Merry ho-ho - I'm back at work today (Thursday), after a somewhat interesting Noel... Let's just say that, maybe due to a the fact they started the Christmas Season on November 1st this year in stores, most people were in crabby moods, totally tired and stressed, and well, xmas just wasn't the sparkling oasis that every year I wish it would be (and rarely is)...

I returned home with the evil thought in my head that everyone and their dog is totally messed up in life, that we're all just struggling along to survive, and that forcing ourselves to put on this 'happy happy joy joy' chirade while we all rush from here to there, meeting in a whirlwind frenzy of gift unwrapping, gorging ourselves on rich food (which ultimately leads to a nice stomach ache later on), and the endless driving back and forth to visit stressed-out family members just isn't worth the hassle. I came to the conclusion (as I do most years) that I'd much rather visit family on either weekend AROUND xmas, but not ON xmas, as our visits are much more enjoyable when there isn't so much hype surrounding them.

I found myself wishing we had children of our own, and that we could just stay home, where our pretty tree sits in the bay window, neglected, while we are running around the countryside. I really cannot wait for the day when we can wake up Christmas morning to the sound of excited kiddlies pitter-pattering around the tree, half-buried with treasures from 'Santa'.. And to be able to make eggs benedict with pemeal (sp?) bacon for breakfast, like my Mom always did, and opening gifts slowly and thoughtfully, actually taking the time to enjoy what each one contains, and to properly thank the ones giving them to you. Then maybe after brunch (and perhaps relatives could join us for that part if they live nearby) then we might go visiting. Or maybe not. I always loved Christmas day at our family's home. We'd get up really early in the morning and excitedly tiptoe down to the living room (at 2 or 3 in the morning, ha ha) and open our stockings. Then we'd play quietly with the toys and games we'd found in them, with only the light of the tree to go by (which always gave it a sort of magical feel) until our parents got up. Then we would be allowed to open our gifts from Santa only. Leaving the rest of the tree untouched while Mom made breakfast. After breakfast was over, we'd then sit back down infront of the tree and take turns opening our gifts. Then we had the whole day to relax in the living room, playing with new toys, trying on new clothes, watching tv, and all in all, just indulging in pure 100% relaxation time. Meanwhile, the turkey and big xmas dinner would be cooking in the oven, and we'd have a big supper before finally settling down to watch a movie or whatever and finally off to bed, our bellies full and our minds relaxed. THAT is how xmas should be, and will hopefully be again, once we have a family of our own...

There has been some talk in my family of our parents moving closer as well, so hopefully someday that will be a reality (speaking selfishly of course) and then we can also include them in our xmas celebrating, instead of doing this somewhat stressful 'rotation' schedule, where every second xmas we go to Luc's family's homes, instead of seeing my parents, and vice versa, which I think is hard on both of us. It's just kind of sad, as for example, this year, the way people's schedules are working, and with the amount of stress building throughout our family (due to many many factors, all out of our control), we will not be making the trip down to see my parents on New Years. I had been looking forward to it, however, after discussing it with my sister and mother, we have all decided that it's just too much hype and craziness to travel down there when people are working all in between now and New Years. I'm hoping that Becky and I will be able to take some time to go see them once Christmas is done and overwith, and things have settled down a bit with my grandparents. My parents are going on a cruise (bane of my existance at this point) and I'm hoping desperately that they can at least 'get through it' unscathed and will return home a bit more relaxed (doubt it though). My grandparents are also taking a very gigantic (and difficult) step and are moving into a home in a nearby town (about an hour from my place), due to my Grandpa's failing health, and that is weighing heavily on the family, my mother especially. So perhaps later on, maybe in February, I'll go spend some time down with them when there's no expectation, and we can actually appreciate seeing each other.

Ahhhh... So on to lighter things I suppose!! I did get some great gifts from everyone this year, including a coffee maker with a timer (yeh!!), a breadmaker (mmm, made italian bread last night!), a tripod for my camera (so perhaps images will appear in focus finally), fuzzy slippers, pretty jewelery, neat dvds (including BBC's 'Planet Earth' and a Norah Jones live show cd), and many other thoughtful gifts (like the blanket Becky made for me, with images of my family - myself, Luc, and my various pets sewn onto it)... :) I also have a big bag of dirt, and various pots waiting to be filled with pretty plants - and I set up a little indoor gardening area in the dog room with my pretty mini set of indoor gardening tools... :)

The Planet Earth DVD's are wonderful too - it really makes you realize just how awe-inspiring, beautiful, cruel and harsh the world really is, and how oblivious we are to it. The fact that once upon a time we might have been one of those species of 'animals' just fighting for our lives, picked off daily by some hungry predator who, likewise is just trying to keep itself and its young from going hungry. Every day may have been our last, and there would have been no 'moral' wrong in that. Now we take so much for granted, we are virtually indestructable, and life has become this crazy thing that we "hoard" to the point where we won't even let people who WANT to die die, it's just crazy to think of how there is still a brutal fight for survival going on every minute of every day with almost every other living thing on the planet, besides ourselves. The images are amazing too - and I can't get over the crazy tropical bird species that flip themselves into different wacky looking shapes and dance around. So far, that's been my favorite part.. ;)

Here's a picture of the male bird, who has flipped himself into an incrediblely bizzare shape, and is dancing for a rather uninterested female... ;) The narrator says, as the female walks away 'it's disheartening when one's very best is just not good enough...' ;)

Anyway, I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had signed up for a 12 days of Christmas daily message. Of course, being the 'Kerr' that I am, I am always late but in earnest ;) but late is better than never. So far, I've only had a brief chance to skim the first message before I was called away from the computer. Sooo, I'll post the link here, for anyone who might have some quiet time to themselves, and who might want to take a moment to 'reflect' on their lives. I'll post the next soon.. :) http://www.innerchristmas.com/071.html
Wishing you all a peaceful rest of your holiday...
:) S