every week from the fridge. :) Always nice on the wallet too. For February, this month's 'addition' to help you achieve overall better health is... (drumroll please)... 10 minutes of walking per day. If you already exercise, add 10 minutes of walking somewhere else in your day (ex: take the stairs, take a 10 minute walk around the block at lunch, get off the bus a stop or two early and walk the rest of the way, take a 10 minute break in the afternoon for a walk to wake you up). It only has to be 10 minutes (but if you really enjoy adding this in, you could also add two or three 10 minute sessions per day), and make sure it's a good, vigorous walk. None of this sauntering around the block at a snail's pace, dragging your heels. Walk with purpose. :) I'm going to try this out, as I do have slow times in my day, when my mind is fuzzy and no amount of trying can get me to concentrate on working. It's those times that I need to grab my coat and head outside for a 10 minute brisk stroll through the 'neighbourhood' before returning to my desk, hopefully refreshed and ready to work. I'm going to try adding a 10 minute walk in the morning, and one in the afternoon, to help me wake up better. :)
We'll see how long it lasts. ;)

Imbolc

(Yes, I posted this last year, but it saves me having to go waaaay back to last February)... :)

Celebrated on February 1 or 2, Imbolc or Brigid's Day marks midwinter. Animals begin to come out of hibernation and ewes begin lactating; light is returning. This is a time to acknowledge our individual gifts and feed our talents with supportive action. Imbolc is connected to the powerful new life awakening in the depths of the earth and thus also represents the rebirth and upsurge of personal power. Now we can plant seeds of inspiration, acknoledge the returning light, invoke patience, find virtue in perserverance, and inspire others. Symbols of the holiday are: seeds, wells, and fire.
Herbs and other plants for this sabbat include angelica, basil, bay, cinnamon, frankincense, myrrh, nettle, orris root, rosemary, rowan, and saffron.

If you're open to trying a Wiccan approach to welcoming in the dawning of spring and its warming light (especially welcome in the midst of all these crazy storms we are having), Jamie Wood, who wrote 'The Wiccan Herbal' that I often quote from, also suggests a nice little 'spell' (though it's not really a spell in the traditional sense, keep reading, you'll see!)... You need three things to do this - a yellow candle, a blue candle, and some basil oil, which you can either buy at a specialty shop, or make yourself by sealing fresh basil leaves in olive oil in an air-tight jar for at least 6 weeks before using. :)
As Jamie says, 'this spell is intended to remind you of the peace and importance of relaxation during the dark times, especially if a wicked case of the winter blues hits.'.. Perfect. :)
Now, prepare your candles - carve the word 'light' into the yellow one, and the word 'peace' into the blue one, then anoint them both with the oil. As you light the yellow candle, picture the first rays of sunlight filtering back into your life - imagine how the warm sunshine feels on your skin. Know that the same light already burns inside of you. Now light the blue candle and breathe 'deeply of peace and tranquility'. Say to yourself the word 'Serenity' three times, imagining what peace looks like in your life. Know that the calm of peace resides within you. :) I like this one.

I felt a similar sense of peace (somewhat begrudgingly, but it was there) this morning while standing in the cold at the bus stop. The bus hadn't shown up again (it seems to be rather unreliable at 7:30) and as I shivered and scowled, I caught sight of the trees across the street, ablaze with golden light. As I really looked at them, I could see the sunlight illuminating every branch, every shimmery piece of bark, every pinecone, and I thought 'warmth is coming'... Yay! Bring it on Mother Nature, I'm so ready... ;)

S

So I was browsing the shelves of a nearby bookstore a few weeks ago (it was too cold to walk around outside) and I happened upon a book that some of you (who know me well) would snicker at for sure - it's called 'The Power of Kindess - The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life'. I will admit that I was partially attracted to it because of the cover, at first, which is a basic white paperback, with a pretty green baby plant sprouting. In January, an image like that can be very inticing indeed. :) However, I also was a bit curious about the subject matter, as I have been known to feel often like I have no time for people, or friendships, or even relationships of any kind, and am often left feeling drained and frustrated when my interactions with others don't go the way I expect them to (which is all the time - people are unpredictable things, afterall)... As a result, I am often totally unfulfilled in life, bored, and perhaps a bit lonely (I do have friends, but they're mostly more like acquaintances and I tend to keep myself very closed off from others, which makes it difficult to form any deep friendships). I also have puzzled over why some people can come off so friendly and open, and instantly attract people to themselves, and EMBRACE that fact, while others (myself included in this category) come off as prickly, pushy, rushed, and basically unreachable; afraid that 'taking on a friendship' will mean having to add phone calls and chasing people around for their time to our already crowded and exhausting schedules. This, despite the fact that we (or I) yearn for more rewarding interactions with people.
So I began to read it. And what a wonderful (but challenging) set of ideas to live by!
So I thought I'd share. Each chapter discusses an element of expressing true kindess, and how that element, coupled with a shift in your life perspective, can open up vast possibilities for you, as well as making you an all-around happier person. Sounds good to me! :) The elements discussed are: Honesty, Warmth, Forgiveness, Contact, Sense of Belonging, Trust, Mindfulness, Empathy, Humility, Patience, Generosity, Respect, Flexibility, Memory, Loyalty, Gratitude, Service and Joy. Each is presented with a very down-to-Earth perspective, enhanced by interesting anecdotes, myths and stories, as told by the author, in a way that you could imagine yourself hearing them spoken by a friend, over a cup of coffee. He presents the ideas, but doesn't force them on you. However, when my mind at first resists some of the behaviours he suggests, he is quick to point out how our very make-up as humans NEEDS this kind of interaction with each other, and without it you become lost, depressed, lonely, unfocussed and ultimately dissatisfied in life, much like I've felt over the last few years..
Anyway, I thought I would maybe share each one (or an idea of it) but I'll throw it into another page (see the Sharing The Power of Kindness link on the right), as I don't want to bore anyone to tears unless they're curious. :)
Other than that, I just checked the forecast for Negril, Jamaica today, and it's a whopping +29!! Sure beats 'flash freezing', freak lightening storms, and high winds, (with rain AND snow) like we're seeing here in Ottawa today. :)
Just a few more weeks to go. :)
S

On the lighter (or darker??) side of life... :)

Ahaahaaahaahaaa!!!! According to Elle Magazine, this is one of Spring's hottest new looks... Honestly, you can tell fashion is starving if we're now ooohing and aaaaahing over an outfit that can be achieved with a pair of insane granny panties and a role of saran wrap... And one only needs to insert a metal fork into an electrical outlet and don their grandpa's oldest pair of glasses to achieve sheer sex appeal... Apparently... Owww! Smokin'.... ;)

I'd like to run through the aisles of that fashion show and knock a few heads together I think!

Ah! So I missed blue Monday - which was two days ago, apparently... That was the day that I had promised myself to buy a new plant to light up snow-bound life, and to kick off the start of a new growing season (at least, inside, anyway)... I think I'll have to go buy one today! I did acquire a new plant on Sunday, a pointsettia, but it's still recovering and I'm praying it's going to 'make it'... I had noticed it sitting by itself in the living room at my grandparents' farm. Seeing as they are now residing at their 'apartment' in Kemptville, I figured perhaps it would be a good opportunity to help out the plant, and add some more greenery to my dining room. :) However, silly me, I left it in the car for the afternoon, wrapped in a blanket, while I visited my grandparents. By the time I got home, it was withered and in quite the state of 'shock'... One interesting thing I noticed was that the withered leaves were warm to the touch - so much that it felt like it had a fever! Anyway, it's now hanging from the ceiling, infront of our long window in the dining room, and I'm hoping a little TLC will revive it to its previous 'perky' state.
So the next big day coming up is Imbolc (more on that later of course!), or Groundhog Day. It marks the end of the dark quiet months, and the time when new life begins slowly to stir underground. With the weather the way it has been, I've even heard birds in the morning lately that don't normally sing like that in the winter - makes me wonder if perhaps they've migrated a little earlier this year or something... I can already feel life picking up the pace again, as we head (at lightning speed) into February. I have to get myself organized so I can take things 'in stride' this year, instead of letting it all pile up and then come crashing down on my head in regular intervals like last year. :) Work is picking up, with several potential contracts coming down the pipes for me (in addition to my full-time one here). I'm busy preparing myself to give a presentation to the Director General of the House of Commons on Tuesday afternoon. Should be fun, I'm looking forward to it. It's strange, but I feel quite at home talking about the system, and what it can do for them, but ask me to talk about the weather, or myself, or anything 'theoretical' and I get flustered as hell... Anyway, where some bigger things are looming (our trip to Jamaica, our wedding in September, residing the apartments in the Spring), which all require a great deal of planning and money, incidentally, I'm slowly catching on to the art of not sweating the smaller stuff. I've decided that our own house does NOT need a remodeling makeover, which has alleviated a lot of pressure for me. I can now be content to buy key items for each room to make it 'complete' the way it IS, instead of always fretting about the fact I want to buy an X but can't until we take down this wall, and put up that shelf, and paint it this colour, and rip up the floors, etc. To heck with all that, I say! We're young, there's two of us in a decent sized house, the best thing to do is treat it like we did our apartment, accepting it for what it is now, and making it special in smaller ways. Just deciding that makes me feel so much better. :)
I also tried Waverly's suggestion of dividing up the year into 'themes' so as to know when to focus my energy on different activities, instead of carrying the whole load of ideas in my head, all the time, and then never feeling comfortable to devote time to any one of them for fear of neglecting the next. However, my attempts at dividing the year became difficult when I started trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to do this year. Things soon became cluttered and crowded when I thought of work, social life, exercise, gardening, crafty stuff, the house, the apartments, my relationship, traveling, etc. And the crazy part is, realistically, I won't do half of what I thought up anyway! But I know that I tend to think of March as being the time when I start to come out of my hibernation and start planning for the Spring. :) That's exciting. I'll be in Jamaica for the last 8 days of February, and will come back to the dawning of another year of gardening (slowly this time!) and big projects.
Anyway, happy not-so-blue Monday (even though it's late) - go buy yourself a cute fern for your desk - it'll brighten your day!!! :)
S

So, it's Sunday evening, and I'm using agonizingly slow internet at my parents' farm - so I've given up any hope of amusing myself by surfing the web and have decided to write something instead (knowing that it will probably take half the night to actually post it).

Anyway, I'd love to be watching tv at the moment but the dogs are all over me if I try to sit on the couch. At least if I sit at the computer, the three of them pile around me on the floor. I'm on the 'GSD' shift at the moment (meaning, the three german shepherds are inside with me for their hour of house-time). Then I have to still do the four crazy Parson Russell Terriers and finally, the old guys can come back in (a golden retriever, a sheltie, and a Parson Russell who isn't old but she's quiet).

So has gone every evening for me for the last four in a row. I arrived here Wednesday with my dog, Tigger, unpacked the van, and started my adventure as a 'farm girl' extraordinaire. Let me tell you, it's exhausting, though I am slightly proud that I have managed to get through it without killing anything.. :)

My day starts at 7:40 am, when the young terrier, who hasn't yet learned the wonders of sleeping in, begins to scream. (For those of you who haven't owned a terrier before, this is akin to what a regular dog would sound like if you ran over its leg with your car, or some other similarily horrible incident... They SCREAM, and I've timed one of them at two high-pitched barks per SECOND, in two-minute intervals while I'm trying to take a much needed nap...)

So I stumble out of bed and throw my boots on to greet the day (yes, on the farm, boots and pj's are incredibly functional and fashionable, don't you know). :) Anyway, so first off, I head out to the 'dog room' where I'm greeted with various ear-splitting screetches and bellows, and I grab the three GSDs and throw them into their run, enduring a literal 'pummeling' of claws and teeth as they excitedly greet me, to open the door to the outside run. That one done, I do it again, twice more, with the various terriers. Then I find somewhere for the old guys to go outside.

I then alternate trying to make coffee, feed myself, feed the cats, and get dressed with feeding the puppies and Tigger and making sure everyone has time to do their business before I close down the runs of the smaller dogs who need to stay warm.
That done, I throw on my horse attire (ie: it's allowed to smell like a stable) and head out to the barn to put the horses out into the fields, muck their stalls, change their water, put new bedding in stalls, put hay out for breakfast, and hay in stalls for night, and sweep the aisles, before changing stallions (one out at a time) and heading in for lunch (yes, it takes about 2.5 to 3 hours to get all that done by myself).

By this time, the dogs all need to go out again, so I do that while feeding myself lunch.

After lunch, I've been taking two of the GSDs for a walk to the back of the farm, and then I spend the better part of my afternoon cleaning up after whoever has decided to poop on the floor or track shavings across the floor (myself included), and rotating them through time in the yard, time in the house, and time in their runs.

I usually just start to settle into something relaxing, like thinking about opening a book, finding some good music to listen to, or whatever, when I realize it's 4:00. That's feeding time at the ranch. :) So I get back into my barn clothes and boots, and stomp out to the barn to bring the horses all back in, give them their grain and fill up their water dishes, and then lock down the barn for the day.

By the time I get back, it's time to feed the dogs. So I get all their dishes ready, then bring each group in and crate them with their supper.

During this brief lapse in animal company (minus the cats who are still following me around and throwing my stuff on the floor, jumping into the dryer when I'm loading it and not paying attention, and sitting on the dining room table), and Tigger, who eats in with me, I decide to try to make dinner. So I make some little thing for myself to eat, and scarf that down before Tigger decides he needs out again (he's having a tough time adjusting to the water so when he needs out, he means it), and so all the dogs need out.

After supper, I lock the runs down in the garage (as in, I close the doors to the outside runs, so it stays warmer in there) and I start the shifts of each group getting an hour inside with me while I attempt to relax. I just threw the GSD's out a few minutes early because they'd finally become quiet, when I heard a funny popping sound coming from the kitchen. They were in the washroom where I'd stowed a garbage bag, and were busy trying to eat a pizza box. Now the terriers are in and I am doing a fairly good job of ignoring their skittering little bodies as they fly all over the house, sniffing and nipping and getting into things... And now one of the old dogs is scratching and whining at the door.

I managed to handle this for five days. I have one more to go. I certainly couldn't do it forever though. I'd go friggin crazy... (Someone just opened a kitchen cupboard door, be right back...) Anyway, my day will end at 10:00 (I can't stay awake much beyond that, because of my helpful canine alarm clock), and will have involved one more shift of dogs coming in, and one more session of them all going out to do their business, before they all are brought in and put to bed with a cookie for being such 'good dogs'... :) I don't know how my parents do this!

Anyway, so yes, tomorrow it's back to Ottawa, back to a job that bores me to tears, and back to my own home, where I can hopefully learn to appreciate how unstressful it is to take care of just ONE dog, instead of 9...

'Night!
S

So, just in keeping with the second part of my resolution, which was to make healthier eating choices this year and restore my exercise program, here is an excerpt from Marylin Smith's blog 'the Healthy Plate'. I stumbled upon it this morning on yahoo and the refreshing thing about it is it's good old fashioned common sense, doled out in small steps. No miracle cures, or crazy birdseed diets. Her approach is to give you one thing to ADD to your lifestyle each month throughout the year, instead of taking away. So, for the month of January, if you're interested in being nicer to your body this year:

"This month all I want you to do is to add one more serving of fruit and one more serving of vegetables to your diet every day. That's it. That's all you do for the next month.
A serving of fruit is one medium-sized fruit, ½ cup (125 mL) cooked or canned fruit or ¼ cup (60 mL) dried fruit. Notice there is no mention of juice. You're probably drinking way too much juice anyway and I want you to eat the fruit not drink it. You only need ½ cup (125 mL) of juice a day which is a ton less than what most people are drinking. And when I say juice I mean 100 per cent juice. The real thing; not a fruit beverage, not a fruit cocktail, not a fruit drink. So eat more fruit, don't drink more fruit.
A serving of vegetables is ½ cup (125 mL) cooked or raw veggies or 1 cup (250 mL) of salad or leafy greens like spinach. Try to pick really deeply coloured fruits and veggies. Wash them well and eat the peel if possible. Of course that doesn't mean the orange rind, banana peel, onion skin, the list goes on. But apple peel, potato, peel, sweet potato peel, carrot, you get the idea, are all good. "

Yay, I can do this!! :)
S

Happy New Year and welcome to 2008 :)
Last year, the calendar companion I subscribed to suggested that at the start of the year, we should consider a new intention for the coming year, a quality to bring into your life. My intention for this year would be balance, across all areas of my life - friendship, work, play, thinking and doing, me and others, etc...

For example, where I have reconnected with many past friends on the internet over the past year, in the new year, I'd like to work on renewing and building on tangible friendships that I have here, the ones I've neglected for so long and are now hanging by a thread. Also, with my health - high on stress and low on time (or so I thought since my mind was racing all the time, while I aimlessly puttered around and got nothing done), I tended to opt for easy meals, canned everything, and gave up on my morning situps, my gardening, my evening strolls, etc.
Tonight I cooked a healthy, simple meal of peas, rice and pork chops tonight, and Luc and I both felt instantly better. No cream sauces, no canned veggies, no stovetop stuffing, just healthy basic foods. Also, my Mom and Dad gave me some pots and dirt and indoor gardening tools for Christmas and I spent an evening last week up to my elbows in dirt, plants and pots scattered all over the dog room, and me totally in a state of pure calm and relaxation. The next day I was in the best mood I've been in all year, and managed to share a wonderful evening with my sister, without getting tired or cranky as I normally would have. It was then that I realized I need to start doing physical things again and lay off the 'thinking and planning' that I do constantly. Also with my exercising - Luc bought a small corner tv stand and I set up my tv in the room I had originally planned to be my exercise room. Just need to find some cables for the dvd player and I'll be able to start my pilates again. :) Even simple things like doing the dishes - that used to be 'my time' where I'd turn on some music, fill the sink with nice hot water, and wash and dry the dishes by myself, which helped me unwind. Over the last few days I have returned to doing that, saving the dishwasher for only those days when time won't allow me to wash the dishes, or when we have too many to do. I'm hoping it will not only help me to find 'me time' again, but it will also hopefully help cut down on our insane electricity bill, which came in at $350 for two months - Eeeeek!
Finally, I want to strike a balance between work and non-work life... I am at a point in my career where I've coasted long enough and now have to invest a little time and energy into pushing it the direction I want it to go before it stalls altogether. With that in mind, I have to realize that for 7.5 hours a day, I am wholey 100% dedicated to work-related activities. So that if there's a 'lull' in my day to day work, I fill it with more work, so that I get things done, thus eliminating that ever growing to-do list, and I feel more satisfied with myself, instead of feeling guilty all the time. That would leave my evenings and weekends open for enjoyable things like painting, having coffee with friends, gardening seminars (I signed up for about 20, ha ha), and spending time with Luc. :)
Where does the internet fit in all this? Max 1 hour a day! To me, that actually sounds like a lot still, until I take into account that currently I spend on average 5-6 hours a day on it... :( That's crazy.
Anyway, in keeping with the theme, I have now hit my one hour limit. So I will say good night, and I wish everyone good health, happiness, a little adventure, and most of all a sense of balance in their lives throughout 2008.

Ta ta!
S

Merry ho-ho - I'm back at work today (Thursday), after a somewhat interesting Noel... Let's just say that, maybe due to a the fact they started the Christmas Season on November 1st this year in stores, most people were in crabby moods, totally tired and stressed, and well, xmas just wasn't the sparkling oasis that every year I wish it would be (and rarely is)...

I returned home with the evil thought in my head that everyone and their dog is totally messed up in life, that we're all just struggling along to survive, and that forcing ourselves to put on this 'happy happy joy joy' chirade while we all rush from here to there, meeting in a whirlwind frenzy of gift unwrapping, gorging ourselves on rich food (which ultimately leads to a nice stomach ache later on), and the endless driving back and forth to visit stressed-out family members just isn't worth the hassle. I came to the conclusion (as I do most years) that I'd much rather visit family on either weekend AROUND xmas, but not ON xmas, as our visits are much more enjoyable when there isn't so much hype surrounding them.

I found myself wishing we had children of our own, and that we could just stay home, where our pretty tree sits in the bay window, neglected, while we are running around the countryside. I really cannot wait for the day when we can wake up Christmas morning to the sound of excited kiddlies pitter-pattering around the tree, half-buried with treasures from 'Santa'.. And to be able to make eggs benedict with pemeal (sp?) bacon for breakfast, like my Mom always did, and opening gifts slowly and thoughtfully, actually taking the time to enjoy what each one contains, and to properly thank the ones giving them to you. Then maybe after brunch (and perhaps relatives could join us for that part if they live nearby) then we might go visiting. Or maybe not. I always loved Christmas day at our family's home. We'd get up really early in the morning and excitedly tiptoe down to the living room (at 2 or 3 in the morning, ha ha) and open our stockings. Then we'd play quietly with the toys and games we'd found in them, with only the light of the tree to go by (which always gave it a sort of magical feel) until our parents got up. Then we would be allowed to open our gifts from Santa only. Leaving the rest of the tree untouched while Mom made breakfast. After breakfast was over, we'd then sit back down infront of the tree and take turns opening our gifts. Then we had the whole day to relax in the living room, playing with new toys, trying on new clothes, watching tv, and all in all, just indulging in pure 100% relaxation time. Meanwhile, the turkey and big xmas dinner would be cooking in the oven, and we'd have a big supper before finally settling down to watch a movie or whatever and finally off to bed, our bellies full and our minds relaxed. THAT is how xmas should be, and will hopefully be again, once we have a family of our own...

There has been some talk in my family of our parents moving closer as well, so hopefully someday that will be a reality (speaking selfishly of course) and then we can also include them in our xmas celebrating, instead of doing this somewhat stressful 'rotation' schedule, where every second xmas we go to Luc's family's homes, instead of seeing my parents, and vice versa, which I think is hard on both of us. It's just kind of sad, as for example, this year, the way people's schedules are working, and with the amount of stress building throughout our family (due to many many factors, all out of our control), we will not be making the trip down to see my parents on New Years. I had been looking forward to it, however, after discussing it with my sister and mother, we have all decided that it's just too much hype and craziness to travel down there when people are working all in between now and New Years. I'm hoping that Becky and I will be able to take some time to go see them once Christmas is done and overwith, and things have settled down a bit with my grandparents. My parents are going on a cruise (bane of my existance at this point) and I'm hoping desperately that they can at least 'get through it' unscathed and will return home a bit more relaxed (doubt it though). My grandparents are also taking a very gigantic (and difficult) step and are moving into a home in a nearby town (about an hour from my place), due to my Grandpa's failing health, and that is weighing heavily on the family, my mother especially. So perhaps later on, maybe in February, I'll go spend some time down with them when there's no expectation, and we can actually appreciate seeing each other.

Ahhhh... So on to lighter things I suppose!! I did get some great gifts from everyone this year, including a coffee maker with a timer (yeh!!), a breadmaker (mmm, made italian bread last night!), a tripod for my camera (so perhaps images will appear in focus finally), fuzzy slippers, pretty jewelery, neat dvds (including BBC's 'Planet Earth' and a Norah Jones live show cd), and many other thoughtful gifts (like the blanket Becky made for me, with images of my family - myself, Luc, and my various pets sewn onto it)... :) I also have a big bag of dirt, and various pots waiting to be filled with pretty plants - and I set up a little indoor gardening area in the dog room with my pretty mini set of indoor gardening tools... :)

The Planet Earth DVD's are wonderful too - it really makes you realize just how awe-inspiring, beautiful, cruel and harsh the world really is, and how oblivious we are to it. The fact that once upon a time we might have been one of those species of 'animals' just fighting for our lives, picked off daily by some hungry predator who, likewise is just trying to keep itself and its young from going hungry. Every day may have been our last, and there would have been no 'moral' wrong in that. Now we take so much for granted, we are virtually indestructable, and life has become this crazy thing that we "hoard" to the point where we won't even let people who WANT to die die, it's just crazy to think of how there is still a brutal fight for survival going on every minute of every day with almost every other living thing on the planet, besides ourselves. The images are amazing too - and I can't get over the crazy tropical bird species that flip themselves into different wacky looking shapes and dance around. So far, that's been my favorite part.. ;)

Here's a picture of the male bird, who has flipped himself into an incrediblely bizzare shape, and is dancing for a rather uninterested female... ;) The narrator says, as the female walks away 'it's disheartening when one's very best is just not good enough...' ;)

Anyway, I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had signed up for a 12 days of Christmas daily message. Of course, being the 'Kerr' that I am, I am always late but in earnest ;) but late is better than never. So far, I've only had a brief chance to skim the first message before I was called away from the computer. Sooo, I'll post the link here, for anyone who might have some quiet time to themselves, and who might want to take a moment to 'reflect' on their lives. I'll post the next soon.. :) http://www.innerchristmas.com/071.html
Wishing you all a peaceful rest of your holiday...
:) S

Craziness abounds in my life.. Well, not exactly, but there's a big 'shift' going on right now, and as Luc and I were saying last night, everything is up in the air right now, opportunities are piling up around us, and we really need to give things time to settle before we figure out what our next move in life is...

I spoke with our mortgage broker yesterday, and while our current lender won't work a deal with us to extend the term and/or remortgage the property to release some more moolah for upgrades, there's potentially another lender that is willing to do all that, and sooner, so I have him looking into that for us. The idea would be to try to get some money out of the house now, so we could put Luc on the course he wants to take, as well as pay off some of our debts. However, no sooner did I get off the phone with the mortgage broker, then the real estate agent called. Apparently we have a potentially very interested buyer on our hands. Hmmm.. He's going to see it in early January, and if he likes it, will put in an offer right then and there.
So it begs yet another question - what do we want to do? Keep the house, invest our money (and that of our tenants of course) into making it better, and sell it when we'll make a profit? Or cut our losses now and walk away, at least eliminating any stress that comes along with trying to find tenants and do repairs/maintain the property? Hmmm...
Difficult really to say what will be best... I guess I am going to take the usual Shelley approach and just 'wait and see what happens', knowing that either way, we gain something (either independence and lack of stress, or money)... One thing I DO know, is that the next house we buy should be newer, because while I think 'hey, if we got rid of the apartments, we could put in a new kitchen and refinish the floors in our house (+ another list of things a mile long)' I realize that to me, that is a MAJOR inconvenience, and I believe Luc shares that view as well... So we'll both stall on it until we lose the opportunity to do anything about it.. Hm...

Secondly, my job has taken on much the same feeling as our apartments - it's like I've reached a fork in the road here too, and various possibilities have been presented to me, none with any guarantees, however, and so for now, I wait to see what happens, but either way it will eventually come down to a few key questions that all wittle away to 'money, or peace of mind?' because, I find, despite what the big corporations will tell you (that money buys happiness), money does NOT buy peace of mind, in a lot of ways. Yes, it ensures you no longer have to worry about 'survival' things, but you DO have to worry about a lot of petty, seemingly important, but ultimately draining things in life once you're playing with moolah... At any given time, any one of us could find big dollars, if we're willing to take risks for it - ex: I could become a sub contractor, give up any sense of security in my job, have to take on the marketing for myself, months off would be spent at home, unpaid (and stressing), but I'd make twice what I make now... Conversely, I could go find myself a cushy job in the gov't, doing a job that potentially does have a fairly low 'ceiling' on it (read: the salary stops quite short of where it'd be if I was NOT working for the gov't), with the risk of extreme boredom, but hey, I'd be secure and know that I would always have a job to go to... So that's what I'm weighing now too. Not subcontracting, that's not for me, but either consulting through my agency (which I love, but where I will have to invest a lot of time and hard work to really get anywhere), or taking a step down and finding a gov't job, refocusing myself on other aspects of ma vie... Hmmm... So I wait... :)

Lots of musing about boring things I guess.. Sorry!

Okay, here's a silly dissertation on something that bothers me (I'm giving into my retarded, petty side). I was thinking today that I'd like to go see the Golden Compass (and not just because Daniel Craig is in it!! He really only appeals when he's a pouty, devilish, weapon weilding Bond with gigantic muscles - day to day Daniel just isn't worth talking about... ;) ) But something I noticed today, is why I don't think Nicole Kidman is pretty. You hear it all the time, how she's gorgeous, but I find often when I see her in movies, or just pictures of her, there's something WRONG... I know what it is - I have CRACKED the Not-Pretty-Nicole mystery! It's her HAIR!! (Okay, and her choice of dress colours)...
I noticed that, at the premiere for the Golden Compass, she was there with her hair pulled off her forehead, wearing a cream-coloured gown. She looked, for all intensive purposes, like she was dead, and washing herself out with pale colours (that only serve to accentuate her ivory white skin), further accentuates the fact that her eyebrows are RED, while her hair is platinum. Furthermore, the fact that she tends to have her hair pulled back in a severe pony tail, or swept backwards off her face totally accentuates her rather wide forehead. I don't know why it bugs me, but it does. Don't get me wrong, I'm no beauty (which is why I don't get to stroll down red carpets in x-thousand dollar gowns, but I AM bored, so here, I grabbed some pictures to prove it (because I'm totally wasting time at the moment)..
Image 1: Nicole with yet another pale dress, pale hair, and looking totally washed out...

Image 2: Nicole with red hair - what a difference! Eureka! She looks VIBRANT!

Image 3: Nicole with her bangs pulled severely off her forehead...

Image 4: Ahhh, sweet, feminine bangs, totally softens her sharp features...

Okay, I'm done!! ;) But if I were her, I'd get ahold of my stylist and, well, fire them. ;)

So, the last week of Advent, and I must admit that I didn't do much at all to formally recognize it. However, for anyone who might be, the focus of the last Sunday of Advent is on the joy you feel at the end of the period of waiting (and the beginning of a couple weeks of celebrating, visiting with family, and eating waaaay too much).
I have decided, because I love Wavery Fitzgerald's writings so much, that I would re-read through each of her weekly thoughts that I used to subscribe to (I saved almost all of them). For this week, her focus was, naturally, on acknowledging the moments of joy in your life. And if you were having a difficult time feeling any 'joy' amid all the crazy preparations for the Christmas holiday, she had suggested that you ask yourself where you find joy in the holidays, and focus on those times. For me, I'd have to say my moments of 'joy' during the holidays are times when I'm with my family (eating!, ha ha), and especially during those quiet moments, like on Christmas Eve, relaxing by the tree with a baileys in one hand, the fire crackling beside you. Of course opening Christmas stockings are always very fun too (reminder to moi: must go get some stocking stuffers!), and getting together with friends on Christmas night (as well as brunch that day with family) are all highlights of my xmas holiday. Typical, I guess, most involve food or drink of some kind. I also love those days at work, when the festive spirit encourages people to stand around, talking, laughing, and sharing (and in our case, usually drinking some forbidden beverage safely hidden inside cans of coke)... And the days when you go in to work, and no one else is there, so you can listen to some music, or enjoy the silence, and just get things done.. :)
Yes, I do love this season, but for some reason this year, I still can't manage to feel Christmassy!! I look around and barely see any xmas lights up (that's my neighbourhood for you - I'm sure Hull is ablaze with gawdy colour again this year - it was always fantastic for that), and my shopping is pretty well done, the last few things just nagging 'I have to pick something up to add to that present!' types of things...
No, I think for me, the joy of this holiday will be the down time, where I can just sit and do absolutely nothing. :) I'm really tired this week!
Anyway, looking ahead to 2008, I'm happy to see that they're predicting a rise in housing prices - by 3.5%! That's good news for Luc and I, who have our house on the market. It also inspired me to contact my mortgage broker, to see about getting our mortgages straightened out. I'm hoping the interest rates will drop, due the the price increase in the housing market, and then I can perhaps switch our personal mortgage to 25 years, and see about switching our apartment's mortgage to 40 years, over the next few months. This, ideally, would free up some $$ monthly to go toward paying for siding and windows (increasing the value again), and we can then write off the interest charges that will be horrendously high on the apartment's mortgage. I'm starting to feel slightly like I'd like to hold onto the apartments still, as in a way, as long as we can have the tenants paying for the big stuff, we can handle the small stuff as we need to... Dunno, it's something to consider. If we kept them for five or ten years, we'd be able to sell them when we were ready to buy (or build) a new house...
Food for thought, and definitely a potential source of 'joy' if we can do this right... :)

Soooo, it's been almost a month since I've posted on here. There have been various things going on in my life, concerning my career, my family life, and getting ready for Christmas, that I could have written about, however, I had hoped to not make this into a journal, and yet, because of its total lack of purpose, this blog tends to house a lot of personal (and probably boring) thoughts about my life in general. So in an effort to get away from that, I haven't written anything as it would have been me meandering through my days and nights and putting everyone (if anyone reads this) to sleep.. ;)

Anyway, so without further ado, I thought I'd write about Advent. Up until now, I'd been shying away from anything that seemed Christian in origin because of my deep distrust of organized religions, however, I'm finding more and more that there is a lot to be said for learning to appreciate a more structured approach to spirituality and life, without closing the door on nature-based spirituality, and without having to fully embrace the literal 'renditions' of the Bible.. December is such a wonderfully spiritual time of year too, that I want to embrace all parts of it, and not shut anything out. I'm actually going to miss not going to midnight mass this year, as I did last year with my Mom and my sister. We used to do it every year when I was a child, and then my 'departure' from all things 'Churchey' made it so I had about 7 or 8 xmases where we didn't go to an evening mass, but stayed home and gorged ourselves on food and drink... I always missed lighting those tiny white candles and singing Silent Night, followed by the family piling into the car to drive around the town, looking for the house with the most lights on it.. :)

So this year, though I'm starting late, I hope to acknowledge what is left of both the Pagan and Christian Advent calendar... To summarize what Waverly Fitzgerald explains on her school of the seasons site, Pagan Advent begins four Sundays before Winter Solstice, and is a period of waiting for the 'birth of the sun'. Christian Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas and is a similar period of waiting, for the birth of the 'Son'...

From her site:
The period of Advent, which means “to come,” is the period of waiting for the birth of Christ at Christmas, or for the birth of the sun at Winter Solstice. It is a period of anticipation, of looking forward.The main quality of Advent is waiting. If it were a tarot card, it would be the Seven of Pentacles. At this time we are unable to do anything but wait through the growing darkness until we can celebrate the return of the Light. Most Advent customs have to do with marking time: lighting one candle on the Advent wreath each week, opening another door on the Advent calendar. These markers show us in a concrete way how much time has passed and how much time is left before the event we so joyously anticipate.

According to her, one way to celebrate Advent might entail lighting of candles (for Pagans, on an Advent wreath), to mark each Sunday that passes, followed by a time of story-telling and caroling. Story-telling has been passed down through the ages as a way to pass the time in the dark months, while sharing important lessons and bits of history with those close to you. Obviously, during the days when the sun was the only light you had to go by outside, you would find yourself inside together for longer periods, waiting out the darkness. I think I read somewhere as well that the Celts were not even allowed to tell a story until after sundown, and that it was the elders who told the stories, but I might be dreaming that!
Advent calendars are another popular way to pass the time, and range from the little cardboard ones with tiny little chocolates in them that we buy at the dollar store ;) , to more elaborate home-made ones (created by people who are either uber organizers or have WAY too much time on their hands!) that open to reveal inspiring pictures, or ornaments to put on the tree (I liked that idea)... The nativity scene is also used by some people to mark the time, each figurine added around the stable marking another passing day until the Christ child is added to the manger on the 25th. As she says, if you don't find 'Christ' fits with your spirituality, creating any sort of calendar or 'shrine' to the sun would work, even creating 13 ornaments representing the birth of the sun (spirals, mirrors, etc) to hang on your tree.

To make an advent wreath: http://www.schooloftheseasons.com/wreathmaking.html

Another sort of neat thing she suggested was this site: http://www.lynnjericho.com/newsletter1107.html that will send you a special thought to reflect upon over the 12 days of 'Inner Christmas'. The strange thing is it starts December 25 and goes until January 6th. Interestingly enough, the Armenian Apostolic Church, which is one of the most ancient Christian communities, celebrates Christmas on January 6th. You can enter your email address and you'll receive a thought or question each day during that time, for you to meditate on, in order to inspire a sense of 'deep joy' and sense of purpose in the coming year. Why not, right? ;) I want to work on my meditation skills anyway, as it is rumoured to be a miracle healer for stress, worry, doubt, and general mind-clutter that we all suffer from.

I'm still not sure what I will do this year to mark the days of Advent, as I'm feeling slightly scatterbrained and find it difficult to focus on one particular thing long enough to get anything out of it... One neat site I found, which is entirely Christian based, gives you a daily thought, prayer and passage to reflect on each day throughout Advent. http://www.followingthestar.org/

Here's another that explains some of the traditions in different cultures: http://heaintthroughwithmeyet.wordpress.com/2007/12/02/the-advent-wreath-and-why-i-have-one/

No matter which way you choose to celebrate Advent, I wish you all a very happy holiday season - and I hope you find some time to enjoy the peaceful indulgence of waiting! :)

S

Simpify, simplify, simplify...So, this week so far has been an interesting rollercoaster of a time, and I feel slightly disoriented and not fully 'in control' of really much in my life at the moment. That, coupled with a lack of motivation to do anything work-related, has contributed to me getting absolutely nothing done, and life zipping by at an even faster rate than usual (and that means, FAST)..
I took Monday off, with plans to clean the house, do some baking, cook some food for my dog (called 'Satin Balls', they're a blend of raw hamburger, various grains, molasses, eggs, you name it, designed to make him FAT and his coat glossy... :) ), and then I'd planned to venture into Ottawa to do some xmas shopping, as my limited attempts to do some thus far have resulted in me becoming totally overwhelmed (the crowds are INSANE this year!) and practically running out of the store, with nothing to show for my efforts.
However, at 3:30 pm I was still in my pj's, sitting in a dimly lit room in my basement, with my dog beside me, doing research online for my parents cruise. Yes, I said it, CRUISE!! Woohoo! I am very happy for them, as they will be embarking on a little adventure in early January (which is the cause of much stress at the moment, but I'm sure will be more than worth it in the end). It's called the 'Simpleman Cruise'. They will be sailing out of Miami, FL on a luxury cruise liner (The Imagination) headed for Key West and then to the Calica port in Mexico, before spending a final "Rock Day At Sea". The cruise is put on by Lynyrd Skynyrd, who will be on board to perform two concerts and generally hang out with the crazy fans. 11 other bands will be joining them, including the Georgia Satellites (which is the band that led me to discover this cruise). I have been looking at different itinerary options for each of their stops, and it seems that they will be enjoying gourmet food (all inclusive), concerts and parties at the different stages and bars throughout the ship, relaxing by the pool, touring Key West, and spending a day enjoying the Xcaret Eco Park in Mexico, where they can swim with dolphins, glide down an underground river through caves, and lounge on the white-sand beaches overlooking the crystal blue ocean. Yup, I wish I was going, but I am so much happier that THEY are going - what an opportunity! And every passenger on the ship is cut from the same cloth - no stodgy rich snobs on this ship, it's all beards, bandanas and black t-shirts - my father will blend well.. :) For an idea check this out - look for the 'shark man' as I call him - could be my Dad's best friend... ;-)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN-23DZq_fU
Anyway, so back to my simplifying life, (which seems impossible for me)... After watching my parents' reaction go from super excited to suddenly stressed to the max, I realized that we all tend to pile on so much 'not fun' crap in our lives, that when anything good comes along, we have to stretch ourselves to the point of breaking in an attempt to accomdate the 'joyful' thing because we're so loaded down with the crap. Luc pointed something out to me that kind of made me wonder if perhaps part of the reason why I never feel in control of my life is that there are too many underlying complexities that don't need to be there. When I think back to the Spring, when I finally felt 'together', I remember we lived in a tiny apartment (which we owned), and really did seem to live a lot more 'simply'. I could afford anything I needed, I spent my time cooking and crafting and having friends over to share good food and drinks, and generally was enjoying life. However, then we added complexities to our lives and things have been out of balance ever since.
Recently, we sold the second car, Luc got a job in the city where I also work, and we've listed the apartments for sale. All good things for scaling back the craziness in our lives. But there are little things that are still out of control - which is what Luc brought to light when he asked me 'why do you have so many email addresses - why do you have to make everything so complicated?!' and it's true. I have five email addresses that I use regularly, and two more that aren't used as often but still do exist. I have four bank accounts, three RRSP accounts, a line of credit, credit card and bank loan to manage, along with debts that are in Luc's name that I can't seem to keep track of (and thus have been late paying for), I have fifty thousand little 'projects' buried in boxes in the office, I have half-read books all over the house... I think its all due in part to my lack of organizational skills (hence the need to keep separate bank accounts and email addresses to avoid mixing things together and having to keep closer track of what I'm doing) and as well, my incessant need to always be looking beyond what I have now (hence starting a million new ideas and never finishing them). I was reading an article in a magazine recently, that said you should take each project you have, ask yourself if you would get enjoyment out of completing it, and if it's important to you, and if you can say yes to both those things, set a timeframe to get it done in. If you can't commit to the timeline, donate the project to someone who will or throw it out. Eeek... That would mean a lot of things get thrown out or I'd actually have to start sticking to a schedule. But maybe that's the key. I find I flounder around, wasting time, and when I finally get time to do something, I'm so stressed and exhausted by worrying about everything that I just crash and waste MORE time... A vicious cycle.So I'm starting a new 'thing'. January is my 'start nothing new', dark month.. December will be my celebratory month (of course), and November will be my purge month. That way, I can spend November purging, December living it up because I have a lighter load to carry and tons of fun activities to occupy my time, and January I'll have my calm, quiet month where I decide what new things I want to start taking on again in Feb... Wish me luck!! :)
S

Ooooh, this picture is essentially a 'snapshot' of what is sitting in a pretty green shopping bag next to my chair right now. :) I went to a store, hidden in an old brick house in the Glebe today (called knit-knackers for anyone who cares), and bought my first real 'skein' of wool... (Up to this point, I've been making scarves for myself using mostly acryllic wool from Walmart, he he). I'm planning to make a good friend of mine a really pretty, really soft scarf, but we'll see how it goes, I'm a little nervous that I won't make it look the way I want it to (I'm a beginner, after all!)... I've been taking it out and holding it every now and then because I'm neurotic and I like the way it feels so soft and squishy. It's "Kettle Dyed Pure Merino Wool" from Uruguay... Fun! :)

Samhain... :)

Celebrated on October 31, Halloween (also known as Samhain), is the Witches' New Year's Eve [this is taken from a Wiccan book - it's also the Celtic New Year!] and third harvest. It is a time to play with our shadow selves and sit in the woods between the worlds of light and darkness, knowing all things are possible. Nature is recessing into the quiet barrenness of winter. It is a season to acknowledge that both light and darkness are necessary to our growth. Remember departed loved ones and their gifts, harvest strength, trust the mirror reflecting your light, salute health, believe in enchantment, and tell stories as the veil between the mundane and magickal worlds is at its thinnest. Symbols of the holiday are pumpkins, skeletons, marigolds, fall leaves, pomegranates, and witch hats. Herbs and other plants associated with this sabbat include apple, broom, milk thistle, mint, mullein, nutmeg, oak, sage and wormwood.

Well, I have to say, for our Samhain, it wasn't the kind of day that really got me thinking all sorts of eerie, spooky thoughts. It was a bright, sunshiny day, plus 16, and beautiful outside. I ended up missing the bus home and didn't get home until after 6:00, but it wasn't too late to hand out a few treats to the 20 or so kids we got. I just closed the lights and hid the pumpkins as the older crowds are now coming to the door, and the last ones were eyeing our 'masterpieces'... Come to think of it, I didn't even take pictures of our pumpkins this year! Luc made a great one, sewing the eyes and mouth with gardening twine, to look like a kind of Texas Chainsaw Massacre doll head.. Pretty freaky.

We had a good Halloween gathering on the weekend though, just a small group of us got together, but we all got dressed up and had a little too much fun with the camera.. ;0) The picture above is of our Halloween feast, complete with a "brain" (shrimp), spiders, worms in dirt (candy worms in oreo cookie crumbs), and roasted pumpkin seeds. We served our guests a nice desert of cat poop to finish it off... :)

Even 'Jiggs' got in on the fun. :)

Anyway, tonight I wish I could have a bit of time to 'ring in' the "mini new year". However, I'm stalling because I have to get through a horrendous pile of work first. Ick.

While I do still celebrate the New Year on January first as my main 'starting over point' (as we basically celebrate the end of the year with xmas and New Years parties, going out with a 'bang' and then starts my 'quiet month' where I'm not allowed to start anything new), I do still like to acknowledge the 'change' I feel at Halloween. Last night, Tigger and I were walking through the neighbourhood, and it was like my whole 'being' just took a great big siiiiigh.. The air was still, the trees were dark and still, everything had a slightly surreal peacefulness hanging over it, that seemed to just slow down whatever crazy ticking time-keeper is always driving me mad inside. It was really nice and I thought to myself 'thank goodness we're finally in a resting period'. Not that we actually are, but there's something in the stillness that I find so calming.

Our lives are anything but calm at the moment, but it's a good busy, not a stressful busy. Luc just accepted a new job in Ottawa, which he's busy studying for, so that marks a rather large change in our lives. He's going from the job he got out of college, in the tiny town of Shawville, to a job in a mid-sized, faster-paced international company based in the city. It will hopefully offer him rewarding challenges, better benefits, and he'll be closer to home (though with the traffic, the commuting time doesn't actually lessen very much!). So we're pretty excited about that, though I know he'll be sad to leave where he works now, and they'll miss him a lot.

We also sold the car, last Thursday, which happened in the blink of an eye (after about 8 months of waiting). So far, it hasn't had a negative impact on us having one car again, so hopefully we'll be able to make it through to next Spring and get some of our debts paid off. My poor cavalier can't keep being treated like an suv for much longer - she hauled two bales of straw home on Monday night, which was quite the 'endeavour' (for the car, and for ME!)

I'm already turning my attention to the xmas 'season'.. Sick eh? ;) I bought a present for my sister the other day. I can't wait to dress up the house for it. We have a million other things we have to do first, but it's fun to think of where I'll put the tree. :)

Anyway, guess I better go get this work done, so I still have a job!

Happy Halloween everyone - enjoy your evenings, be safe, and remember to take some time out to reflect on your year, what you 'harvested' and revel in the glory of having a quiet moment to take it all in before the craziness starts again. :)

S

Well, it's been a while since I've posted, as there hasn't been much to say, really. I've been playing 'catch-up' with life, and am still picking up loose ends, but at least it's a bit more calm now...

I have found, of late, that I've stumbled across some fascinating blogs that are really, truly worth a look (when you're not supposed to be working - they're addictive!)... One is Pruned - http://pruned.blogspot.com/ (which is where this picture was borrowed from)... For someone like moi, who is not very good with geography, geology, or understanding anything that is going on around the world (I chalk it up to selfish oblivion :) ), this blog is packed with interesting tidbits of the weird, awe-inspiring, or thought-provoking things going on around the planet(s) (they have a story on Mars with photos as well). The author seems to have more than enough knowledge to make insightful commentary on just about anything going on, from the 'uncovering' of Greenland (thanks to Global Warming) and its economical possibilities, to the most stunning architectural endeavours recently created by humans, working WITH nature, that will either leave you breathless, or dead, to idiots who dump red paint in ancient fountains to protest miniscule issues surrounding the film festival. Actually, I found this site originally because I'd done a google image search on Hong Kong's 'The Arch' development, where an apartment just sold for a whopping $14 million (over that actually). I ended up clicking on an image called 'the Escalators of Hong Kong' or something like that (I get distracted easily) and was taken into an unrelated story in this blog, where it was reviewing a book that was written on a major hurricane in 1900, after which, the surviving population built a wall and raised all their buildings up on stilts by HAND to protect against another one. That led me to looking through the articles posted, and honestly you can waste quite a bit of time reading it. :)
Anyway, so there's my pitch for someone's blog that is actually interesting... ;) I wish I could write something like what this person has, however it would take WAY too much time and I'd actually have to find a topic worth writing about that I actually KNOW something about. So instead, I stick to my ramblings about my life, sorry guys.. ;)

Hmmmm... I really don't have any purpose for blogging at the moment. I am just really fidgety. I have work to do, which I've been picking away at, but it is very very hard to stay focused on it (it's very very boring work)...

Sigh...

I find myself making lists again. Lists of jobs I want but never will get, projects to do (both fun and not) that I never seem to have time or energy for, and things I want but can't afford - xmas gifts for people, bales of straw for Tigger, wool to make scarves, mitts, maybe some cuter projects like bags and things, a holly tree because I promised myself I'd get one for our yard, curtains and/or blinds for the living room windows because we currently are living in a fishbowl, cute rainboots, a new, longer Fall jacket, stockings and socks to wear in my dressier shoes because bare feet are too cold, new glasses because I wouldn't mind having a pair to give my eyes a break from the constant half-blindness of contacts.. No shopping for me!! Nope, our budget is stretched tightly over the small mountain of debt we have.

Oh well... I find the worst thing is that, where I was finally starting to feel like I knew who I was months and months ago, for some reason, something huge shifted and I find myself staring at a girl I don't even know. And the more I realize who I am, for some reason, the more depressed I become...

Blah...

Whining...

Enough...

S

Well, back at work (and not working - so I'll try to keep this short and sweet) after a long weekend (was it really a long one?? Didn't feel like it!!)
:) We had serious reason to celebrate, however... After a final four or five hour stint at the apartment on Friday evening, followed by a clean-up on Saturday morning, we happily handed over the keys to the new tenants, who oooh'd and aaaah'd (okay maybe not quite, but they were impressed) at how it looked. That joyous moment marked the start of a new freedom for us and we are both SO HAPPY that it's over. :) I then went and picked up Pru, my sister's GSD, to babysit her until Monday, which was fun, as she and Tigger kept each other amused all weekend. :)
Sunday was spent with me running errands (five stores later, I decided to call it quits and go home, only to get a phone call half-way home from my frantic mother who had just added two more guests to our thanksgiving dinner invitees)... So I unloaded the car (which involved plunking various grocery bags infront of the door and ringing the doorbell repeatedly, to summon Luc who was trying to sleep, while holding the cell phone glued to my ear while my Mom yacked and my neighbour mowed his lawn right next to me, while dodging the turkey that escaped its bag and was rolling down the driveway and onto his grass)....
By now, Luc was finally up (he was napping) and went outside to clean up the yard, which I later ruined because I removed two small trees that had been bothering me, but wasn't strong enough to pull up the stumps, so now there are leaves, small branches, and holes in the lawn that he'd cleaned up... ;) Finally, I settled in to do my baking - two pumpkin pies, two apple crumb pies, and a pumpkin cheesecake loaf (which was a HIT at dinner)... I finally made it to bed at 11:00 pm and was up again at 8:30 to put turkey #1 into the over (we cooked two).
Anyway, all in all, we had a very nice visit with various relatives, and everyone left well-fed and showering the cook with praise (yay! I didn't burn anything!!). We won't mention the squash that wasn't ready and didn't get eaten or the brussel sprouts that are still in the freezer.. ;)

Anyway, I do love Thanksgiving and this time we had a lot to be thankful for (mostly to do with the apartment)... ;) That being said, I'm a little glad that it's over as it marked the end of an insane six (or more) months for us. Yes, we still have things to do at the apartments, and our own house has been sadly neglected, but that's all things we can chip away at slowly.

Now I can start looking forward to Halloween and Christmas... Yes, Christmas. We did the family gift draw and now I can start focussing on what I want to buy for everyone (because of necessary budget 'constraints' I want to get it done EARLY this year)... I'm also starting to get the hang of this knitting business (wore one of my scarves to work today) and discovered that I have the wrong wool for what I want to make. So hopefully I'll be able to hunt down some nicer stuff over the next little while and start making some neat gifts for people.. (Maybe). ;)

Well, gotta get back to work. If you're bored and broke, here's a blog I enjoy reading - stumbled upon it the other day. It's great common-sense and she's got a writing style that makes her posts very enjoyable to read: http://budgetingbabe.blogspot.com/

xo