So, this could possibly be the first week day of the last week I will not be a "Mommy". It was an 'odd' sort of day, actually. I was awake when Luc got up for work, at around 6:15 am, and didn't go back to sleep. I lay there with this feeling of anticipation and finally decided to get up and have breakfast with Luc before he left for work. Once he was gone, I sat there, yawning, and decided to organize my to-do list for the day, figuring that'd inspire me to get a jumpstart on showering, cleaning out the fridge, then grocery shopping.
However, I managed the list and then found myself 'flagging', so I sat at the table for a bit, then finally made an executive decision to force myself back to bed, as this non-moving, robotic me was not going to get anything done anyway. I woke up at 9:30 from a deep sleep to the sound of the phone ringing. It took me ages to drag myself out of bed, and after I'd returned the call (to Luc), I sat in my rocking chair and dozed off again. I started to wonder if this was the exhaustion before 'the storm' of labour hits. However, it was not. I found a second wind, but obviously was still moving slowly as I barely managed to fit my 'tasks' into the day before Luc was home. Infact, I didn't get a chance to call a new friend with whom I've been hoping to get together with before the baby arrives.

I was fully expecting to have a boring wait before our little one came, but I find that every day is packed with shopping, cleaning, laundry, organizing, phone calls to various different companies for various different reasons, cooking, etc... It's crazy. It's making me start to think that adding a baby to the mix might be more than I can handle with my current work load, hence why every woman I know has warned me to drop the idea that I can 'do it all' - apparently I'm not the first woman to have gone through this.
It's innocent though really - you go from working 9 - 5 every week day, to suddenly having nothing but time on your hands which finally opens up the possibility to transform your home into the clean, organized, well-run enterprise that it always should have been but never was. The irony is that all your hard work goes out the window the minute the real reason you are home arrives... ;)

Anyway, it's summer solstice, and I didn't really formally get to recognize it, however I did manage to plant a bunch of flowers in pots, which are now hanging from trees, or tucked along the stairs of the deck, or clustered among the potted leafy plants I already had. I lucked in and paid $1 for each flat of 8 plants, so for $6 I came home with a good number of begonias, impatiens and little purple flowers (can't remember what they're called) - all semi shade tolerant, to make my yard a bit prettier. :)

I'm hoping to get back into my nature-appreciating, seasonal-crafting side of things again this year. I already have my eye on a book:

Enchanted Circles: Flower Garlands, Swags and Wreaths

I'm hoping to build some nice harvest wreaths and real Christmas garlands. I have a looooong list of things I want to get into this year though, and no telling if I'll actually achieve any of it. Just for fun, I'm thinking of:

- projects around the house (floors, the kitchen, furniture for the living room, repainting upstairs);
- seasonal crafts;
- walking with other Moms (strollercise groups);
- yoga;
- cooking and baking;
- taking courses in running my own business and/or business analysis and project management;
- taking another course in French;
- everything BABY!! ;) (swimming lessons, cardio classes, play groups with him/her)

All that and I still have to find time for laundry, groceries and cleaning the house, ha ha.
Okay, so probably only two things off that list will come true, but we'll see how it goes!

Here's to new beginnings and long, lazy summer days ahead!

xoxo

Well, it's been over a year since I felt the need to 'blast' my thoughts into cyberspace, but I figured since I'm now entering what promises to be a VERY interesting year, I thought I'd resurrect the practice, at least for the time being. (We'll see how long it lasts once I'm changing diapers and feeding my little 'buddy' all day and night).

Last Friday, June 11, I essentially 'abandoned' the 9-5 world (quite literally, I had to leave before my test scripts could finish running so I essentially left loose ends which I'm sure will haunt me forever, as I skipped out the door and onto my next 'phase' in life). I'll admit I'm faking the whole "stay at home mom" (SAHM) idea because we all know I'll be back at work in a year. However, I think so far I'm off to a fairly good start with this new 'job' of mine. Though that may have to do with the fact my new 'boss' hasn't yet arrived on the scene.

For the last two days, I've managed to be awake before 8:00 (yesterday I started at 7:30 am), and faced the day with the intent to "get things done". I've been able to tackle things I haven't had time to do in ages - mountains of paperwork, bills to be paid, trips to the bank, grocery shopping (properly), house cleaning that wasn't getting done, and of course the prep-work that goes along with expecting a baby to suddenly appear in one's house. I saw a lactation consultant today, and after cursing a blue streak trying to re-install the carseat in the Jeep, I also saw a car-seat installation specialist (who thankfully made the process a TON easier once he showed me I was doing it wrong). :) I didn't realize it, but Gatineau has a list of garages with certified car-seat-installer-extraordinaire people who will help you do the installation for FREE. Sweet deal.

Tomorrow I have another lactation "buddy" coming to see me in the morning, (she's a mother of two and a volunteer who will hopefully be my 'life line' when I'm convinced my baby is starving and I just can't go on) and another ultrasound and doctor's appointment in the afternoon. So that'll be another busy day. I find it ironic that I had to dig out my day planner and carefully schedule my week - something I never had to do when working. If every day could be like the last two, I think I might seriously entertain the idea of quitting my job and running 'the household' instead. At least every day is something different and hey, if I need to take a walk because it's sunny out, or a nap because I'm exhausted, I can schedule that in - fabulous!

I'm also hoping to kind of 'reconnect' with life (outside of work) this year. I have met some wonderful ladies already that I know will become a huge source of support to me (and help fend off feelings of isolation), I intend to get to know my town a bit better (started with a great walk along the beach at the marina with a friend on Sunday afternoon, something I NEVER do), and I also am hoping to tap into what's going on in the world, as I really have no clue. It's amazing how you can tunnel-vision your way through life where suddenly the only important elements of your day are: what to wear to work, what to do at work, what to eat for lunch and supper, what to watch on tv at night. Seriously, there's so much more out there!! I think having kids is going to be a wonderful experience that will re-open corners of the world I'd long forgotten, and I'm very excited about that. :)

Anyway, we're still waiting for our 'petite patate' to arrive, and I have a feeling it won't be until next week. In the meantime, I'm enjoying this time while it lasts!

Sweet dreams for now,
S